Well it seems life took me away for quite some time
By olydove
@olydove (1209)
United States
March 20, 2012 12:06am CST
I really feel like a jerk. I've been gone from myLot for such a long time now. Almost two years. My mother had passed away January 7th of 2010 and since then life has really changed for me. I lived with her for the last 4 years or so in her home, and so after she passed away it was really difficult for me to be here in the house. I don't know I guess I got pretty depressed and just decided I didn't really want to "socialize" online and barely offline for that matter.
Then my uncle fell ill so I was caring for him for awhile. I was at his house away from my children and my husband totally out of my comfort zone and well needless to say that ended up being a complete disaster. So I stopped taking care of him and it took me a few months to start feeling like me again. Just when I thought I was getting better emotionally he fell ill again, and once again I went to help him.
You see my uncle while he has a good heart, is not the easiest person to get along with and many times seems unappreciative of what others do. He's the type of person that as long as things go his way it's ok but never mind any consideration for someone elses feelings or needs.
Anyhow I am back home now and have been for about a month. I've decided it's time to get back to being me, only this time a better me.
I am now on a new journey to lose weight and get healthy. I figure as I lose the weight I'll feel better physically and emotionally. Lord knows it's been a struggle being as large as I am. After seeing a friend of mines success he's lost over 100 pounds with a "new to me" product I thought I'd go ahead and give it a try. So far I've lost 12 pounds and I can't wait to lose more. I have a long road ahead of me but I know if I stick with it I'll be a better person and have a better life.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
20 Mar 12
I can imagine how hard life has been. My dad passed away when I was seventeen and it really changed my life in so many ways. I'm so happy for you and that you are putting forth so much effort to improve your life and your health. That can be the hardest thing is actually doing what we need to do. I'm continually looking for ways to improve my life because I know at times my situation in life causes me to feel depressed. I thought that my life would be different in a good way. And it isn't unfortunately. There are people in my life who make it difficult to enjoy life. But since I can't control them or convince them to work on themselves I have to work on myself and not let their pessimestic outlook affect me and what I would love to accomplish in my life.
2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Mar 12
Dominique you said it so well "unfortunately. There are people in my life who make it difficult to enjoy life. But since I can't control them or convince them to work on themselves I have to work on myself and not let their pessimestic outlook affect me and what I would love to accomplish in my life. "
That is so very very true. I unfortunately have had to rid my life of a few people that I love dearly for that very reason. It's like they drain us, and bring us down more and more. So many times I wished that they would understand how their actions effect others, but when they don't care for anyone but themselves there is no hope in that.
In some aspects I feel selfish for starting to worry more about myself now, but I know if I don't take care of myself that I will not be here mentally or physically to be able to care for others. I have to do better not only for my sake but my children and husband as well. I'm very sorry that things haven't been different in the positive way for you. Hopefully the good times will come for both of us soon.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
23 Mar 12
The best response I can think of is AMEN! You are so right and I will continue to try and remember that each day as I wake up. I'm trying to get into that mode of positive thinking where I wake up and say today will be a good day. As long as I start out that way it does usually tend up to be good even when something bad happens it's easier to get through when I'm in the right mind set. You're so sweet Dominique thank you for your kind words. :)
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
22 Mar 12
I'm glad that you were able to rid your life of those types of people. They really are draining on us. I think that our own life can cause us enough sadness that we don't need other people adding to it. And you are so right that they don't seem to understand how they affect us. It is a really sad thing. Don't feel selfish for worrying about yourself. It is a good thing that has to be done. We need to have balanced. After all we can't give to others when we have nothing to give. So it's important to keep yourself healthy and to keep a positive attitude this will help you in the long run and also benefit your family. I too hope that good times are right around the corner for us.
1 person likes this
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
20 Mar 12
Sacrifice and compassion do have a downside don't they? I hope you realize that however hard it was for you and your family, it was worth it. You now are a better person with a more understanding take on life. That, believe me that is the real reward, and things will get as good as they can get from now onwards. Size may be a real concern, so go ahead and lose some, don't do it to your heart though, your family needs you to have one as large as possible.
And here we are, at myLot, joking, bickering, arguing, fighting, sympathizing, empathizing and just being plain silly. If you find a change here, we have gone from mad to madder and more. Pop in for fun, there is plenty to share. Welcome back!
2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Mar 12
Thank you for the kind welcome back webearn. It can be so very difficult to make the decisions I had to make but I know everything happens for a reason, and I have learned a great deal from this experience.
Size is a big concern for me but I promise my heart will not get any smaller. I allowed it to once before and for a few years I became a bitter soul. When I snapped out of that I vowed to never do that again it was a miserable time for sure.
I missed myLot and all my friends here. Even the bickering lol as it can be sometimes just as entertaining as it can frustrating.
Have a great day. :)
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
20 Mar 12
Welcome Home...dear girl! From your discussion, it truly has been and long...and bumpy road, with a bunch of road blocks along the way! I admire you for being a dedicated care-giver, and that, too takes a toll! Hopefully the road ahead, is paved with good things...people around you, to love and support you, especially in your endeavour to finally care for yourself!
It is truly time, you had time, to look after you...after all, if you are not healthy..in body and spirit, it will be a long and winding road!
Welcome home...and welcome back, and looking forward to hearing a lot more from you!
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Mar 12
My dear perga how I have missed you. It has indeed been a long crazy road. Things are getting better slowly but surely. I'm trying my best to surround myself with positive energy and people. I'm realizing that the "energy" is in fact contagious.
When I am around someone who is down and depressed, I feel bad too. When I am around happy positive people they lift my spirits. I am learning to get out of my shell and live a little which is something I should have done years ago.
Though I can't change the past, I sure as heck can make a brighter future :)
Hugs to you sweet friend. It's good to be back :)
