Parent-children bonding time

By K31
Philippines
October 24, 2011 2:23am CST
I read in an article somewhere that a parent and child's relationship improved after the parent tried to understand her child's hobby and eventually, she got hooked into it and this became their bonding time. This "activity" that I'm referring to is being an Arashi fan. As a fan, I'm quite proud that such article appeared. I'm not sharing this because I'm an Arashian (well, that's part of this discussion) but my main point is the fact that the gap between parents and child can improve immensely if the parent "tried" to understand and learn what's their child's into these days. Their hobbies, activities, etc. Here's most post about the topic. Not a referral/ad site: http://kehimekawa.blogspot.com/2011/10/on-being-arashian.html
2 people like this
9 responses
24 Oct 11
i completely agree 100%! i think it would stand in a parents favour immensely if he or she were to take a more important role in their childrens lives! too many parents these days force their children into activities to get them "ahead" in life, or activities they undertook as a child themselves, but every child is an individual and although a product of their parents, will have different personality traits, and may not like the same things their parents did. if parents were able to actively be involved with their kids more and find out their likes and dislikes, it would stand in their favour, especially in later/adult life.. where it would be important to be friends.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
That's just so true. There are parents who are like "Been there done that" but they didn't take into consideration that the activities during their time is waaaaaay different from now. Compromise is the right word for this :)
27 Oct 11
true, compromise is the word for it.. but i think parents problems these days is they dont listen! little girls get put into things like ballet, and little boys into football etc.. but what if the little girl likes football? or if the little boy can dance? parents should wait and see what kind of traits their child shows, and nuture it :)
• Philippines
3 Nov 11
Exactly! Shoving what the parents think is right for the child might result to the exact opposite of what they want the outcome would be.
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Hi kei! I so agree to this. Parents could very well understand their kids if they just try to learn about their kids' interests and hobbies. Even if they know they won't like it, at least they tried first before nagging their kids about it. As an anime fan, this was my wish before but my mother never really tried. When I got addicted with Korean dramas she also scolded me for staying in front of the tv for long period of hours. She didn't try and watch any of what I was watching then. Now she's the one addicted to it but it's too late for bonding because I'm totally over K-dramas now.
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
I totally know what you mean! My mom used to scold me a lot when I sleep too late because of watching Arashi shows. She keeps saying things which (in some way) irritates me but eventually, I told her to watch some shows with me during our free time. Now, she watches some Arashi shows with me and she even knows who's who among the members Most parents think since they're "parents" their children should eventually follow whatever they say. They aren't aware that they're eventually pushing their children further and further away from them
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
I agree. The more parents nag their children without understanding them, the more they grew apart. You're lucky that did not happen between you and your parents. That's what's happened to me and my mother. We're really not close.
• Philippines
3 Nov 11
My mom is STILL a nag and will always be one. I think it somehow helped that I'm a bit stubborn when it comes to things I want. In the end, the checks out what I want without her realizing it. We had our issues but we DO try to settle it (if it's possible)
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
My kids loves music and that is our way of bonding with each other. My only daughter can play flute,sax,piano and guitar and has a good voice. My second son knows to play the drums and guitar also. My youngest is not fond of musical instrument but can sing very well. Sometimes they will play songs and record it and I am their critic and audience.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
That's just too great. It's wonderful to know that your children are all talented in music. Great to hear that you support them too What about you? Do you have an musical instrument which you can play?
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
I think agree to that article, that a parent and child's relationship improved after the parent tried to understand her child's hobby. What I see is that, if a parent is an open minded person, who will listen first to her child before giving some comments to what she saw, a child will not be scared to say what she is feeling or if she have done something wrong. A child has its own life, if she do something that you don't like, ask her why she did that and give time to listen to her. Right after then, let her know that you disagree to it and explain, so then a child will do something for it on her own way. But if the child will still do the thing that you disagree about give her time to understand to what do you mean, and keep reminding her for then she will know. Now, if what the child is doing, doesn't harm people or any living things and also make her happy, let her do the things, hobbies or activities that she like. Just go with her, remember that a parent is not to dictate but to support the child to the right things that she wants to do.
• Philippines
3 Nov 11
That's true. Instead of reprimanding your child's activities, why not learn it first and check what's in that activity that the kid's too into it. Parents are supposed to support and guide the children not mandate them on what path to take. Being open makes the child more comfortable on sharing his/her thoughts. That way communication is better.
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
24 Oct 11
parents and children relation is the ultimate in this universe, it will comes into all creatures...
• Philippines
3 Nov 11
I'm not too agreeable on this. There are animals who eat their own babies? Some leave their children as soon as their babies know how to swim/walk/crawl/etc. But then, I do agree that most parent-children relation is ultimate to most creatures :)
@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Though I am not good with music, I am trying my best to reach out to my children who are music enthusiasts. Like I help them find guitar chords in the internet and print it for their file. For my youngest, I make sure that I am with her during the angklong practise. We are very fortunate that the coach is allowing us to be inside the room while they are having their practise. Though I could not understand fully how to play those instrument, I am very proud and happy in listening to their music. In fact, I will be on leave from work on Wednesday just to watch my daughter play the instrument with her group.
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
That's a good thing. It's true that parents should at least know what their kids' are into and try to understand them. They might not like it but at least it lets the children know that their parents are interested in them. "Hands On" parents are rare to find these days because of heavy schedule. It's great that you get to see your daughter play
• India
24 Oct 11
Hi friend.... I do not have ant experience about this.. but i think you are correct in understanding about the bond... I think Understanding child's hobbies and interest helps us to be friendly with our children....
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
I'm not a mom/parent myself but I used to see a lot of my mom friends who say this that's why I also end up agreeing on that part. On the other hand, my mom tries to understand my hobbies and interests so, in one way or another, we have something to talk about
@djordan (37)
• United States
25 Oct 11
This is so true. I don't have kids but I have god children and neices and nephews. Their parents could never really understand why their kids get so excited when I come around and they always want to be around me. Part of the reason is that I did what they. My oldest god-son loves to play video games and throw the football, even though I am not big on video games at all I gave him that time. The girl's hobbies vary between reading, cooking, watching a tv program, coloring etc. I have no boundaries when it comes to them. Nothing is too girly for me to do especially when they open up to me and tell me about their day or what is going on with them. Sometimes I tell the parents thing they had no idea of. But I only tell them if I feel it is something they need to know about otherwise I keep it confidential and that trust and honesty is what a child needs to know they have with you.
@GemmaR (8526)
24 Oct 11
I think that one of the most important things once you're a parent is making sure that you spend a large amount of quality time with your family. Your child might not want to spend as much time with you during your teenage years, but this is just something that you have to live with and work through, and you should find that you are a stronger person as a result of this once your children are grown up and are willing to spend time with you again. You should try things that everybody will enjoy, and not simply stick to things like going shopping or going out for meals and things like that.