I thought she will appreciate what I did but I am wrong...

Philippines
January 5, 2012 5:26pm CST
I was away for five years from our home due to my work. As I need to work which was very far from our home. During those years, whenever I do telephone calls, my mom always excited to talk to me. As her voice sounds like she wants me to be back home soon. Remembering one of those years that she was somehow upset when she found out that I will not have my Christmas vacation. That she asked me why I was not able to have that schedule vacation. That she always wants me to be here every year. With what I have seen and hears from my mom, I thought she really wants me to go back home. That, situation leads me to decide and have my career redirection. That I just decided to resign from my work to be back home again. That I decided to have my work here at home. But, what I have done is completely wrong. That when I came back since the first day, she always raises her voice asking me, "why I have resigned". Asking me, "when you will leave again and look for another work". Asking me, "is there a chance that your previous boss will hire you again"? And a lot more, thus this space will not be enough for me to write all questions she is throwing to me everyday. As in everyday. Thus, it causes my tears to go down automatically. I thought she will appreciate what I did. Thinking she will give her support to my career redirection. Having in mind that she will be glad that I am doing my work at home. But, all of these assumption that I have thinked was all in vain. That she never, never given her appreciation since I came back. So, what I did is completely wrong.
2 people like this
6 responses
squallming
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 12
Perhaps your mother was being concern about your future or career. I'm not sure how much you actually earn now from home. But I think your previous career should have higher income. I believe she does misses you and loved you, but she was not expecting that you would resign your job and come back home. She is more like expecting you to come back once in a while to visit her while having a good career. So what have you been working before coming back home and now? Maybe you can get some clue there.
1 person likes this
airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
I really do not know now what to think. As my mind was already full thinking about different things. One thing will surely work out, that is, when I will move out from here. Waiting for the day and time to happen.
1 person likes this
lilaclady
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
5 Jan 12
I think this is a situation that maybe you should have had a meeting with your mum, sit down and talk about all the possibilities first, just to find out what was going to please you both..it does seem unusual for a mother not to want her daughter close by her, I hope things work out for you...
1 person likes this
airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
I am really hoping that things will work between me and my mom. But, I already tried and give in my best shot. However, things were still the same. I guess, I should really move out from here. Perhaps, she will again see the difference and learn to appreciate me. As my mom is not the typical type, wherein, she will weight the situation.
1 person likes this
scheng1
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
6 Jan 12
Hi Airasheila, I think you do not think about what your mother really wants before you quit and return home. Your mother probably enjoys her freedom since you are not at home. She probably has a good time boasting to all the neighbors about how much money you have made, and how proud of you she is. Now that you suddenly quit, and return home, she starts to worry about the real reason for leaving. Her friends and neighbors may add oil to the fire, saying things like you are being forced to quit or have been terminated from service. i think all those words or even "knowing" looks may frustrate your mother. She hopes that you can get a good job soon, and even if you move away from her for another five years, she is happy with the arrangement. I think you have made a mistake common to everyone. You assume you know what your mother wants. You never bother to look at things from her perspective.
1 person likes this
neelia_lyn
@neelia_lyn (2003)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
I think your mother appreciated you having a job or career especially that you had it for 5 years and she's just sad or maybe disappointed about you having to resign. You could have scheduled vacations to visit her but not necessarily resign just to be with her. But anyway, since you're there already with your mom, maybe you should have a nice, long talk with her. She's your mother and she would understand, unless she really doesn't want you hanging around. Good luck and I hope everything will be resolved. Cheers!
1 person likes this
airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
I just can't really understand. That before she have asked me why I need to work afar wherein I can work here with them. Then now that I came back and trying to work here, she is now telling me, when will I leave again for work. Its just, I don't know what to do now. I cannot determine what she really wants. Yes, she is my mom but she is not the typical one that will really understand you and support you in your dreams and ambitions. Thus, I am not saying she is not a good mom, hence, she is just listening to her own words and not accepting any other else words.
1 person likes this
enelym001
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
I feel for you I can feel how much you're hurt and sad being at home. Hmmmn... I just couldn't believe why your mom is saying those hurtful words to you. Maybe, just maybe... I was thinking you're not contributing much like before? I mean, financially... she might be getting a good amount from you before. While, now you working at home means you have to give her only enough of your earnings, no extras. I am not sure if this is the reason... coz if not, I can't think of anything else. Hope you'll feel loved by your mom again.
airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
hi there enelym001, i guess you are right. this is all about the money that i previously given to my mom. as before, i used to give her big amounts of money out from my salary. and slowly, i was not able to do it since the income that i am receiving from my online job is not too big. although i am doing pretty good online but the amount that i am getting via online cannot be compare during the time that i was on the tract. wow, a pity on me, i was appreciated during the time that i have all the means and the money but since i don't have too much money, well, this is the consequence.
Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
tsk, sounds really bad. It wasn't a wise decision. If her missing was the only reason you went back, then that really is a shame. Career re-direction? Do you mean like a home business? I don't see anything wrong with that since this is what you wanted to do. Lesson learned: don't sacrifice too much for other people's pleasure. You are bound to regret it when they change their minds.
airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
Well you are absolutely right with your statement regarding the lesson learned. That do not sacrifice too much for others people pleasure. Wherein at the end, you might be in the middle of a troubled thing. Yes, the career redirection that I have mentioned was building a home business. But, it seems like I have done the wrong decision.
airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Hello Aja103654, Indeed. This is a big big challenge for me. Looks like I am facing a tough one. Hence I really need a moral support from here.
Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Since you are already in that situation, might as well make the most from it? Pursue that home business, show your mother that you have made the right decision. Don't back down. This is a challenge.