Product of a Broken Family
April 17, 2012 11:21pm CST
I was just three years old when my mother left us to work abroad. I am the eldest and the only girl. I have two brothers and so they were younger than I was when our mom walked away. Now, at the age of twenty-three I already have my own family with three handsome kids, I must say. I just thought that what if our mom didn't left us that time? Or she should have thought of coming back to take care of us instead of leaving us to our "yaya". Maybe I was not able to get married at a young age. Maybe our youngest brother had not bee involved in the wrong group of his friends. Having a broken family is like having a disease that could no longer be cure no matter what medicine you'd take or which clinic you would prefer to check you up. Living without a mother is very hard for me esp. that I am a girl. I had a very hard time esp.on my puberty age. Now, I just felt so lucky that I still grew up the way I should be, with or without a family because I learned a lot of good things based on my experiences. I just hope that mothers would not leave their family and children very early in their lives.
2 people like this
19 Apr 12
I guess you good by nature. I have a cousin who left her children to work abroad. Her two daughters were already in high school, aged 12 and 13 when she left. Now the girls grow up differently. They already know how to drink liquor with their friends, they go home late at night though they're still below 18. The aunt next door can not prevent them as they are stubborn. Good for their little brother who is 8 years old at present, he grew up with great respect to their aunt. Their aunt is taking care of the boy and the girls as their father is at work everyday. Mothers have no choice if they don't have stable jobs in our country because what they are thinking are the good future of their children which for most mothers, their efforts are useless as the consequence is that their children are not guided accordingly.
20 Apr 12
Hi friend! Yes, practically there are times that we have to leave our family so that we can have better job and give them the best financial support. But I think we also have to consider the fact that very young children shouldn't be far away from their parents. I mean, they still need the mothers tender loving care. So why don't they just focus on getting a stable job first and be sure everything is quite stable before getting married and having children? I know nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes because we are only human, but I am sure that humans can still do better and we have choices to choose from.
18 Apr 12
Hi jewelsam, and welcome to mylot. Didn't your mother come back your family? I thought she only went abroad to work. When you say broken family, did you mean, your parents were separated? I agree that its not easy for kids to grow up without a mother. That is why when there are custody disputes between parents, the kids are always given to their mother if they are not yet of legal age. I do hope you are happy with your new family now, and just pray for God's guidance. The lessons you've learned from your childhood should help you become a better mother and person.
19 Apr 12
I agree with you jureathome! I must say I am becoming a better person now and strive so hard of being a good mom to my kids. Unfortunately, yes my parents got separated after my mom walked away and from that time on we live a very miserable life esp. my dad. That's why I am hoping to God that it would not happen to my own family. Thanks for the prayer!
26 Apr 12
oh... i think what we chose to do with our life is not a result of what our parents did or did not do to us. I myself was from a broken family. my dad walked out on us, literally told us he would choose another woman over his family. that i think is enough reason i or my brothers can use so that we can almost always get away with what we do - blame it on the irresponsible father! haha But nah -- we chose to be different, we chose to put ourselves and our dreams ahead of us and now we are with careers, my older brother have family of his own.. and i never wondered what life would be if he did not leave us - the fact is already done and he is nowhere to be found.
23 Apr 12
i feel the same way too...i grew up on a broken family and my parents have their own families...i grew up feeling like i don't have any parents at all...now i have my own family and i'm trying my very best to preserve the wholeness of my own family...i don't want my children to experience the same experiences that i had..
19 Apr 12
I am sorry to hear about this but I commend you for being a strong person to get through this kind of situation. I always believe that things happen for a reason. That reason may not be revealed to us instantly, but in time, we will know. I know a lot of people who grew up without a mom or a dad, sometimes, even both. But most of them are the most successful people I've ever encountered in my life. Most of them are the strongest in terms of dealing with life's adversities. I guess what they have went through in life made them the way they are. Yes, they still look back and throw in "what if's" questions about their life, but they didn't dwell too much on it. They accepted the fact that things like that happened and the only thing they should do is to make use of the things they learned based on that experience and use it as an inspiration for them to become better in life. God wouldn't give us something we could not handle. Look at you and where you are right now. You may be lamenting on the fact that you've already got a family at such age, but you never know how many women out there who are dying to built their own family, but cannot. Life is funny in a way that we cannot always get what we want, but it is what we do about what we have at hand, that matters most. I am also praying that no children will ever be abandoned by their mother, but we are in an imperfect world, so I'll just pray that no matter how hard life turns out for some, may they have the courage and the strength as good as yours, to get through with it.
19 Apr 12
I am sure the experiences made you stronger. And I guess that strength made you resolve to be a better person and to take care of your own family. Your mother may have her reasons and I hope she would find her way back. It's not too late, I hope? I hope there is still a chance for her to come back and reconnect with her children and grandchildren. Take care, jewelsam. Welcome to Mylot.
19 Apr 12
Hi, please don't take this comment as against you. On my own views, we should also see the side of your mother on why she work abroad instead near you. Maybe she can't find work here that is why she forced herself working abroad. No mother wanted to be away from her children, though she doesn't expose her feelings but deep inside she misses her children a lot. Why do you think she works abroad? Maybe because to give you a good future. I don't know if the time your mother leaves to work abroad, are they already separated with your father by that time? That is one factor also to look at why your mother needs to work far from you because she is now a single parent. I am also a mother and raising a child/raising children is not easy. There are lots of responsibility that we might consider specially on what to feed our children. Maybe, you are lack with spirituality that is why you take the situation negative. At least now you learn from your past.
19 Apr 12
I am really grateful that i have what most normal people have with a complete family in our home. At the same time i felt really sad for your family and you are very strong facing those time and that's why you are what you are now. Talking about problematic problems, it's not only people with family problem, normal family also has this kind of problem, but most those who come from broken family. I know this because my own brother are the most problematic among my siblings and yet he is older than me. I would say it is the environment we grew up with and friends make a huge impact of who we are. We our self has to be strong facing those kind of things so mo matter how bad friends we have, we can maintain to be our self without the problem. This is also my own experience having the most problematic friends in school which getting in trouble and most of them ended up in lockup every month. But as i said, never get too involved with them and i am still good now.