A relationship without a commitments? how does it work?
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
Philippines
September 14, 2011 7:01am CST
Hi mylotters, i been thinking this for more than a week now. there this one guy that i dated before, we still exchanging messages after that date, after a couple of weeks that we haven't communicate, i thought its just ended like that, it was fine with me then, because i was still longing for my past relationship that end up for a few weeks at that time, but recently he started to communicate again, and asking to go out again it was fine again with me beside he really a fun to be with. Now he told me that he likes me, but he dont want a serious relationship right now, and he ask me if i wanted to be in the kind of relationship that no commitments at all, its just like friends with benefit or i dont know what to call that. no rules, no do's and don't, just having fun together. i was recently broke up with my bf and i really need someone also to help me to forget him, though i was been lately ok and moving on, but still i really wanna do that in a fastest way. this kind of set up would help me?
Please guys.. and dear lotters, need your advice. what should i do? Any suggestion and advice would really appreciated.. Thanks in advcance..
4 responses
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
15 Sep 11
Hello Mika, I thought we had some talked about this in the past? and not to mention, that was like a few months ago
. I thought you didn't want but seeing this discussion makes me think you're having second thoughts
. oh, well If you think you wanted a relationship like that then I won't hold it against you.
You do realize what Friends with BENEFITS mean. In a moral perspective i could say No, but we all like to have fun aren't we
. just do it safe.
. I thought you didn't want but seeing this discussion makes me think you're having second thoughts. oh, well If you think you wanted a relationship like that then I won't hold it against you.
You do realize what Friends with BENEFITS mean. In a moral perspective i could say No, but we all like to have fun aren't we. just do it safe. @Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
16 Sep 11
Hi LK, yes i know that i already got your advice and not thinking about it already. The guy just recently message me again for couple of days and asking the same thing again if i already thinking about it, i already told him that i'm not used to it. I told him also if he likes me then we can start in a nice way, he says he was afraid that he does not meet my expectation as my bf. I also make to the point to him that if that so called "Benefit" includes the intimacy, i am not ok with that and i will not do it just to make that Benefit be beneficial to him. I know that you already told me that i rather not to do it, and I am now and im taking that advice and the fellow lotters. Thanks LK..
1 person likes this
@sunflowergirl (3064)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Sep 11
a relationship without commitment is not a relationship at all...so my advice leave for your own betterment i am sure some one better will come along and clear all the hurt you are feeling.need to made hard decisons for your own betterment.
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
15 Sep 11
Hi sunflower, thanks, yes this is not a relationship because there is no commitment at all. and really i dont like either to enter in a relationship that has no commitment, i was just thinking that maybe it would help me to forget my ex easily. And i guess this kind of situation will not help me to forget him. I rather wait someone who is truly meant for me..As you say some one will come along my way.. thanks again for clearing my mind..
1 person likes this
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
14 Sep 11
Well I can say that it will never be a good relationship at all. Its only taking advantage and that is it. Tell me how long you would just play?? if your a female, it is not a good idea at all, nothing will be taken from the guy, but from your end, it does. Is that how bad you want to have someone, just to call yourself with someone, even if there is no commitment? Its like a drive test only,your engine and fuel is already consumed, but the driver is set off free.
If you just want to waste your time and effort then go ahead. It is still your decision. But since you ask advice here, then I already stated my opinion.
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
15 Sep 11
Hi strawberry, do i look like i was desperate to have someone? yeah maybe your right, i was really felt lonely and feeling that i need someone will divert my attention, and i know that it should not be. in this situation, its like a test if we can get along also and if we do have the same feelings for each other and if not then nothing to loose. I know its not the right thing to do, and i should not commit in this kind of relationship because i know in the end i am the one who fail in this test. Your advice is really a good help to clear my mind. thanks a lot..
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
It sounds like being part-time lovers, right? Sadly, but only guys benefit from this kind of set up. I know that women always fall for the guy even if they started out only as a no-commitment set up. It is hard for women eventually.
How long do you think can you hold on to such relationship? There is no assurance. It is just like making yourself available when you wanted.
Not a healthy relationship at all.
