...upon placing blame

Philippines
January 15, 2012 10:35pm CST
Seriously, I don't get people sometimes but mostly adults (even though I am an adult myself.) I was having a good break form doing projects, chores and otehr personal things. I even got to enjoy watching a movie as a part of a break. However, my sibling did a stupid thing and somewhat messes everything up. Turn out that someone left the fire in the stove open. It made one of our cooking utensils burn to almost unusable. The thing that really got into me was that my sibling was to blame and I got the sermon in a beautiful morning after I had a blissful sleep in weeks. After the accusatory sermon (where I told I was already sleeping and therefore not guilty of the burning act) I got my coffee while still being annoyed. Another relative confronted me about the same issue and my annoyance turned into anger. Heated words were exchanged and I decided to bolt out of the house before I could do anything more...damage. I decided to stay in my friend's house for the day and when I came back, we not speaking to each other. The only thing that I don't get is why people always want to place blame in general and not for a specific perosn. I try to do almost everything right and I still get blamed. It's hard enough to rise to the expectation but getting blamed for the wrong reason for me is not justifiable. They think I always do the mistakes and I never learn from them, which is unfair. I own to my mistakes but it's not fair of being accused even after offering an explanation. This always happens, and frankly, it's tiring - to understand, explain and wait for the idea to sink in. I don't know what to think anymore. Sometimes, I feel that they just want to blame me for everything.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
I don't know if there is other issues in your family that may trigger your anger or that you feel that way. For me as a parent, I would like everybody to be responsible in the safety of the family members and the house. Maybe you we're too engrossed with your break that you did not feel that something bad is happening in the kitchen. What could be just a reminder might turn out to be a ranting or blaming for you because at that time you also have a high temper. Please be considerate, do not turn this simple argument to a big problem causing the not talking within the family. Remember that no matter what will happen, you cannot turn to other person but only your family. If at this time, there is no sense in pointing who is to be blame... just be happy that everyone is safe.
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
It's good to see this issue form a parent's perspective. As an offspring, I tend to think only in my perspective and I could only hazard a guess on what thoughts are floating in my parents' minds. I'll try to take your advice and perhaps distraction and a good vacation.
@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
17 Jan 12
Glad that you appreciate my advice Jeanneyvonne... I hope that things will get better sooner.
@sumatix (258)
• United Arab Emirates
16 Jan 12
I think you have done right by confronting that relative of yours coz i have seen if you keep mum and dont say anything even if you are not guilty people just go on taking you for granted and their mouth really keeps on widing up..Now that you have given back they gonna think twice next time that way may be you will be badmouthed but you are going to gain your mental peace which i think i would have lost if i was in this situation and i wouldn't have given back...
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
Thanks. I think that space and going away is one of the best methods in these kind of situation. Needing space is not cowardly act but trying to put things in perspective. I'm glad that my friend was willing to lend me his space for the time being or whenever I feel like going home away form home. I wish that I can get a good perspective over this and a good mental relaxation.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
23 Jan 12
Sometimes people just like to rather send blame right to the nearest target, to find some kind of reasoning. No matter how wrong it is. It seems to be what they think is going to be the easiest target to say the very least when you think about. And obviously when you don't normally do anything, you're going to get it harder sometimes than someone who had a history of doing bad things. It is not right, but there are just many times where people just like to throw the blame. They are rather going to rather just send the blame a lot of the time. We all make mistakes and those are enough to deal with. Dealing with the mistakes that we do not make is rather frustrating to say the very least and it is extremely agitating to say the least.
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
That is not right, maybe before having again to blame you if that happens again, I think you need to exit right away to prevent arguments. So that others in the house will be put to blame.
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
17 Jan 12
Would it be possible to get a place of your own? If so, you might consider moving out.