guys pls help..pls

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the story goes like this. i met a guy his name is john in a famous chat room here in the philippines but i wont mention the internetsite for confidentiality and john was living in australia. its been 2 years from now that i'd still cant forget this guy. first we became friends, since i was new in that room same as him. he courted megan which is my friend and at the same time anton courted me too. so we created a circle of friends. until there is this circumstances that anton and i broke up because of his bad attitude which it was very turned off. anton began to post prohibited words which is very offending in my part, he became uncontrollable. so i decided to look for another room and break up with anton, and adjust myself for a new environment. john keeps on sending me private message asking how am i doin,okay alright? where am i now? etc. so i began talking with him on what really happens to me. as time goes by, he keep on chatting until dawn, he always looks for me whenever im not online. he even texted me on my mobile number. i suddenly started this feelings for him, iv'e been hiding it since he had already a girlfriend(chat girlfriend), though it is wrong but i know that i should do the right thing for us to save our friendship so i start to ignore him, his text. i keep my silence for 2 weeks i didnt response to his text messages, or private message in my account. after that 2 weeks, i started to join that same room again. to my surprise john posted his feelings for me.. that he really likes me alot from the first place but since i was taken already by anton he decided to court another girl just to divert his attention. by that day i dont know what to say or to post in the room. i had this confused feelings. made me happy because i know that i had this feelings for him.afraid since megan might got really hurt. i have no choice but to let him choose among us. since i dont wanted to be rude with megan since she was my friend. and i dont want john to be a cheater with megan. i told him that this is not good, so he had to choose. at the end he chooses me. to cut it off, i fell deeply inlove with john. we began talking alot of things, like life, marrying, children. we had no problems at all aside from him having this heart condition. one day john introduce her cousin jamie, 18 y.o college student, she reminded me one of my niece, so girlie. everytime we got problems me and john she's the one whom i always talk to through mobile call. she always give me advice. telling me that i would be fine. i even cried, she was there listening and comforting me. everytime john would let go of me because of his condition that he might not survive what would happen to me if he left. i was so blue at that moment. so learned to let go of him, after a month he send me private message again..telling me that he cant live without me. so we end up together again. we had this promise that we will just communicate through letters in the chatroom, for us to be surprise whenever we will meet up personaly so i was that confident because i trust him. at that moment i was taking my review for my board exam. he also had this big argue with his mom because john's want to work here in the philippines but his mom wont allow him to. so we both end up arguing also.:"( we haven't talk until i got a call for his cousin jamie saying that she was john. she was just using the pic of his cousin because of the fact that she hates him so bad. i was shocked by that time she was talking to me..confessing and convincing me that john and jami is one person and that is her. it was really awful. so painful and until now i cant accept the fact if she was telling the truth or she were instructed by john to say it for me to hate him so bad and let him go.. what can you can about this.