Am I a true friend?

November 7, 2011 4:39am CST
So, there's this one time, I had lost a friend. It was due to a quarrel about us being together. It seems that she had fallen in love with me; but unfortunately, I had to deny her for various reasons. 1.) I wasn't really ready for a relationship. The main thing here as to why I didn't want to go forward towards a relationship was because I was still unsure of what I felt about her. I had this 50:50 type of feeling. I loved her but I was still not sure. I didn't want to force it straight. 2.) I didn't want to hurt her. She was an important friend for me. Hurting her means hurting myself. Some people said that I'm simply being selfish and just wanted to save myself. All I did was agree. I didn't want to tell them my true intentions. Chances of it being revealed to her and adding it to her hopes might hurt her even more. 3.) I'm not capable. I was never the decision-maker. I was never the perfect guy. I know she might argue about this if ever she reads this. Perfection had always had a huge definition. 4.) I didn't want to hinder her progress. Relationships had always been a two-way effort. She is the type of girl who can achieve many great things. If I limit her by even a little, I know I'll regret it in the end. 5.) Lastly, I'm the type of person who doesn't want to be attached to obligations. As I had said, I wasn't ready for it. Relationships need time. I don't think I could give her more time that what I gave her before. I never told her those reasons. I didn't want her to know that she had a chance with me despite the fact that I really did care. I was satisfied becoming the villain instead of being the useless ally. As of now, I think she's been able to move on with her life. I do have regrets. In fact, I had days which I really cried and had days when I really want to tell her all this. In the end, whenever I meet her, I'd just flash a smile though she never smiles back. Did I do the right thing? Or was I really that stupid as she said before?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@min8esign (168)
• Indonesia
28 Dec 11
When friendship turned into love relationships then there must be sacrificed, the feelings and friendship itself. especially if we do not want it. I personally had experienced before, and I make decisions just like you did, because I know that love can not be imposed. In my opinion. sometimes become friends it's better if it should become lovers.
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
Another girl? You love denying them huh. Good job though now I'm getting your pointless point. :)
@airkulet (2705)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
That was a good decision made by you. Maybe she took advantage of your friendship and hoping for the two you to became lovers too.
@Mashnn (4503)
7 Nov 11
I think this was the best decision you made. There is no point of starting a relationship yet deep inside, you know it is going nowhere. If people were ready to do what you did, then there would be less heart broken men and women which could be better for everyone.