are you a good listener?

@bachri (108)
Indonesia
April 2, 2012 6:54am CST
problem is a part of life. Most of people can't solve their problem by themselves. Sometimes, they try to find solution by telling their story to the others. are you ever meet friends who tell their problems to you? for me, that is a good opportunity to know more deeply about someone. do you care about someone problems? are you a good listener?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@shaieen (258)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
I think I am a good listener that sometimes too much listening to their problems make me cry too. I can't help but be emotional because of my weak heart. I am open to everyone but I think not everyone is open to hear mine. It's sad to know that it's hard to find that someone who's gonna understand and listen you with all the pain you are undergoing through without feeling awkward telling them that. :-)
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 12
Wow, I love with someone who can listen with their heart just like you. Beside listen to them you feel their story. I think you not just a good listener but you are a great listener. :D i have read book and I get some good quotation says, "good listener listen with their ear, a great listener listen with their heart" Yes you're right it is hard to find someone who can understand and fell about our problems. Thank you shaieen. :D
@shaieen (258)
• Philippines
5 Apr 12
Yay! Thank you for the complement. :-) I didn't know I was a "great listener". Hmm, yeah coz some people are not interested with our problems/lives. Just like your friends, not all friends are true. You can have a lot of friends, but only few will spend time listening to your heartaches. :-) Like I encountered a friend; we're not close really, but she tells me her worries and thoughts, and here I am always listening and telling some advices. The sad part is, she is self-centered. Whenever I am worried, and problematic, she usually never bother to ask me. There was one time I told her my problem, but in the middle of the conversation, she interrupted with my story-telling and ask me to speak directly to the point(because I really speak slow, and I was teary). I mean, yes I was talking my problem out, but isn't it inappropriate to say something like that to your friend who has a problem? I think no. You should be patient/ willing to hear the whole story, no matter how pointless it is ( considering you are a good friend, but if not, then she should not bother then). From that time on, I got tired of being patient, then I put a little space between our friendship because I hate to be somebody else's pet/listener who she in turn can never listen back to me.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 12
Yeah you're welcome shaieen. :) You get the point, yes not all of people interested about our problem and story. Ooohh, how bad she is. I think because of that accident you close your mind from others. You don't want to that situation happened again. Don't push your heart to hard when you want to share your story. Just share is to anywhere, don't expect your friends can understand about your feeling. If nobody don't want to listen about your problem Just share it into your diary or something else. I think you can get fell better than before. :D
@atwilson (540)
• Indonesia
2 Apr 12
Yes, i am. I love listening to the lecture in class. :D
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
Hahaha! What a good listener and a very studious one.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
3 Apr 12
For atwilson, haha I think that is the different meaning from my discussion. :D But for me no in the class. hehe
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
3 Apr 12
haha, yes dazzledlady. Wilson has different way of thinking about that LOL.
@freymind (1352)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
i think i am since some of my friends always confide with me with their problems. its best that you are a good counselor. listening and giving good advises to your friends will make a big influence in their lives and the situation they are in. it feels good when you have helped someone or have taken your advises seriously and thought of it very well.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 12
Yes, you're right. Give some advice to person who has problem will give a big influence to them. It means we must carefully when give it to them. thank you for sharing. :D
@xemorth (70)
• Australia
3 Apr 12
A lot of people trust me with their problems. Some of them feel bad for doing this, but I tell them numerous times that I enjoy listening to their problems. I honestly do care, because I want them to become happier. I am a good listener, I'm go about their problems from a neutral perspective. I offer constructive critism, because I believe that is the best way. In the future I wish to become a psychologist, therapist, or a councellor :) Because even if the pay is quite bad, I would be doing something I love, and getting paid for it. Although I have realised that I tend to care more and put up more of an effort to those who I'm closer to.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 12
Wow you have a good mission xemoth. Actually just a few people want to do that. Some people hate to do that because it is not give you much money. But, I am agree with you. I prefer do what I love rather than anything. Hope you can achieve what do you want. :D
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
i think i am. actually when someone is talking about his or her problem, it s advisable to just listen and not talk because talking back and reacting about the situation can change the person's emotions and can affect his or her thinking. it is est to tell him and her advise after he or he has already told and cried everything out. when my friends got problems, i always try to be there for them, to listen to what they have to say and try to comfort and make them feel better. but i do hope i am also making a good job as a friend.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 12
Yes, you're absolutely right. Thank you for sharing, yeah you're right if we talk in the middle of their story it will change their mind and emotions. Better we give some advice after they already talk all about their problem. Oh ya, Have you ever tell your story to your best friends Cherish?
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
2 Apr 12
All I can say is I try. Sometimes, that is all a person needs. I can barely solve some of my own issues. I don't know how good I would be at anyone elses! lol As long as the person feels better, then I have done something.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 12
Haha, yes of course. I appreciate your effort to help someone problems. Sometimes I cannot solve their problems too but I still listen to them carefully. Have a nice day.
2 Apr 12
yaa,i am good listener.because i am trying to connect every one who r my friends or not .good listening capability can solve the problem which is part of our life.it can help also to others who is sharing the problem with you. if you listen properly the class u can get the good marks in any exam.so listening capability can help us to achieve the task to fulfill our requirements.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 12
Wow absolutely you're right. Yes, listen is one of basic to understanding something. For me sharing to the others can reduce my problem in my mind. Thank you for sharing. :)
@dodo19 (34306)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
2 Apr 12
I do think that I'm a pretty good listener. I do try to help people with their problems. I may not always succeed, but I do my best to listen and try to help them with their problems.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 12
Hmm, yes we cannot always success in understanding others problem. But you're right we can do the best for them. We cannot live without them, because in future maybe we get problem and need help from others too. Thank you for sharing.
@dazzledlady (1619)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
I think, in general I am a good listener. I do listen to my friend's problem or anyone who wants to share there problem with me. Whether they ask advise from me or just wants to vent out their frustrations, I will listen to them if I am not busy. Because listening to them with half ear will be insulting and will do no good to me or to them. It is good to listen well before you talk , in that way you wont miss details that might be essential in solving the problem.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 12
Yes you're right. Better you listen before speak. I love that statement. Of course nobody can solve their problem by themselves. We as their friends always there to listen and help their problem with hope they can help us too about our problem. The beauty of sharing. Have a nice day.
@megamatt (14326)
• United States
2 Apr 12
I think that I am a good enough of a listener. To an extent as it turns out. There are just times however when I will be listening to people, but I do have my limits. I think that it does help when the person says something that is worth listening to. When they make their points and don't ramble on, because the longer the person goes on, the harder it is to try to listen. That is the problem, as listening is a two person operation. Someone to actually listen and another person to convey the information in a rather clear and concise manner. It is a two person operation, as a good listener might make more of an effort but even the best listeners are just going to really going to have their limits about what they are going to listen to.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
3 Apr 12
Hmm, how often you listen someone story? Oh so the more often we listen to others, can increase our ability in listen and give solution yaa.
@pjha1975 (214)
• India
2 Apr 12
Being a good listener isn't just about listening. You also have to consider that you have a really good understanding of what the other person is going through or has gone through. You need to actively listen & time-to-time enforce your understanding of the other person by putting in clarification comments - "so, if I understand you correctly.." A lot of my friends have discussed their personal/professional problems with me & have asked me how to solve them. And, in a majority of situations, they follow what I have suggested to them with very favorable & positive results. It really does feel good when people follow what you suggested & it works in their favor.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
3 Apr 12
Wow, you are a very good listener. :D Yes, you really right about that. Beside we listen to them we must understand about their problem too. It will be nothing if we just listen to them without giving some solution. Thank for sharing pjha
@GokuKid (55)
2 Apr 12
Yes, I do actually, my girlfriend has and had lots of life problems, I try and help her deal with them and I also try to help others who need it, I consider myself a good listener.
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
3 Apr 12
Oh that's great. Not everyone can do that. You can give some motivation to others. Keep up your work. Have a nice day. :D
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
Although I prefer keeping it to myself, I try to solve my problem on my own as long as I can. But if it gets deeper...I do share it with my very close friends and family. And yes I am a very good listener, anyone can always count on me, most especially those who trusted me with their problems and it feels good to help others
@bachri (108)
• Indonesia
2 Apr 12
Yes you're right, because not all of our friends can solve our problems. My suggest, don't push your heart to solve your problem if it so hard. And yes you right just tell that to your trusted friends. Hope your problems get the right solution. Have a nice day. :D
@else22 (4319)
• India
4 Apr 12
A difficult question.How can I claim to be a good listener? One of my friends would deny.He is beset with with problems created by his own faults.Now whenever he finds me,he goes on telling me about his sorrows.An unstoppable speaker as he is,he does not stop even at comas and full stops.How can I be patient enough to listen to him for hours? I think,you need to be a good speaker to get a good listener.You should allow him some time to say if he wants to say something to you.Some in my friend circle think that I am a good listener,others deny it.
@meozard22 (872)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
well yes, some of my friend tells me their problem and they sometimes tell the whole story. I feel overwhelmed everytime my friends do that because I feel that they really trust me and that they think that I care, so I always listen to them. And sometimes when I'm the one who needs comfort, they also held a helping hand and an ear to listen
• Bangladesh
3 Apr 12
Yes! This is a good practice for every person I think. This is positive & always I try to be a good listner for nice talking i.e. not for ugly talking.
@lakantar (1575)
• Greece
3 Apr 12
Well about friends I am a good listener and I try to help them when there is a problem. Now that also depends in the mood you are too :)