It's coming back / I want to cry

@SomeCowgirl (32273)
United States
April 3, 2012 11:35pm CST
I can feel it. I had something stressful happen just a bit ago and now I have the urge to quit my job. I seem to have this urge only when my bipolar is flaring up. I am stressed and annoyed but I have no reason to be. When it comes down to it the thing that is stressing me is almost taken care of, and if I have to do one thing for one day just to get to work then that's alright too.. But I still have this strong urge in the back of my mind that is saying "quit your job" and I feel stress around it. It's really hard to explain and I don't think I can. I guess I could try to get disability but I don't know how I would, I don't take medicine and refuse to start just to get disability. Ugh, It's taking me a bit just to make this discussion. I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
2 people like this
9 responses
@celticeagle (114473)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Apr 12
Well, of course I don't know what transpired but I think if it was hurtful to you enough that you are thinking of quiting then that is a decision you need to make. On the other hand is this how you are going to handle it if this happens at the next job? What I am trying to say here is that I hope you start a behaviour that you can't quit. My daughter and I are both on disability and we both take meds. I don't know if this is something you have to do to be on disability. I do know that I was one who didn't want to take meds but over a course of time and several bad experiences I realized I had to. The difference between the time I wasn't on them and am on them is like night and day. I am glad to have them. My daughter has to be on them or she goes into a manic phase that is very destructive. I hope you can work this all out.
@celticeagle (114473)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Apr 12
I hope you DON"t start is what I meant to say ofcourse.
@AmbiePam (46358)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I can't think of one person who does better off their bipolar medication than on it. I'm not on the manic side, I'm heavy on the depressive side. Either one is awful enough. But with no help, and it took me 22 years to be diagnosed, life was simply awful for me.
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I am feeling better today. I have times when I feel like I am not bipolar anymore but the truth is there is no way that I can't be, and I know this. I do better without medications because my flare ups are usually triggered by things I know of and can get away from. I was diagnosed with Bipolar with Depressed Moods.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (46358)
• United States
4 Apr 12
You're bipolar and you're NOT on medication for it? I'm bipolar and I was so incredibly awful before I was diagnosed and put on medication. I would never get off of it now. My life is simply better. I'm also on disability, but it's for other things. I don't know if one can get on disability just for being bipolar unless one has been hospitalized for it before.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I was diagnosed a long time ago and my "flare ups" are very few and far between now. The place I live now is a big trigger, but I've learned to get away from the thoughts and feelings I have for the most part. I don't believe in medication and refuse to take it for it.
@AmbiePam (46358)
• United States
4 Apr 12
It sounds like you have a milder kind which is great if you aren't taking medication. You can always treat it nutritionally. There are certain diets people who suffer from bipolar follow that help even out the moods and stress. Vitamins in particular too. I know a lady who went off all of her medication doing this. She also tried acupuncture, but I have never tried that myself. You should know though that they would never consider you for disability for bipolar if you have never even tried medication. They have doctors review your files and if they see no medication they'll be like, well if she's never been treated, how does she know she wouldn't be fine with it? They just look for any way to keep you from it.
@GardenGerty (92278)
• Marion, Kansas
4 Apr 12
You need a close local friend or a (free) group you can attend. Your rational mind knows that you need that job, but it is hard. I hope that posting this here helps.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I feel better today then I did yesterday. I need to get out of where I am now as it's a very big trigger for me. If it occurs again I am going to go online to focus groups etc.
@spndr7 (67)
• India
4 Apr 12
I know its hard to face the pain,but please hold on it will get over soon and talk to someone,being alone is not good.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6957)
• United States
5 Apr 12
You neeeeeed to take your meds. Bipolar disorder is not something you can "THINK" your way out of. You need to vigilantly take your meds. One of the problems associated with being bipolar is the thought that you can "fix this" yourself! Let it go! You cannot heal yourself without your meds. Why choose the impassable road when there is one that is much less burdensome. Please take your meds. If you knew someone with cancer, would you tell them to take their medicine? Of course, you would!
@Greninee (369)
• Philippines
5 Apr 12
hello girl:)! I can partly feel what you're feeling. I have a job too and I feel like quitting because there is some incident that had happened and I got annoyed. But when i thought of all my efforts made just to have this job, my desire to quit disappears. I asked myself: Why should I quit? I can't deny that I am tired but maybe I should take some rest but not to quit, right? Girl, I am glad that you are able to open up what you're feeling. If you want someone to talk, we are here just for you. You can also send me a message and have a talk.Just take life one day at a time. Never forget to smile and make yourself happy by eating your favorite food, listening to your favorite music, have a shower and etc. I CAN SAY YOU CAN MAKE IT! Do you want to know why? It's because that job will never be yours if your boss think that you don't have the capacity to do it. :) So, cheer up girl!:) Never forget to pray also and take some time to take a deep breath.
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
5 Apr 12
hey girl hang in there, Fight through it okay you can do it, that is just the word that you put in your head i know tha it is tough and that there are a lot that you are going through right now but think about what will happen if you quit what will you do were will the money come from, so you fight okay, you can do it, you are strong.
• United States
5 Apr 12
First, don't fake a disability. The fines and and lawsuits that could ensue would put you under a 100 percent more stress than you are right now. Secondly, sometimes if it is on your mind, and you have been thinking about it a while, it just might be something to consider. For example, I had this job with a horrible boss that started out alright. It just went down hill from there from lies, to covering up things, and on and on. Eventually my conscious screamed enough at me to quit the job and I turned it my resignation letter. Short of it is, that was and continues to be one of the best decisions of my life. My stress has been cut in half, I don't come out of work crying, and I am now my own boss. Good luck!
@cynthiann (18630)
• Jamaica
4 Apr 12
My dear friend. Even though your flare ups may not be frequent you still need to be on meds. You would feel better all of the time and nnot be so depressed. You have us to talk too. You can always vent on mylot. Ignore the urges to quit your job. You do need some medical help dear. Please go tonyour Dr.