As his birthday nears.......

United States
May 28, 2012 8:51pm CST
my grandfathers birthday is June 29th. i have 1 memory that i feel is the most special to me right now it will be not only his birthday but my soon to be 3 year olds birthday also. 3 years ago next month i was in the hospital after just having my youngest daughter. when i went down to smoke a cig i had to call him off my cell to wish him a happy b-day because i was missing his b-day party. it was a huge joke about me having her on his b-day and when i called i said "ah ha you have to share your birthday" and his words have stuck with me a lot because he said "thats ok i have had it long enough i think i can share with her" it was so sweet. well he dies Feb. 4th, 2010 which is 2 years ago so that was the last b-day he had. i was so sad that i missed basically his last birthday but these words have made it so much easier to cope. it is so hard for me to get through my daughters b-day without crying. i hope that it will get easier. i know it has been a little over 2 years but it is still hard sometimes. i made a slide with him and everything lol. he was an amazing person and he was very smart. he use to confuse me all the time with his high tech way of showing me how to do things (it usually did nothing but confuse me more) but i would give anything for that again. if its possible cherish the time you get with your grandpa because you never know what could happen. i loved him so much he helped raise me with my grandma but as i got older and i moved out i have regretted not spending as much time with him as i wanted. but there is 1 more thing that will forever stay in my heart and that is the events of the afternoon before he passed away. for some reason i had left my cell in the car and forgot about it all day. my husband was asking for an advance on his check so i could go see grandpa because he was getting worse and then i got a check in the mail from a rebate. i had all the gas in the world lol. well anyways i went after louie got home to find out everyone had been trying to call me all day because grandpa was asking for my oldest daughter and all of us but they were going to pick my kid up and take her. he was waiting for us before he let go i think. he held on til we got there and then he waited until everyone was asleep. i just think he wanted to know that everything was ok or something. i know probly a little corny to some of you but it is just the small things that put a smile on my face when it comes to him and all the times we had. with his birthday coming it gets harder to push thro the feelings. do you have somone you have special memories with? have you had to deal with something like this? if so how did you handle it? does it get any better to handle? i know dumb question because everyone says it does it just doesnt seem like it....
1 response
@chan2zexy (508)
• Philippines
29 May 12
I have just had a post that talked about a loss also. It's really difficult to handle a loss especially is the person is really special to you. 4 years have passed but I still feel the lingering pain whenever I look back at the memories. It's really painful. I understand the feeling when you said others say it will be okay but it really doesn't because like I said I still feel the pain. All I did was to accept the loss and remember the good memories. It's really hard. It made me think that maybe time can't heal all wounds because I'm still feeling the pain even after 4 years. But I just keep believing that saying and I'm just bearing in mind that my loved on is already in a better place. Your story touched me, it's somewhat similar to my post. Only yours is about your grand father and mine is about my grand mother. I don't see the last part of your discussion as corny. Maybe your grand father just wanted to see you all happy and okay before he "leaves" to take with him a happy memory on his next journey. =)
• United States
2 Jun 12
i will have to go check that discussion on when i get home after our camping trip and i am able to get on this computer. i am sorry to hear that you loss someone also. i agree it is very hard to lose someone that is close to you. not only did my grandpa pass away but my other grandpa had passed away about a month or 2 after that. it was a very hard year for us all. there are a lot of things i do day to day that remind me of my grandpa and it still hurts to think of him but i do love all the memories that we shared. i agree with you i have heard all my life "time will heal all wounds" but its like you said this is the 2nd year and i dont feel like it is healed any. i feel just as bad and sad now as i did then. i will admit i am not happy that he is gone because i miss him so much but i am happy that he is in a better place and not hurting anymore. the 1 thing i thought i would never do again is go fishing. that is something that me and him always did but my husband slowly got me back out there and got me to understand that grandpa would want me to do this and to pass it down to my kids. like i said i will check out your discussion when i get home and get a chance because i would like to see it :) i am glad that it touched someone. my grandpa was very special to me and was there as i was growing up since i lived with him. maybe that is what he needed to see before he left and maybe that was his way of saying good-bye to us all. i cant wait to see him again someday then we can catch up and remember all the great memories we had :) i try to remember that each and every day :)