Just about over the holidays ...
By SandeeE
@SandeeE (346)
United States
December 22, 2011 7:51pm CST
Anyone ever just feel like you don't fit in w/your family?
I am 35 and never have felt like I belonged. We just don't seem one in the same or like we do come from the same blood. Even my step family treats me different then my other biological family members.
Getting together for the holidays is hard dealing with this as it takes away from the joy of the holidays. Several times I've asked or suggested to have family friends we have known our entire lives to come and enjoy a meal or hang out time during the holidays and the make me feel like I'm retarded. Like how dare I suggest someone else come to a "FAMILY" affair. I've even had people that had NO ONe to spend the holidays with and they still wouldnt let them come so I had to choose between the friend or the family. I choose my friend. I had too. I've had holidays my family made me feel like I was all alone and great friends took me in. I just don't get it though. I mean everyone deserves a good christmas and sometimes we need to open our hearts and homes to other's in order to share in our christmas to make them have a great holiday too. Guess my family will never understand that and it really bums me out. ; [
1 person likes this
4 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
The way i see it my friend, your family just want the occasion to be celebrated by the family members only.
Perhaps you should understand that it's what they want and might as well conform with them. Anyway, you can enjoy the occasion later with your friends, because they themselves has their own family to enjoy the occasion with.
As to those other less fortunate people, don't insist in letting them join. Maybe you can set aside other time for them.
@SandeeE (346)
• United States
23 Dec 11
I'm 35 so I've conformed many times over the last 35 years and three times in those years they couldnt allow someone in to share in the holiday spirit. I've even suggested us doing a charity for the holidays and everyone pitching into pay for a dinner and presents for a less unfortunate family. They again said that Charity starts at home. Which I do understand but come on now.
My Aunt & cuzin have been family to us all my life. It's just the two of them as my Uncle and Aunt are divorced. Infact my Uncle (My dad's best friend) has been there on christmas with us or thanksgiving but he was invited by my dad of course. So why my Auntie and Cousin wouldnt be welcome GOD ONLY know's. Riduculous.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
Yes, my friend, indeed Charity should begin at home. Maybe , not all of them can afford what you are suggesting such as giving present for the fortunate family, that's why they are against it. They might be thinking that instead , give them to those family members who are also less fortunate.
But since you are 35, then perhaps you can opt not to attend and instead enjoy it on your own.
@prospectboy (754)
• United States
23 Dec 11
I can definitely relate to you feeling like you don't fit in with your family. Not for the same reasons as you do though. My family wouldn't mind one of my friends coming to eat for Christmas or anything of that nature. However, I feel like I'm different from my family when it comes to my views on things. For example, the majority of the people in my family like to gossip and talk about other people constantly. I'm not like that at all, and when I call them out on it, they don't be trying to listen to me. I actually spend a lot of time to myself because I don't always like being around my people. As I've gotten older I feel like I'm cut from a different cloth when it comes to them. I love them very much, but I'm just different from them. I can totally relate to you though SandeeE.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
23 Dec 11
Friends are the family you choose. That has proven to be the case time and time again in our household. Both myself and my husband have family members that don't appear too interested in spending a lot of time with us. However our "friends" have made us part of their family celebrations all the time. We are aunt & uncle to their children as they are to ours! Not to mention god parents. Don't let it bum you out. Just be happy around the people who are glad to have you there.
@AndrewFreyne (6281)
• United Kingdom
23 Dec 11
Yes, that's exactly me and we are virtually the same age, I'm thirty-six. I spend Christmas with my friend or rather he comes over and this time I'm spending Christmas with his family which is a new situation for me. I normally spend Christmas alone and I'm used to that. There were serious family issues in the past and well time passes and you fall into this niche and that's what has happened to me.
I'm ok about things and I enjoy the television around this time most notably the movies even though a lot of them are repeats. All said and done I hope you have a lovely Christmas and don't forget your my lot family here:) Andrew
