Forced relationships? Or set up relationships-- Ever been in that position?

United States
May 20, 2012 2:47pm CST
I am glad I am not in that position but I know a friend of mine whose parents feel like they should set her up with a boyfriend (maybe her potential husband too). Her parents are forcing marriage but whats to choose the type she can date. I don't like the idea of it because I know if I was in her position, I wouldn't want that. Have you ever been on a date or forced in a relationship by your parents to please your parents? Or would you rather be happy with whom you chose even if your parents don't agree? Share your thoughts/opinions.
3 people like this
8 responses
@jstory07 (56881)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Nov 15
I would not have wanted my parents to set me up with a date or a husband. My life and my choice.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Nov 15
I agree, I wouldn't want that also!
• United States
20 May 12
I would not like to be forced to be with a man like that. I love who I love and would want it to be that way. I hope the poor girl gets to have some say in her life as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Nov 15
I agree! I wouldn't want to be forced either. My parents will just have to accept the man I love.
@scheng1 (24950)
• Singapore
14 Nov 15
It is still in part of Asian culture to allow the parents to match make the marriage. Arranged marriages tend to be more stable, and happier. I think the mindset is different. The young couple tends to accept that their parents are right, and that both families are of the same social class, and they are committed to make the marriage works. Having said that, I can say honestly that I do not like the same thing happens in my country.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 12
I have had people try to set me up before with someone, but I imagine that someone would come into your life when they are supposed to. Forcing love is not a way to make a marriage.
1 person likes this
@taura2p (349)
• Romania
22 Jun 12
I have never been in the position to be compelled to have a relationship with someone, and I could not agree to it. Never! On the other hand, my first boyfriend was not exactly what my mother wanted for me, and then she knew him better and she liked him a lot. Even if I think of my current relationship, I believe that my father would not agree that we are together if he knew all the things I know about my boyfriend. But it is my decision to make. In the end, it is me who is involved in the relationship, not my father...
@inertia4 (26896)
• United States
22 May 12
I think those arranged marriages are horrible. There are religions that do that. I think that is very sad. They have no chance at actual love. I never had to be in that position and I would be a rebel is I were. Where I live there is a large Hasidic community and they have those arranged marriages. They match the children up when they are young. And when they reach that certain age, they have t marry each other. Not only is that forced, but they do not have the right to have a mind of their own. I believe that is abuse and torture. Everyone should have the freedom to date and or marry someone they choose.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
22 May 12
No... I am terrible at faking or continuing things like that, like I lost girlfriends for saying I didn't like their dress when asked for, I was just trying to protect them and still do but now I have more people around that like the truth but I only say when resquested, I had few bosses that didn't like me for not being overly nice and they were used to people kissing their *ss or something. So I think to be in a relationship without the basic: loving and being happy can break us down, I think we can drown in any lie and it's really bad for us. We should be real for us. I read, funny, recently about a woman that was 27 or 29 and she got married even though there were alarming things abuot him. She knew all along he wasn't good enough but she thought her biological clock was calling for her, it was really sad. I sure, got pissed once I decided to be single and it ended lasting 2 years and many girls would ask you are single with that age? But again even though I felt lonely sometimes I knew the guys that were interested weren't for me, so I waited. It was a good time alone and if I needed would do it again, we have to be brave to be real, society asks so much of us: can't be alone, got get married until certain age... we have to learn to be deaf.
@GemmaR (8527)
21 May 12
I have been in the position where people all thought that I should be with one of my friends because we always seemed to get on well. However I was just good friends with him, and I knew that this was not something that I would ever want to do as I was worried that it was going to ruin the friendship that I had managed to build up with him during the course of the years that we had been friends for. Now I am with someone who I chose myself, and I am sure that this is the best way to pick your partner, and you have to be comfortable with them, not just have your family and friends being comfortable with them.