Of apologies or pain
January 20, 2012 10:07am CST
I wonder: Is the sincerity of the apology directly proportional to the healing of the pain or hurt? I mean, if somebody hurt you, does the pain heal faster or easier if the apology is more sincere? Or pain is pain no matter what? What do you think?
• United States
5 Mar 12
It's up to the one who is apologized to. When someone hurts you intentionally, it becomes a debt they owe you. When they apologized, they were asking for the debt to be forgiven. If you do not care to forgive, you don't have to. BUT, as we are taught in the Lord's prayer; forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. If you don't forgive them, is it possible YOU won't be forgiven YOUR debts? Forgiveness isn't for the one who's asking for it, it's for the one who was offended. Bitterness and anger are heavy burdens on the soul of the one holding onto them.
28 Mar 12
Hi! Thanks for your response. I agree that when someone asks for forgiveness, it somehow removes the bitterness and anger that the offended party was harboring. It really is sometimes cathartic to forgive someone who has wronged us. So your response got me thinking that even if the sincerity of the apology is dubious, it's for our own good to forgive. Because we're doing it for ourselves, to help us heal ourselves, and not to appease the guilt of the offender. Thanks again for responding!
21 Jan 12
This is an unusual and interesting topic jonn. In my humble opinion, pain is pain no matter what... for example, you ran over someone on the road... as it is an accident, you rush him to the hospital, take accountability on the hospital expense... and still, a verbal apology still aint enough. No matter how sincere you can get, there would always be a part of you who would always feel guilty because it never should have happened if you were focused on the road and other stuff like that. In this case, not only should you be sincere to your patient but you should also be fair with yourself. To reply to your query, apologies MAY work but it would NEVER heal the pain. Only God thru time can heal all pains. Good for you if the person you ran over is educated and understanding but what if that person happens to be abusive?! There are some patients who would even pass you their other burdens...
22 Jan 12
Hi! Thanks for your comment! You made a very clear situation there about how apologies may not necessarily heal the pain one person has caused you. And I agree that only God can truly heal us of our hurts. Come to think of it, there are some instances when we can still get over our hurt even without an apology from the one who hurt us. If we lift up to God our hurts, then He will take them away and we will learn to forgive even without an apology. =)