do you find it hard to start a conversation sometimes

@hotsummer (10449)
Philippines
November 29, 2011 8:57pm CST
i am not good at keeping a conversation or just even starting a conversation. some people are very good at this or maybe a lot of people do but i am not one of them. i do often wish that i have something to talk about. if i am not that kind of person i would have gained more friends before. that is what i think is lacking in my life that is why i do lack of friends. maybe because i am not confident about myself or too afraid to talk for some reasons that i was not able to start a conversation even if i wanted to start a conversation with another person.
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
30 Nov 11
You have no problem starting them here so what is wrong in your real life. I find that you have everything required to start a conversation with anyone. I don't know if you should feel like you don't.
@hotsummer (10449)
• Philippines
30 Nov 11
that is the problem . it is not hard something here because people don't see. it is hard when we talk in real life .
@lupeng (82)
• China
1 Dec 11
yeah,me too. i always did't know to talk with the stanger, especially the old people or middle-aged people. without the common topic ,is really a hard work to do. because my job's other part to become the tour guide lead the guests to other place. so i should to talk with them on the train or the plant. sometimes ,i can meet the young people have a lot of topic to share. but when i meet the middle aged people i did't know how to started it.
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
I have the same problem. Sometimes even if somebody approaches me them start the conversation, I tend to kill it. I mean the conversation become dull because I don't talk much.
@menzis00 (273)
30 Nov 11
I can sometimes start a conversation, but usually I have some patterns I follow in case I ran out of subjects. Of course the best is when the conversation flows naturally. It's best to talk to somebody you know good yet isn't your best friend, because with best friends silence isn't awkward, and with persons you are good with, or maybe if you went with your crush for a drink and you have no idea what to ask her, try to find something you two have in common, that will get the conversation running in a good direction.
@nezavisima (7417)
• Bulgaria
30 Nov 11
Oh but you can start a conversation with someone as long as you want and desire. I think I just might start to question how is the weather or very hot today. for me conversing is very easy do not know why but I can always talk to everyone. maybe because I was such a sign or just have an open person. nice day!
• India
30 Nov 11
This is the problems mostly faced by all the peoples. So there is no need to shame of it. Since you are lacking in this , you can read many grammer books and many speeches given by world leaders, by which you can get the idea of making good sentence pattern. Practice the grammar book every day, and listen to many conversation from radios, u can gradually build your conversation skills.
@tamirs (1808)
• Philippines
30 Nov 11
Most of the time,yes.I don't force my self too start a discussion if i don't feel like it or i have nothing to say.If i don't have the like to do it,i just find time to answer on some discussion and try to rest.Sometimes our mind cant work properly if it is over-drained from work..
@Triple0 (1907)
• Australia
30 Nov 11
I'm just like you! I have difficulties maintaining an interesting conversation and when it does get a little quiet and awkward, I just get all anxious that this person doesn't like me because I'm boring or can't keep a conversation! Most of my friends are very out going and can basically talk to anyone. I envy them so much, one friend in particular can approach anyone and talk to them as if she knew them since birth or something She's very confident and doesn't get scared easily which is me. I get paranoid and feel intimidated when I have to talk to someone who I don't really know. That's why I hate going out with strangers who are my friend's friends. I need to time to feel more comfortable to a person and eventually, I'll open up a bit more and then start better conversations because I know I won't offend the person. I'm just scared of making a fool out of myself or getting the other person offended. But I tend to start quite simple conversations for start and start getting sarcastic for a few laughs or jokes here and there. I don't mind silent company either. You don't need to fret.
@neelia_lyn (2017)
• Philippines
30 Nov 11
Hi hotsummer! At least we have something in common :D I, too, am not a good conversationalist even if I have some things I wanted to talk about. I am a quiet type person, but not necessarily shy. I don't start conversations when I am in a group, but I join whenever the conversation suits me or if I wanted to. Of course, I like having conversations mostly people I'm comfortable with. Cheers... don't force yourself to be like the others, just be yourself. What there is to improve, improve it. Good day to yah!
@Iemon1 (123)
• Singapore
30 Nov 11
I find it hard too. This is because im probably quiet by nature
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
30 Nov 11
Hi,i think lots of people encounter such problems: don't know how to begin a conversation with strangers or not good at make conversations run smoothly and happily. As you said, lack of confidence is one of the reasons to prevent conversations. Sometimes i think it also needs practice. There are so many stories about a shy person became a very successful speakers after practicing. It also needs some skills. Such as, you should know the person you are talking to like what, is good at what. Because all people like hear and talk about what they like or proud of. For example, talk about her kids with a mother, talk about clothes with a young lady who likes very much shopping.
@curmont (343)
• United States
30 Nov 11
The only conversational problems I seem to have is that I often find I am talking to myself. By this I mean I have a tendency to take over a conversation because once I get going boy oh boy can I talk. Sometimes I think this can be as big a problem as not talking at all because I do know how annoying it can be when people talk to much but I just can't help it I have a lot to say. Perhaps this is why my husband does not mind that I spend so many hours a day online in forums such as these, it gives me an outlet for all my words and thoughts without driving him crazy. It seems to me you have some success with holding conversations since you have made it to nearly 3500 of them here on mylot. Perhaps you can use some of the topics you have discussed her to strike up conversations with potential friends. If all else fails you can always come talk to your mylot friends we always have something to say even if you don't the conversation will never get dull or boring.
@dodo19 (33316)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
30 Nov 11
I do find it difficult to hold a conversation sometimes. I don't always have an easy time doing it, for one reason or another. For one reason or another, I just have nothing to say, or anything interesting to say. This doesn't really help my case much. I wish I had an easier time, and I certainly am trying to work on my conversation skills, but it's not really easy. Hopefully, things will change.