How do you tell a nosey, disrespectful person to back the heck up. In a nice way

United States
September 24, 2011 6:54pm CST
So I'm currently living with a my sister in law and we share the garage which is located at the back of the house. However, what blows me away is that she has the tendency to go through my things. Like if that wasn't enough she also put's them out for sale when she has her yard sales! Then about a week ago whent out and noticed that my husbands San Francisco 49er jacket was outside. It must have been out for weeks becuase it already had mold. I don't want to start any problems with my brother but no matter how many times i tell her she seems to not give a damn. Now i don't now what to do without distroying my relationship with my brother. ?????
10 responses
@mammots (3271)
• Philippines
25 Sep 11
have you tried talking with your brother about his disrespectful wife? if your sister in law does not listen to you... i am sure she is going to listen to her husband. have a heart to heart talk with your brother about this problem and if the problem persist i think its time for you to look for a place of your own for your own peace of mind.
• United States
25 Sep 11
wow this is a hard one i am currently having to live with my parents and they are totally nosey i try to be a good daughter and respect their rules but my parents and i have two different ways of looking at things i have that problem with my mom going through my things and either throwing them away or getting rid of them without my permission totally ticks me off the best thing i can suggest is to move out and get your own space as soon as possable thats what im trying to do i keep a very close eye on all my things and try to keep them all in my room out of my moms way
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
25 Sep 11
Gee that is frustrating. I would think your Mom would let you care for your own things. Maybe you could talk to her and come to some agreement on handling your things.
@mellaw (84)
• Philippines
25 Sep 11
hello mylotters try to talk to your sister in law heart to heart till her what your feelings and then if she still have no respect of your stuff find another place to live,a place that far from them so you can have some privacy.
• United States
25 Sep 11
I have tried talking to her many times and she won't listen. But i do plan of moving, soon i hope.
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
25 Sep 11
Go all polite but insane with her :D change the key for the garage (or whatever) if she makes a big deal simply say well.. i lost the key. Learn how to utilize what space you have in YOUR room that YOU can have locked up. That space under the bed with the correct storage boxes (plastic bins with wheels are awesome for those spaces) fit more than dust mites lol. Also, do what she does, pick up random crap of hers and put it up for sale. If she dares to have a fit simply point out to her and your brother that if she does the same thing and has no problems why does she have a problem with you doing the same thing? Or say nothing at all and act as clueless and ditsy as her. At some point you will have to say or do something because your way clearly isn't working hon. I say it so harshly because i dealt with my share of overbearing i can do what i want with your stuff people. It reaches a point where YOU have to show them that you are not their nice sweet lil doormat they can step all over. Dude.. i was a doormat for 3 years before i grew something resembling a backbone. How long are you going to wait?
• United States
25 Sep 11
Thnx, i think i will take ur advise on the "i lost the key", and yes i am very tired of her crappy attitude. The next time i see her i won't hold back.
• United States
22 Nov 11
I think since you have already tried talking to your sister in law, you should go to your brother now. Tell him that she is disrespecting your privacy, her selling your stuff is completely wrong and you should not put up with it. Plus she ruined your husbands jacket! If you go to him with all this, he'll see it as being his job to stop her for you. I don't know how you put up with her doing that stuff you, I might have snapped at her myself, once she wouldn't listen to me asking nicely.
@Keola12 (717)
• United States
25 Sep 11
I think the best thing to do is to be blunt and direct with her, and tell her to stay the heck out of your belongings. Especially when she is rummaging through your things to see what she could sell for a quick buck at her yardsale. What she is doing is stealing from you. Her going through your things without telling or asking you and then selling your belongings without your consent is called stealing. You can't let her get away with this. It's clear she has no respect or regard for you, by her doing these terrible things. Tell her that she needs to show respect for you and your right to have your own things without having to worry about them disappearing while she sells them for her own financial gain.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
25 Sep 11
Good grief this is ridiculous. I understand not wanting to start anything with your brother, but his wife is really disrespecting you and that's just wrong. Maybe you could talk to him and see if he would help matters. I think if nothing else can be done, I would try to buy some lockable trunks and lock your things away.
@lampar (7597)
• United States
25 Sep 11
I am doubtful if you going to tell a nosey and disrepectful person to back off in a nice way is going to work anyway. If you want to tell someone with such a selfish behavior, chances are you have to tell her not in a nice way but rude and angry way before she will realize her own bad behavior. Good luck on that with your nice way! Pal....
@lampar (7597)
• United States
25 Sep 11
I am doubtful if you going to tell a nosey and disrepectful person to back off in a nice way is going to work anyway. If you want to tell someone with such a selfish behavior, chances are you have to tell her not in a nice way but rude and angry way before she will realize her own bad behavior. Good luck on that with your nice way! Pal....
@Judy890 (1633)
• United States
25 Sep 11
You tell her to stop touching your stuff and also talk to your brother and let him know this. She has no right to sale your stuff that is disrespectful there's no being nice in this situation you let her know if she does it again you will call the cops. If you talk to her in a nice way she might do it again. Don't be afraid to Yell.