Confused

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Hi I'm a fairly attractive female stuck in this really messed up situation. My family became friends with this other family and I met this person- well physically she is a female, but mentally and emotionall she thinks and acts like a male.- even looks exactly like one. we became friends and then a part of me was attracted to the masculine side of her. as we got closer, one thing led to the other and now i'm totally hooked. I feel embarrased because i know that i am straight, its just that things are complicated when it comes to him. Please forgive ne, i find it impossible to refer to her as her- confusing right? We have been going out for threee years now, and are quite in love and happy, just don't know how to face my mother and friends and society in general