October 29, 2011 10:22am CST
An episode of my experience shared. First discussion under my pen name: c.j.Oliveros "Fairness is a task – not a choice." I came from a broken family. As the eldest of the seven, I feel - not pressured, but - obliged. Obliged to carry the responsibility of our deceased father (step) and secure the wellness of our ties. Obliged to strengthen our bonds and pursue living without fear of the future. But in most family - there is always someone who receives more attention from the parents. Someone who - somehow - entertains their eyes better than the other siblings. (I don't suppose you'd be too defensive and reprimand be about it! Peace out parents!) I'm not a parent yet, so the immensity of the commitment doesn't trouble my feelings at all. Though - I know the feeling of being discarded, rejected, and ignored. I always aspire something - and, desire a successful life for myself. But my legitimate passion in life doesn't please them so... it came to the point that my desires became the medium of my gap between me and my parent.(in this case my mother) They don't want me doing things other than what they think is best for me. My bother otherwise - not that I hate him - receives my parents blessing anything he wanted for himself. I'm truly happy for my brother; all I want is that... they'll see me too and notice my potentials. Even at the very LEAST. Just a glimpse. Just a drop of TRUST. I know what I want for myself, My passion is laid to me with clarity - in a silver platter taunting me and tame success and contentment for the rest of my years. I believe it with all my heart that it feels like exploding from the inside out. *Sigh. Thanks for reading.
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29 Oct 11
It's about me. I want to be a writer. A good writer. So - I keep it that I post my discussions with my heart. Thank you very much for the compliment henkiprananda. I will be very glad if you read my second post though.LOL ^^ Have a nice day!
30 Oct 11
I've seen this in families as well. The younger one for example can get so much more attention than the firsts. This I think does not mean that all children are not loved though treated differently. I've watched friends, a large family treat their children differently but then all the children were different. They were individuals one wanted to have the spotlight shown while another was always quietly in the background but no less a member of the group.
30 Oct 11
I see your point Bluedoll. Thank you very much for this response. I quite understand it right now, the differences you said. I may be treated differently. Only in the way ironic to my expectations. I'm well praying that they'll understand me soon. And that my family will trust me on the things I want for my life.
30 Oct 11
I am sure they will because love in families will always find a way. Communication is one way of complimenting understandings but so are actions I think too. When we see something happening then that tells the story true. It all takes time, why, just as here in mylot where we can communicate online. November is "novel writing month" http://nanowrimo.org and I will be writing 50,000 words starting soon that will go on to paper. It may not be the best book out there for I am but an aspiring writer but I just want to do it.