I am going to miss my friend's birthday party and my friend is angry at me

There are two problems about going to her party. One of the problems is the food like you said because my husband wouldn't be able to eat her food, and we would have to find a solution to that problem, so that he doesn't become ill. The other problem is the fact we have made other plans on the day where the party takes place. My husband is going to take a course in another town in that weekend and we have found a small apartment in that town, made a reservation and paid for it, and we would not be able to get the money from the apartment back if we change our plans now.

It is a short course, it starts Friday and ends on Sunday. The course takes place in a town called Bogense, we will go there on Friday and return to our home Monday morning. My friend's birthday party takes place on Saturday, so it is in the middle of our vacation. I have thought about the thing you suggested. I don't think that my husband will be able to take some time off, because it is only a short course and he would miss out on too many things if he took the day off. I have also thought about going to the party alone, but that would also be difficult. My husband has our car and it would be hard to use public transportation from the Bogense to my friend's home, because my friend's home is not close to Bogense. She lives in a small village and there are very few busses during the weekend. It bothers me that I have to decline her invitation, because I don't want to disappoint her and make her sad, but it looks like it is the only option

Oh. The second reason sounds more difficult to handle. Am sure you would have thought of this though - The course - how many days is that. If it spans over a long duration, and you people are nearer, maybe you can take a day off and visit your friend and return back to attend (maybe by the next day). Or, (not the right one though), maybe you alone can visit your friend and your hubby can take care of him for that duration.

I think it is a good idea to get her a special present from our vacation. I am also thinking about surpricing her with a visit on her real birthday (a few weeks after we return from our mini vacation) I am sure that she doesn't expect that because we don't live in the same part of the country and we can't meet that often. I think that she is overreacting, it has been several days already and she still won't talk to me, but on the other hand I also understand that she reacts that way because she is very sad and disappointed. I hope that eventually she will understand that we didn't do it to hurt her.

Yes, a surprise visit on her actual birth day is great :) I will be very surprised and happy too. Hopefully everything will works as you plan

I also think that she is overreacting. I understand that she is disappointed, but we had already made plans when we received her invitation and I have explained the situation to her. Of course I also get disappointed when my friends aren't able to come my party, but sometimes people have made our plans and we have to accept that. Yes, you are right I will be able to visit her on real birthday, because at that time we are back from our vacation. Maybe I will surprice her with a visit on her real birthday.

Yes, I am going to sent her and card and a present even though we won't participate in the party. You are right that she is a grown up, she is 40 years old and a not a teenager, but I think that her behaviour is similar to the bebaviour to a sulking teenager. I tried to explain the situation to her and explain that we didn't know about her birthday when we made the other plans, but she still refuses to talk to me.

I am not her only friend, but she doesn't have a lot of friends, and I think that is one of the reasons why she got so disappointed when I told her that we wouldn't be able to come to her birthday. When I explained to her that we wouldn't be able to come to her party, she stopped talking to me and that hasn't changed yet. I think that I will give her some time and let her cool down.

I also think that she is overreacting and I think it is because she is very sad and disappointed. It is true that we all have duties and things that we have to do and sometimes it is isn't possible to take part in the celebrations even though we would like to participate. In this situation my husband and I have already made other plans, and it is too late to change those plans now, so unfortuneately we won't be able to go to her party.

I thinking the same thing, she could have told us earlier that she was planning on celebrating the party a few weeks before her my birthday. I just assumed that the party would take place in the weekend where her real birthday is, because she has done that in the precious years and I was surpriced when I received the invitation in the mail. I think that she is overreacting, I have tried to explain the situation to her, but she is still angry.