How would you know that you are dealing with an honest person?

Philippines
January 7, 2012 11:03pm CST
I am an entrepreneur. I have met and been dealing to different kinds of people. In my entire year of doing and managing a business, I've met people coming back to the store after an hour or two, claiming that they've received inadequate change. Sometimes, after raising some questions for me to make sure if the customer is telling the truth or lying, I would just accept the mistake and give the missing money. But there were times too that I chose to stand to what my intuition has been telling me, though they are saying that, "the customer should always be right". Most of them seem so right, communicative, determined and lastly, mad. Honestly, you would feel self-doubt if you are going to meet them...I just prayed it to our God (YHWH), the all-seeing and all-knowing One, to forgive me if I made a wrong decision or, help these kind of people to choose what is good and right. How would you know, if you were in my shoes, that you are dealing with an honest person?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@himzey (1321)
• India
8 Jan 12
The way they communicate is the best way to differentiate a honest individual and a dishonest one. If he's being straight forward and his excitement level is not too high while he's communicating then he's honest. Further if you throw a sudden question at him then the time it takes for him to response, the kind of response he gives; whether he's to the point or trying to make you fool, and specially the manner in which he replies; whether he is hesitant or not willing to share complete information, all these are to be observed while judging someone's honesty. Though it works most of the time but there is no guarantee. You may be wrong at times when your subject its in a bit off mood and is getting frequently annoyed with the questions being thrown at him.
@himzey (1321)
• India
8 Jan 12
I thought about suggesting a lie-detector machine but I guess that wouldn't be conventional.. lol.. :D
@himzey (1321)
• India
8 Jan 12
Yeah .. I agree.. Thats the reason I mentioned that there's no guarantee to it. Mistakes happen. But still if a nervous one tries to report about the something, he'd try to do it in most polite and soft way, that too keeping his tone pretty low and his primary concern would be to know whether something can be done about it or not; rather than "..I want it replaced now ... or ...you guys tricked me...". Well.. to err is human.. and those who can withstand the whole thing can be caught by their actions when they are alone. Tell them to wait for a while while you go and check, leave them alone for a while and observe their activities from a distance. At some point you'll get a hint that this guy is trying to cheat.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Yes, it might be true for some people but there are some that are nervous or not used to the kind of exchanging words, that could be and mistakenly addressed as a liar...And, there are some also that could be able to withstand the whole thing even that particular person isn't telling the truth, right?
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
I think the person are honest is there is proof.But i can't tell how can i know it . And i say that not all costumers are always right ,because they can be wrong on what they doing . Next time, i think you have to be careful about it.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Yes true you are right to that,and always to careful on that and especial on the money ,because you may give more change or less.. and also about money they maybe give you fake or etc,
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
If you give more, most of them they're thinking of not giving it back. Though some has been touched by the law of YHWH and been practicing it. A lot of people has no idea of how and what struggle an entrepreneur has been facing everyday. They thought, what we wanted is just a high profit. But the fact, we are also thinking what to give to them in a best quality but affordable price.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
If you are in a business, being careful is what always in your mind especially if you've been experiencing things you thought wouldn't happen. Day by day, you will learn things that will help you more aware about the business you are in. Thanks befriendwithme for your honesty and your concern. :)
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
8 Jan 12
No one can really be sure, as dishonest people are very clever sometimes but just a few weeks ago I went with a friend to a shop because she was short changed $10, I told her they are not going to admit that but to our surprise they had a little camera above the register and with the receipt and the playback of what was on the camera she got her $10 back with an apology, it seems at the time someone elsr was speaking to the girl at the same time she was serving my friend and she was distracted and on the film it was clear there was no 410 note handed back to my friend....I hope it all works out for you because you sound like a good person but there are many dishonest people on both sides of the counter.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Thank you Lilaclady for sharing what you and your friend had experienced a few weeks ago. Good thing the store has a camera. But what if it's just between you and the customer? Since there are a lot of people come and go, buying or just inquiring, would you still trust your instinct or follow what I have just quoted that, "the customers should always be right". You are definitely true about dishonest people on both sides of the counter. I just hope that people would choose to learn to do what is right for themselves as well as for others...
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
8 Jan 12
Do you have receipts and record of your register, I know shops here can check their register records to see if they are short or over in takings, good record keeping could be the answer...
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
No, we are just a small business and not using any cash registry. We are just adding all the sales each day. Maybe if it is a grocery store where all items must be recorder.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
It's really difficult to determine if a person is honest, unless you have dealt with him for a long time already. I think , every time you give a change to a person, you should let them count the change before they leave the counter. That way, your change can be affirmed if correct or not, right away and do the necessary correction.
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Yes you are correct with that. It should be our responsibility as a buyer and a seller and yet, still we often neglect it.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
We wouldn't know it. It's really difficult to tell unless we can see rewind what has happened. You might think about installing a surveillance cam but that won't work either because it would be pretty tough to clearly see it.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Yes, just what we saw when playing it back in television. Unless, if it's installed near or you have a very expensive one that could be able to give you a high quality video. Anyway, for a small business, it's not practical to install it.
• United States
8 Jan 12
This is a tough one. I think the best thing to do is look them in their eyes while they are explaining to you what has happened. If they are looking directly at you while they tell you the story, you should be fine. However, if they are turning their head, looking down, rubbing their face or something like that, they are probably dishonest. Study up on body language.. will help you be able to tell the difference.
@himzey (1321)
• India
8 Jan 12
Yeah, thats one of the best methods to judge a man's honesty. Eyes don't lie. Nobody can make eye contact for a long time while they are lying unless they are dam brilliant in acting or telling lies. Its just the fear of getting caught that easily pops up in the eyes of a lier.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Actually I have applied that already but it seems that she's good at lying. She even had an audience who bought the same product from us at the same time. She's even pointing that the other buyer had a problem too but when I asked the person she's kind a ok and hesitant to get involved with it. It took sometime for me to decide whether I would believe in her or to myself by conversing with her while weighing her answers. I listened carefully to her story from the time she left our store, the lapse of time, and the time she came back. Likewise, not that I wanted more her money than giving it back just to gain more income (I wouldn't do that). It's just really hard especially if you could see her determination but, I felt and noticed that there is something wrong with her statement that made it obvious that she's not telling the truth...That maybe, she mistakenly used some of it or had lost it along the way. But anyway, when you are encountering situation like this, you can't help but doubt yourself too unless there is a camera viewing the entire event.
@bloggeroo (2167)
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
There are some outward signs of lying that are commonly known. One is the tendency of the speaker to touch some part of his/her face esp. the mouth. An involuntary gesture that contradicts what the person is saying is another sign. And some acts of anger are meant to distract you from an ongoing scam or an exaggeration. Anyway, honesty should be less of an issue in business. There should be policies to deal with errors and customer complaints. If you are regularly getting complaints about inadequate change, it may be a sign of something wrong in the process. If you treat your business as an interaction of various systems, you will better find solutions to your problems without being bothered by morality issues.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Yes there are outward signs to look up too. But you should be a good one with this because there are a lot of people who are interested in learning how to be professional in deceiving the innocent one. Usually we are used to some obvious and learned (from others) signs but, they too, are not in the process of laying down and do the same act/style, hoping for another successful catch... With regards to regularity of complaints of one's store, if it's really happening (inadequate change), it should be dealt accordingly. They could be used it against you, to regularly complain for a lack of change. I will be embarrassed if I am the owner of it. :), On the other hand, if you are too good to be true, even it happened once and you accepted the mistake easily just to avoid the confrontation, they will come back again. Thanks Bloggeroo for another insight!
@francesca5 (1344)
8 Jan 12
if this is happening frequently maybe you should change your procedures. if you took just a little bit longer handing over change, and getting the customer to check it too, then you would not make so many mistakes, if you are, and the customer would be aware that you are asking them to check too. obviously that depends on how many transactions you have, and if you can afford the extra time, but this does seem to be happening a lot, and the problem is you can't really tell whether people are telling the truth or not, unless you know them well. people who don't make eye contact can be shifty, but they can also just be shy and honest. i find that i forget things when i work on auto pilot, and so i have to actively register in my mind that i have done something that i do routinely, so i remember i have done it. if you have the time try to create a process when handing over change that means that you have properly checked it is the right amount, and then you should actually remember whether or not they are telling the truth. switch from auto pilot to conscious remembering.
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
Yes francesca5, it depends on how busy I was that particular day. When that happened, she (with her companion that I thought she doesn't know but, later on admitted that they knew each other), they were only the customers I have entertained. As what I have stated on the above discussions, I tried to weigh down her answers while rewinding the scence registered in my brain. Though she's determined and convincing that very moment, I have seen and noticed something that made me decide not to listen to her drama. Thanks for your thought, francesca5!