Are you forcing your kid to have honor or recognition?

Pasay, Philippines
March 26, 2012 2:41am CST
Why do you need to force your kid to have honor or recognition? What is that for? How sure are you that the child is not in pressure when you force him/her to study hard and hard until he/she reaches to become an honor? What is significant to your life if your kid has an honor especially if he/she receives awards?
1 person likes this
11 responses
• Philippines
1 Apr 12
My son is in the honor roll and I'm happy for that. I didn't force him to achieve that. It was her Nanny who wanted him to aim higher. Forcing my kid to have a recognition won't do good. Because if they thought that they're good enough, They'll be too complacent with their self.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Apr 12
That is totally true because when we die we can't bring that recognition to heaven and St. Peter wouldn't even ask about it but our moral value here on earth.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
Yes, I agree. Some parents become too proud of their children when they're always at the top in academics like their lives depended it. But the truth is when we die, it's not important at all! Of course it's good to aim higher, it's the children's decision if they want to aim higher and be on the top but parents should not be the one to force them.
• Philippines
29 Mar 12
In the future, when I'm gonna have children, I will never force them to be an achiever or an honor or to be one of the top in class. I will support and inspire him/her to have good grades. Just good and passing grades will be enough for me. U\If he/she will get low grades, I will tutor him/her. I will help him/her instead of being disappointed or angry. I will not pressure him/her. I will just help him to achieve better grades.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
That is good attitude autumndreamer Guidance is really important to children especially in inspiring them to study. Because from that case then even if they find it hard to learn from school then they will be still motivated to learn more and achieve. From that point they will dream to become successful in life and they will be a positive thinker.
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
I learned that when I was in my 1st year of college. I had a really hard time learning my lessons in Algebra. Since I was little, my mother already know that I really suck in maths. So at college, when I failed Algebra, my mom got mad at me. I was really hurt. I did my best to pass. It's just really harder for me than for other people. Instead of understand me, she got angry and told me hurtful words that affected my self-esteem. I will never do that to my children. If they fail, instead of being angry, I'll help them to stand up and to continue and to try again. I will not damage their self-esteem.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
27 Mar 12
I am not forcing them that, we just want them to go to school and learn and have fun. i guess some parents not really forcing their children but just challenging them so they learn to be competitive. We do challenge our kids but not forcing them, we just want them to feel how it is like to achieve and when they cannot they also feel how to fail and how to get back again and stand up and move on, in that way they get stronger and be better persons.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
Yeah studying in school is about learning and yet it must be fun. If they won't having fun in school then I doubt it if they will be motivated in studying and to become successful in career life. It is important on how to become strong especially when they are failing and of course to become a better person.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
31 Mar 12
I always have this thinking that if i remove the fun in studying then they would loose interest in it and they would turn to other things or take school for granted. But if they enjoy studying they would want to study more as they would enjoy more .
• United States
26 Mar 12
Well, I think that children should have dreams, I think that children should have goals, and I think that they should want to achieve something greater, but should they be forced to win something all of the time? No because children aren't perfect, and for the children that are perfect, well, you have to wonder? A child that is perfect, and doesn't make mistakes or rarely ever makes mistakes could get bored or they could think that life comes easily. They could also end up resenting people and wishing that they were able to be children for once in their lives. I, personally, wouldn't put too much pressure on a child to have honor and recognition simply because you wouldn't want them to lose their childhood and end up resenting or hating you later on in life.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
The fact that world is very competitive especially nowadays it is really hard to pressure the children to have recognition. What if your opponent is very genius in nature? then you can do nothing about it but face it. And yeah loosing their childhood would cause emotional stress that they would lack understanding on things.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 12
It's true. What if one child is a genius and the other child isn't? What you can you do about it? You can't do anything to make your child smarter than the other child if the other child is just more intelligent by nature. People have no idea how much genetics plays into everything.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
When my daughter was in Grade 1 , i am always tutoring her in her studies and yet she didn't have an honor. On her 2nd grade, she doesn't want to be tutored anymore, so i left her to herself, and i was amazed she got the second honor. From then on, i didn't tutor her anymore. She seldom even asks me on her assignments , and then she got the first honor on the next years and graduated salutatorian on grade 6 and got a scholarship at Philippine Science for high school She graduated cumlaude at UP Manila for her BSBA BioChem and now she's a full scholar at St. Luke's for her medical studies. She's at top 4 of the whole first year. We didn't pressure her in getting honor at school, we merely keep telling her that her course would be our latest legacy to her.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
Wow that is the biggest blessing that you got. Seems that she is naturally intelligent that she can make it on her own. I know that Philippine Science because my bro went there as well.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
31 Mar 12
Indeed meta, she is the biggest blessing that we have. And to add, she was born on Dec. 25, so i considerher our biggest gift, since she's our only child. Well, maybe she acquired the intelligence from me.
@Marvz18 (106)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
First of all if my kid has honor or awards in school I would be proud of my kid... well I think that is one of the significance of it, to be a proud parent and that reflects how you raise your child. Second, the word force is something that we should not use to our kids or to anyone, you should not pressure anyone to do something they do not want... right? Maybe, the perfect word for that is persuade them or give them a goal and give them prize in working hard and for a Job well done. If you would ask me if my kid can or cannot get into the honor list, it doesn't matter as long as she study hard and eventually finish her studies. I guess the point here is that we need to put a little pressure on our kids since we are still molding them to be a great person, we can compare this to a clay that we need to put pressure to mold it to became something useful or became our art but not too much because it could also deform it and it will be useless and when the clay is already dry and hard even if we put more pressure we will not be able to mold it anymore... :D
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
In my opinion pressuring is not really good because what if your child has different tolerance? I myself was not been pressured to become honor but I was pressured in other ways to the extent that I can't think very well. My morality and self confidence became lower to the extent that I can't project that much even my hatred.
@jinky2012 (438)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
if i will send my daughter in school i will never force him to have an honor after the year of her study, instead i will congratulate for her achievement.,yah its true that forcing to ones child in reading or having an honor,awards is a big pressure to her. There is also psychological effect to her.That if she/he cannot meet your criteria then it will become a stress for him/her so never force them,therefore, give them gifts every time they can achieve goals especially end of school year.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
Because in the first place if the priority of parents is having a recognition and honor for their children then I doubt if they are really learning. How could they also value the right conduct and moral values if they are emotionally stress? Chances are if that is their concern then I will never doubt if they will cheat. No wonder cheating is always happening, one reasons they are doing that is because of the pressure from parents. They are not concern about learning but just to have recognition.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
26 Mar 12
A certain amount of authority is necessary for getting children to learn. Awards and recognition come their way if their performance is good and is a real reward to them and to the parents. Over a period of time this "forcing" gets the child to do the study, encouraged by the awards that serve as an incentive. That is good as far as getting the child to do what is expected of it. In fact like getting children to eat right, which they always resist, but as they grow and understand, they comply. What is wrong is that when parents try to realize their ambition through their children. That is unfair. Then the children feel unreasonable amount of pressure and an emotional breakdown is bound to follow. Not good for anyone.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
If the parents push their children much because of their ambition then it will come to a point that children will be having his tantrums. Usually the parent who are forcing their children to have recognition are stage mothers.
@yahnee (1250)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
My children do not have to be forced to study. They do it voluntarily without me asking them to. They are very competitive and active in school. They get good grades and honors. There are some parents though who want their children to excel and I cannot certainly blame them since they want the best for their children but not to the point of giving punishments if the kids get low grades. We are not well off in life and we have to make many sacrifices just to allow the kids to continue going to school. My responsibility is to see to it that they are provided with what they need in school. My children know that the only way to improve the status in life is having a good education.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
Having good education is really important. It is really good that they can get honors without forcing them to have it, that is just an advantage. Being an honor student is not always the basis to prove themselves. Good moral values is still important.
@Mashnn (4503)
26 Mar 12
I will not care much about honors but I will be concerned if his performance in school is not good or below average. Parents should not force their children to study but they should guide them on the right way to study and provide the necessary tools for studying.
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Mar 12
That is right children must be disciplined by their parents regarding studying and at the same time they should be inspired.
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
hi, of course not,parents should not force their child to have a honor or recognition from the school because it will not result to good,i always tell to my nephew and niece to try their best to achieve but not forcing their self.