... giving back to our parents!
By Lhenni
@Lhenni (1242)
Philippines
January 3, 2012 3:18am CST
I have a brother working abroad for over a year now. I let him go to school in his college for 5 years and I continue supporting him though I decided to have a family of my own then. He got a diploma in BS Electrical Engineering... thanks to me.
My parents can't support his college so giving back to my parents... I supported him. What I'm expecting in return is,... he should give back (though not asking) to my parents too (not to me). He's still single anyway and very carefree. He should give some allowances to our parents knowing that they have no source of income now. My mother had retired to her job and what she got as her retirement money was nearly gone.
Am I too demanding to my brother if I ask him to? I just thought that it's great if he may helped our parents financially now!
1 person likes this
8 responses
@JohnRok1 (2051)
•
4 Jan 12
He's working abroad. Unless you tell him of the situation, he's going to conceive it as being just like it was when he left. And you can bet your bottom dollar his parents would almost die rather than ask him for money. They certainly wouldn't want him to give more than the absolute minimum, provided he was responsible with the rest of his money. Perhaps he should send all he can spare, so that when he gets more responsibilities and is more responsible, the money is, eventually, there for him?
@JohnRok1 (2051)
•
31 Jan 12
It occurs to me that one thing that may have put him off sending money back is the amount the banks cream off. Has he worked out good way of minimizing that? From the little I've observed in the situations I've encountered, it seems better to send more at a time, in order to minimize the number of transactions. Is there a particular agency he can use that's reliable and will offer the service at reasonable charge (like, for Eastern European countries, though probably not Philippines, Opal Transfer)?
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
Nope I don't think that is demanding at all. You have the right to at least suggest it to him. Some parents would not want to oblige their kids once they graduated. It is our responsibility to give something back to them and help them financially. No need to wait for our parents to ask. I do hope your brother would realize it even if it's not your parents who supported him on his study, they are still his parents.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
That's what I'm waiting enelym,... him to realize that our parents needs help now. And initiate the support financially. I think I should asked him now.
In my status now, I'm still helping my parents but not like when I'm single. I helped them, give them some money I saved from my allowance that hubby gives for our family *sigh! I just don't let hubby knew this. When I'm working, I gave them allowance hubby knows. Not this time that i'm not working... It's quite hard wanting to help them but no source *LOl... My brother should be the one thinking my way! Cheers!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
That's really hard. Coz you already have a family to take care of support too, and it's your brother's turn now. He may feel that you still can handle all these things. Well I do hope you can tell it to him. Some guys needs to be pushed
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
I think, you have every right to ask your brother that. Just do it in a loving manner and explain to him the situation of your parents.
I am sure he will give them support.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
I'm just wondering why I need to ask him this... he should help though not asking! Our parents been good to us when way back and until now.
Well, in his case that don't initiate... yes, I will ask him support for our parents in a loving manner SIMPLYD *LOL!
@keihimekawa (2009)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
I think you do have the right to ask that. I'm also giving some amount to my parents to help finance our expenses but they're not asking me too. I'm just showing my gratitude towards them. He's single so I think he needs to have a sense of responsibility in helping out with some expenses. Parents might not ask for it but personally, I think it's a child's responsibility to help their parents' out in every way they can.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Hi areskya! With regards to my brother's respect and love to our parents, I think, he has it. Whenever he's in our country for vacation, he's the one paying household bills of our parents (he's still living with them), groceries... and all the mindful thing inside their house. He used to have all our family to have bonding moments... swimming, get-together party sort of reunion. What I'm wondering is, he's not giving some when working overseas... maybe because my mother was then working... but not now!
As I recall, he had the chance to give money to my mother though overseas on our mother's birthday only... nothing follows!
Yes, I think he needs to understand our parents situation now... thanks for the word!
@itsme_chin (44)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
I understand where you're coming from Lhenni. You want your brother to have the heart to support your parents on his own freewill, just like what you did to him when he was still studying. Well what I can say is, not everyone is mindful about this giving back thing. If you really think that your ma and pa badly need some financial help, I suggest you tell it straight to your brother's face. Who knows he isn't just aware of the situation.. Goodluck!
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Your point made me realize something! Yes, maybe my brother does not aware of our parents situation.... My mother is still working when he decided to work overseas... he's not here anymore when my mother had retired.
I should aware him now that our parents has no source of income and need their children's help!
Thanks...
@cotruelove (1016)
• Denver, Colorado
3 Jan 12
Families always need to talk about how to take care of their parents when parents retire, money runs out, sickness sets in, or many other things that can and frequently do happen. I would talk to my brother about how he, like yourself, intends to help with your parents. I went through it with my brother. There are more things than money to be considered and better to plan ahead than have something happen and have no plan at all. Like what are you going to do if they get ill and need someone to take care of them?
I wouldn't directly ask him to help, just tell him what will happen if they run out of money. It is never easy when parents retire and need assistance, but families should prepare for it in advance. Good luck!
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
Hello Lhenni,
Sorry but, your brother doesn't deserve your help.
You are not asking for anything in return, but he is not helping your parents.
I don't know what kind of a son/brother he is.
After all,if not because of you, he cannot reach where he is right now.
So bad-...I am really sorry, but I hate thinking how he behaves so badly.
You have all the right to ask and it is his duty to help your parents as well.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
I just don't know what happened to his values now. As I recall him, when he's in our guidance, he's so family-oriented. He's our youngest and 9 years younger than me. He's so close to his nieces and nephews whenever he's here in the country. And every summer when still studying, he's the one who helped me caring for my kids at home. He's been my kids "yayo" (female as yaya *LOL)... onething I recall too was, he's got a lot of friends but he don't smoke, an occasional drinker... he's into sports... darts, basketball, ping-pong!
I really don't know why was he so insensitive now. I'm preparing for a heart-to-heart chat to him soon *sigh!
