blacksheep in the family

Philippines
August 14, 2011 3:31pm CST
Do you have a black sheep in the family. How does it feel? How do you sees her/him? Did you ever think that every mistakes made in the house was her/his fault because she/he is the black sheep? To be honest I am the blacksheep in our family right now. When I was a kid I was so good. I follow them and listen to them, to what they all say. I always do what is told to me but when I was growing up I realized that I was so good and they were talking advantage of it. I then started to follow what I desire. I still listen but I stop following what they order me to do. Then they started saying life I am a bad kid and not obeying them anymore. Then it leads to something. I started fighting back when I feel that they don't respect me. I felt like because I am the youngest they want me to follow everything they say. I was like 'you're not paying me to follow you in everything you want me to do'. That started there and then I became the black sheep. When I turned 19, from then on I notice that every little mistakes that happen inside the house was my fault. I mean, like when there were some mess in some part of the house. My mom though I did that. There were unclean in the kitchen. She again thought I did that. When she saw some unpleasant things in the house she blame me first. I noticed that everyday. It felt like I never done anything good in her eyes. I am the black sheep but I grew up now and know how to do thing properly but it seems like she hasn't changed her views in me. She knows why I became a black sheep, I told her why but it seems like she doesn't care and she doesn't want to listen.
8 responses
@Rick1950 (1546)
• Lima, Peru
14 Aug 11
I don't think that you are a black sheep in your family, but you should obey your parents, although you know that they doesn't have the reason. I think you will feel better doing this. You will avoid conflicts and achieve the inner peace.
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Yeah, maybe you are right on that. We should be good all the time but I already accept being the black sheep so I don't feel like being good anymore. I'll just deal with the situation.
@Rick1950 (1546)
• Lima, Peru
15 Aug 11
Then, you will never be a good girl again?
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Uhm no, it's not really what I meant. Actually there's a reason behind why I became the black sheep. Our elder and I and not in good terms for about 9 years already. I only become bad when I'm in the house because he still lives with his parents even he have his own family already. In college I stayed in boarding house. I am only bad when I'm in the house but outside I'm a very good girl. . I know it will change if they changed first. Because I am only good to people who are good to me. So if they didn't changed the way they are toward me, I won't change as well.
@huilichan8 (1379)
• Singapore
14 Aug 11
Yes, the black sheep in my family is my father. It's sad but it's true. In your case, I think you are been seen as the black sheep but you are not. There is a difference between an actual black sheep and a person who is seen as one. My definition of 'black sheep' differs from yours. Anyway, if you are financially able to, have you thought of moving out? I think it's better for you in the long-term. Take care and have a great wk ahead!:)
• Singapore
14 Aug 11
That may be true generally, but it's not true in the case of my father. He was the youngest child and the most pampered among his siblings. Anyway, thanks.:)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Yeah, I think me and your father are black sheep in different way. I was the youngest but they want me to grew up as a good girl who always follow my older brother and sister. That's terrible. I am the youngest forever but I can't do follow them forever. I was not born to follow them in everything they want.
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
I am actually looking for a job now so I can move out from this house. Hope I can find soon.
@QeeGood (1214)
• Sweden
15 Aug 11
I've been the "black sheep" in our family according to my younger sister, who in her own point of view always seems to do,to say and to be the most appropriate in our family. I've offered me freely for my family, but been ignore, rejected and judged unfairly. As well other people often judge me unfairly not knowing the full story. I'm used to it. I've learnt I'm my own very best dependable friend, who I have with my always.
@QeeGood (1214)
• Sweden
15 Aug 11
In my character I'm a good heart human being. I always try to bring out the good in others no matter how they are. I'm like Jesus I turn the other cheek trying to give love and understanding. But I've learnt that some people do not understand my kindness and good heart with my selfless approach!
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I believe you are a good person. Sometime good person are the one who's been abused. I always try to be good in public not to be good in the eyes of people but because I know I should be. But I realize when you are too good to people they tend to put you down or won't treat you right. Maybe because they thought you won't fight back. I have experienced that much.
@jugsjugs (13045)
16 Aug 11
I think that there are a lot of families that tend to have a black sheep in the family.I feel like i am the black sheep of my family and i know that my husband is the black sheep in his.I tend and he tends not to care much, as we are older and we have our own lives to live now.
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I actually don't care anymore. And what I wanted to do is live by it. I just showed them what they see me.
@koperty3 (1877)
15 Aug 11
I'm black sheep in my family. I was good and responsible kid as I'm the oldest. I started to have my own ideas and my own point of view. My family have never been happy what ever I did. I love sport and I was good at it my family never came to see my. When I was graduated my family did not come to see me having my paper. When I started writing novels they said that I have no talent no matter that they never read anything mine. They just judged that my stories are not worth the time. That was long time. My and my partner wanted to be engaged and we invited both our mothers ( as we have no fathers any more)and my brother for special dinner. My mother said to my future mother in law that I'm fat, I can't cook and I will be bad wife. Can you imagine this? Thanks God we live in different country and I don't have to listen to my family. I call them once for a while to let them know that I still care for them. I don't want them to put their shoes in my life because I'm adult and this is my life!
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I think they are the bad one. You are not the black sheep because it's them. I salute you because despite the fact that they treat you that way you seems that you are still good to them.
• Jamaica
15 Aug 11
you can't please everyone! continue to do what you want and what you do best! and you're not a blacksheep! you're just standing up for yourself, which is a quality that should be admired! continue...
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Yeah, I agree. Thanks! I have learnt to stand up for my self because of them to. I should also thanks them.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Being a youngest in the family is not easy because most of our elders wanted us to follow their orders. They make us like a child always with no capacity to decide what we like, what we need and what is the best in our life. Even though we are already grown up and in my case i have already my family but still the same they treated me like i am the same child as they know. Before i was like you a very good one and always obey, follow them as my elders sisters and brothers. But since i do wrong with them because of money which i cannot intended to spend it for nonsense they begun to change and now i am a black sheep among our family. THey started to hate me and almost dont want to talk to me even at phone. I am turning into bad now for their eyes. How bad....
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Sometime I want to be bad at first to others and then be good to them in the future. Because when they think you are bad and then found of soon that you are good sometime. They would say, "she is not really that bad". But when you are good at the beginning and then in the future you show your bad side. The one that will register in them was you being bad. They would say like "I though that one was good but now she shows that she is not". That's why sometimes I don't know what to do. I started to be confused of what is bad and what is not.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
15 Aug 11
I'm the black sheep, and I take pride in who I am. My childhood sounds similar to yours, but it my mother went as far as to intentionally punish me KNOWING that my siblings had done something wrong in the hopes to get them to care and confess. Of course, they never did... why would they when they had me for a whipping boy? Growing up, I was raised to accept differences even if I didn't agree with them.. Not to be bias toward those of a different race or religion "Just Because." Now my mother is almost disgusted by people who are different than she is. She is a conservative Christian patriot. She raised us watching horror flicks and that games like Dungeons and Dragons were okay if you didn't believe that they were real and that nighttime television drams sucked. Now she regrets letting me watch cheesy horror flicks like Fright Night and thinks that I am going to go to hell for playing MMORPGs like WoW. She constantly makes snide remarks about one of my friends, simply because he is Muslim, even though he was generous enough to provide for my family financially when I lost my job. She makes remarks about my friends who have punk hairstyles and clothing... she doesn't know them at all, or she'd realize that most of them have spent time working in foreign countries to establish rural transportation systems, volunteer as tutors for inner city youth, and have even created programs in some of Chicago's toughest neighborhoods to help keep the kids off of the streets and out of trouble. Me? I'm outspoken and I cut my hair the way I want to cut it. I wear what I want to wear and I have friends of every race, religion, creed, lifestyle.. from corporate execs to outright thugs. I've pretty much always worked minimum wage jobs and surviving is a struggle most days. Most of my family members have good jobs... One owns his own business, one cousin is a pyrotechnician, another is a doctor and married a doctor. And if I don't live up to their standards, that's just fine with me. I live life as a decent human being and live by my own standards, not the expectations of others. Black sheep, indeed (:\ Baaaahaaaahaaaah!
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Haha, yeah I understand you as well. Even me sometimes I even thought of living as the real black sheep. I even though of change my style and become like those rocker or emo who wear black dress and black make up. I want to do that just to annoy them and show them I am living as what they think of me, the black sheep. But i didn't do that actually just got in my thought back then. But I think your mom is reasonable enough not like my mom. But there nothing I can do with that. I just have to deal with her.