Self absorbed father in law
@ImmortalKitsune (152)
United States
March 3, 2012 10:46pm CST
My father in law is, to put it nicely, kind of a jerk. He's always making promises he never follows through on, so we don't even believe him anymore when he tells us he's going to do something. He told us he was going to get us a bigger car to accommodate the baby. Well, we thanked him, but silently, neither of us really expected him to follow through. So right before the baby is born (She was actually a month early) he calls and tells us he isn't going to get us a car, because he just bought himself one instead. Very much his MO, but whatever, we weren't actually expecting him to do it, he's never followed through before, why would this be any different?
So my husband told him it was ok, and that we were making alternate arrangements and his dad actually got mad we weren't upset enough about it. I'm sorry, you never follow through, what are we supposed to do get excited each time you promise something we know you won't deliver on? He actually told us that he thought we should have been much more disappointed. He has yet to see our daughter and hasn't spoken to us since before Thanksgiving because we weren't willing to drive 11 hours just to see him with our two month old.
Around Christmas, we let him know we'd be much closer to him if he wanted to visit. He never replied, and still has not seen her. At this point, I don't even think we should bother telling him if we'll be nearby until he decides to grow up. My husband is not close to him and actually resents him a lot. I just don't know why he seems to think we should rearrange our entire lives for him.
Do you have anyone you know like this in your life?
7 responses
@Glitznglitter (389)
• Canada
4 Mar 12
Over the years I have learned that the only person that will keep a promise is one I make to myself. People are creatures of habit who will cancel plans when something better comes up or when it serves their purpose.
When someone makes a promise I never really take it to heart this way you can never be disappointed when they fall through.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Mar 12
Sorry to butt in here but I absolutely agree with your response! Most people are selfish...plain and simple. If it doesn't better them they could care less. I know WAY too many people like this!
@shwetat195 (628)
• India
4 Mar 12
i would say, u have a grown up child in ur family. there is a saying old parents are like babies who want all the attention for evrything and anything they do. if they do not get the attention they they feel disheartened. there is nothing which u can do the best is the way u are doing right now. i appreciate that actually. i have my father who i would say is a grown up child and i can understand ur problem because of him. there are certain things in our life which can not be ignored nor can be accepted as a part of life... however, we have no option ....
@ImmortalKitsune (152)
• United States
4 Mar 12
It's a pain to deal with him, because as you said, he's a grown up child. I just couldn't believe he had the gall to tell us we weren't disappointed enough. It was like, what were you planning to do this the whole time just to see how we were going to react?
@cajunmomma (624)
• United States
29 Mar 12
My father-in-law is sort of like this. He used to take my oldest over nite almost once a month. He has taken our second child a nite or two. Now our kids never see their grand parents on my husbands side. We have not heard from them since christmas and our kids go to school in the same town my in-laws live in. They didn't even call my daughter to tell her happy birthday when she turned 7 in February. It is sad, because the only reason I am up here is because of my husband and his family. If it weren't for them being up here I would have moved back near my family a long time ago. Now I am going to move back near family without my husband. This is not the only reason I am leaving. There are alot more reasons why. This just happens to be one of them.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
4 Mar 12
I don't know anyone behave exactly like this jerk in my life within my family. There is actually not many people like that in this world except a handful of them. You are quite lucky to have him as a father-in-law, wish you good luck to your future having to deal with him on a daily basic. 
@ImmortalKitsune (152)
• United States
4 Mar 12
Thankfully I don't have to deal with him to frequently! Thank goodness for that right!
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Sorry to hear you father-in-law is such a jerk! There are other people in this world like him! I don't have one as you you father-in-law in my family! My dad is a jerk but he has never been this bad! You are doing the right thing with him! If he wants to continue to act like this,let him! He is the one losing out by not seeing his granddaughter not you! Lets hope he changes his attutude! For the better!
@manaleli101 (146)
• South Africa
10 Mar 12
Yes, my father-in law to be. We always have to drive to his placewhenever he wants to see the baby but he never makes arrangements to travel over to us to see the baby. I fail to get him!!
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Mar 12
Yeah I do know someone like this and I don't have anything to do with them anymore. I cannot stand someone that constantly lies! Especially when it comes to something you could really use. I hate that.
I agree with you, I would not tell him when your close by either. I have no use for people like that in my life. Just be glad you don't have to deal with him a lot. I think it shows his character when he said you should have been more disappointed about the car...He is a jerk! Who would want someone to be hurt by their actions?? I would never intentionally hurt someone like that.
Sometimes people make promises with good intentions but cannot follow through, this does NOT seem to be the case with him!
