omg husband driving me crazy
By C
@ShyBear88 (59285)
Sterling, Virginia
June 1, 2012 12:55pm CST
OMG! My husband is driving me crazy today to the point I want to hurt or throw things. He is freaking out over the fact that his doctor called me today and told me he wants my husband to do several of the hepities blood test. Which I'm sure he doesn't have at all because both of the fact he's had his hepitiies b shot, as well as me and my daughter. I know he hasn't been with anyone other person sexually so I don't know why he is freaking out. He freaks out about ever little test they had to do with him even if its nothing. I tell half of the test they do is based off of logical things that the doctor see it doesn't mean your sick or that you have anything. My husband is like a girl and it gets annoying some days when he makes a bigger deal of out nothing. I've had all those blood test done not ones but twice. I've had them done in both of my pregnancy.
He does have a fatty liver which we found out about at the end of last year when he had his gallbladder and his appendix taken out. Which can cause him issues. He some times have diarrhea due to his gallbladder being taken out. I think he has over done in the grease food department now that he has a frier that he got for his birthday. I don't know why his mother bought him that knowing he can't have grease food to much but he loves fried food. I'm not his mom so I can't tell him what to and not eat. His doctor told him that he could have diarrhea from time to time because of his gallbladder being gone and that can last up to a year. It hasn't even been a year since he had it removed. Me I just think when he does get sick where he had his gallbladder removed that it hurts a little because he is pushing and straining to get all the pooh out. I know eww. Now his doctor doesn't know what it could be but mostly could be related to his liver being fatty. Thus the reason why we don't eat red meat much in our house. But of course my husband cheats a lot and I tell him not to but he is, his own boss. If he kills himself or makes himself worse its his own damn fault not mine but if he is going to act like a baby about then he should take better care of himself with out me remind him.
Now my husband thinks he is going to die because he has to have a blood test and another ultrasound done. I don't think he is going to die but is just over reacting like normal about every little things. It don't matter what I say to him to tell him its just a test like any other blood test that your making a big deal about nothing. I told him not to worry till the doctor actually has something to tell you that is wrong other wise your fine and being a baby and need to stop being negative because if I have to sit at home for the next 16 weeks while I'm pregnant having to deal with him complain about stupid test is just going to cause me stress over that isn't need since there isn't anything to worry about at the moment.
I love my husband but I just won't to kill him some times. I know he is sensitive like a women which at times isn't a bad thing but some days its, its like where the f is his balls. I know he can't keep it all inside but at the same time worry when there are things to to worry about and not worry about the things that you don't have answer to at the moment because they will come when everything is put together.
2 people like this
10 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Jun 12
I'm with Hubby on this. I assume that if the doctor wants me to take some test , it means I will soon die. I am convinced I will Never survive a hospital stay. But then again I will never trust doctors ever again. So to me Hubby's reaction is normal. And I don't see him acting like a woman, he is just afraid of this test. At least he is having it done.I wouldn't .
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Jun 12
I don't go at all! Yes, you are goung for JD! Tell Hubby I hope he feels better.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
I'm sure he'll feel better with in a few days. I told him all he needs is a vacation for everything which won't happen for a few more weeks.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
He isn't assuming he is dying but when a doctor tells you that you need a hep test that normally isn't a good thing but he thinks its really bad. But he's had all of his shots for those as well as I and of course Sugar and I've been tested in both pregnancy that I'm aware of and don't have any. It's just blood you can go with out a little blood and he doesn't like not feelings good I don't think anyone likes not feeling so that is why he is getting it done. He is the kind of person that if it hurts then he'll go if it doesn't hurt then he won't go. I'm like that too. I don't want to go unless I have to go like right now. I don't want to go to the doctor every 4 weeks but I see it as its not really for me its for the other little person.
1 person likes this
@lawrence204 (57)
• Spain
4 Jun 12
Mam, your husband needs proper psychological treatment perhaps. I think he has found out some information about some life taking diseases where many types of blood tests are being done.
My Mom had a similar type of patient once. It took almost 3 months to treat her. She used to avoid her checkup or other medical tests dates. She suffered frequent fevers, she was weak too. She had done group s*x with others so she feared that she had AIDS. But latter my mom figured she had nothing like that. She was just traumatized after hearing that group s*x could spread HIV virus.
Your husband must have heard some sort of info. like that( I know your hubby is a clean guy as you mentioned. You should seek help of professional psychologist. He is actually thinking and fearing about too much irrelevant stuffs.
It's not a good sign mam. I know that because I'm also studying medicine.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
I don't think he needs to see a psychologist its normal for people to not want to go and do test and think crazy things. Well works for the health insurances company so he tends to know things more then he should random stuff. Him with a little info tends to make think weird things some times. I can say something in some way and he'll think i'm upset when I'm not. Normally a hep test means you have hep and its not a fun thing to have since it never goes way. Me I always see a test as a test because well I've had tones of blood test and they say they are going to run them to see if you have this or that and most of the time they come out negative.
No because my husband doesn't listen to the media and stuff. He knows what all these are for and what each test means. He had something wrong with is gallbladder and appendix and was sick all of the time for 3 months and it the hospital found nothing but his doctor did they did all these test he was out of work and almost lost his job because hes physically in pain all of the time since then he's felt better but now he is starting to hurt where he had his surgery. Just because one doesn't want to do a test doesn't mean they won't do it. He's going to do them he just doesn't like the fact that he has to miss work and that the test might come back positive. He's only ever been with me I've never had hep I've been test in both of my pregnancy. You can hep just like you can get strep from pretty much anything. He drinks a lot of water and some water in town isn't filtered every well so it is possible I never really drink water I hated it so I drink bottle water and after his surgery it took a few months before we got filtered water system in our unite.
Just because you study medicine doesn't mean you qualified yet to say someone is sick mentaly or not just based off of a discussion of me being irritate.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 Jun 12
I'm not upset you think I'm upset by how I said something your assuming something based of words not based of actually being in the same room as me. No he isn't freaking out about the blood work because of him missing his work. Yes he almost lost his job because of him being sick last time but that was because last time we had to go to the doctor all of the time and he had to miss work by calling out. If he an appointment and ask for time off he doesn't get pointed for it. Since then my husbands had to lower all of his points back to zero calling out of work puts him at more of risk of losing is job if he does it to many times.
I know he will be fine. I never said I was going to leave him or anything. It just annoys me and then it irritates a bit more when other people assume something when they don't know the whole story and your not a doctor. I'm not upset and I'm most certainly not angry with you if I was I would be swearing left and right. I know physiology just well I don't have a degree but I don't go around telling people that something is wrong with others when I'm not qualified to say. I'm also a mother that doesn't mean I know better then any other mother. I know what is right for my child but that doesn't mean I'm correct about other peoples children and what is right for that child.
That is what I'm saying to you and yes this might be a discussion but no where did I ask for other peoples thoughts on what might be wrong or why he is acting this way. Yes some times things are all up in peoples had and other times doctors are just stupid and no nothing even though they spend 7 plus years and think because they have a degree in something that they are always right about something when they are human and they can be wrong and don't always believe what they hear is being the truth or what that person is really feeling or going through.
I'm sure there is nothing majorly wrong with my husband but we won't know till he does this ultrasound and his blood work. Till then we wont know what it is that is causing him to hurt because last time he hide things from me for months till it got to the point where he hurt so bad that he need strong painkillers. He doesn't like taking painkillers because he has in the past gotten addicted to them so he refuses to take pain medication if he can at all coast. If need I'm the one in control of when he does or doesn't get them.
@lawrence204 (57)
• Spain
5 Jun 12
Mam, don't get angry on me. I'm just want to know some extra details. So I just thrown something to u and u told almost everything to me about your husband. of course he does not need any mental treatment but he is bloody confused. He faced some problems like u mentioned "he was out of work and almost lost his job".
I think that has made an impact on him. He is taking simple tests very seriously. I don't want to make any decision. But though these are very minor issues, sometimes it get bigger. Trust me I have studied few cases like that.
By the way don't get angry, it's just a discussion. Just stay with him always . These are all parts of life. He is fine and he will be fine too.
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
2 Jun 12
A few comments (not of any particular value):
You say your husband is like a girl and he likes to keep it all inside. That is unfortunate. Sorry for the after wedding shock on that one.
When the doctor's office gave you information about your husbands medical needs, I am pretty sure they violated privacy laws.
Finally, the fact that his mother bought him fryer after he had his gall bladder removed is interesting. If anyone else had done that, I think I would see malice in the act. I am sure his mother was doing it out of love, but it is a selfish kind of love. She wanted the satisfaction of giving him something he clearly wanted, instead of caring big picture and giving him what is best for him.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
No I knew all this before we got married. I don't why your said after wedding shock that is not a shock at all. He has been this way since he was a child. He's feelings where never thought of as a child and some times still are not so yes he tends to keep things inside us women do that as well. I'm guilty of it two some times but I normally let all my emotions show if my upset or not I let people know. He knows when I'm upset weather he has done something to make me upset or not. Its not a bad thing for a men to show his emotions or keep them in. Some times he feels like I handle to much so he doesn't say how he feels or think about things but I rather now and him irritate me then to put more stress on himself when its not need.
By law doctors can tell a person partner anything. Yes there is a law but if my husband has signed papers legal doctuments as well as myself saying that either of our doctors can tell either one of us anything of our medical history or needs. That isn't breaking the law at all. Its when they tell people that you, yourself have not given permission to. That is why by law doctors can not hind things about your child if they are under then age of 18 once 18 you have the right to keep what ever it is between you and the doctor and if you want to be know you have to tell the doctor and sign a waver. My husband works for the health insurances so he knows the HIPA rules by heart.
There is nothing wrong with her getting it but she knows my husband loves fried food and we have been trying to cut back but that is kind of hard on my part as well for being pregnant its kind of hard to say no to me when I want something. But I try to hold out and he is getting better now that he got his fun time out of his system for it. Using it here and there won't kill him using it all of the time like he was for the last few weeks once it got in that will. It helps that the smell of the oil bugs me so he doesn't use it that often. The many powers of pregnancy can provide some times.
@cotruelove (1016)
• Denver, Colorado
2 Jun 12
Hello friend,
With a husband who is currently in the hospital due to an blood infection as a result of liver failure the last of March, I would guess the surgeries have compromised your husband's immune system and created stress on his liver. My husband has what is called undefined hepatitis which isn't contagious but is merely the diagnosis that accompanies liver failure. The blood infection is a result of his compromised immunity system. He is just more susceptible to any germ that comes along right now and he is anemic. So, since March he has been in the hospital twice more for problems other than the liver failure. He is coming home tomorrow and the fever he had is gone. They are keeping him until tomorrow to be absolutely sure he is going to stay fever free. We will have to watch daily and take temps daily so that when he gets a fever we can get him help immediately. The blood infection is because of all the antibiotics they have had him on taking the good germs out of his system too which allowed a common problem to take hold and make him sick.
It is possible that your husband's immune system is weak like my husband's is right now due to the surgeries. He should be happy they are testing him in order to keep him as healthy as possible and quit seeing it as a negative experience but a positive one. The problem for most of us is fear of the unknown. Our minds just want to imagine the experience is going to be negative rather than positive. Try to get that point across to the worry wart he is. I'm sure he is afraid, most of us would be, but without tests the doctors don't know how to keep him healthy. I agree with some of the other comments made, how our minds tend to want to believe the worst just because we are having some kind of medical test.
As regards you, you really do need to avoid stress for sure. It makes being pregnant much easier when we don't put stress into our lives. You did the right thing telling him to cut it out and stop the constant negativity. If he believes in God, then I have a phrase you can use. God and fear do not co-exist. If you believe in God, then you must trust it will work out. F E A R means "false evidence appearing real." You cannot say it is real, until the results are in.
Please keep us informed about his condition and how it all turns out. I for one, am definitely interested and praying for the best. 
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
If you read closely his liver was messed up before he had surgery to remove his gallbladder and appendix. His gallbladder wouldn't affect how is body deals with being sick at all. Other wise he would have been sicker a lot sooner not later if there was and infection or a compromise to his surgery. my husband hasn't been to the hospital since September when they told him he wasn't sick and then we went and say his doctor and he told he was sick and his own doctor figured out what was wrong with him and he got it fixed. I'm sure he is fine he makes big deals about little test all of the time. The doctor is just fallowing the order what is next when someone has and issue or has a blood test that shows up like this.
Stress wise I'm fine now that I got how I feel out of my system. He knew before I even wrote this that he has bugged me. He worries because he doesn't want me stuck with two kids at a young by myself which is a good thing but he does need to do his part and make sure he eats better since that isn't my job. I'm his wife but I don't control his eating habits just my own.
@syramoon (654)
• United States
1 Jun 12
I'm sorry things are so rocky for you at the moment. I am one who worries over every little thing at the doctors, but I have anxiety disorder and have been told by many doctors that is why I worry about it so much. But usually in the end everything works out okay. And he'll see when the results come back that he freaked out over nothing, and most likely feel pretty silly. I always do.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
1 Jun 12
He hasn't done this blood test yet. He did one yesterday which is why they called back today saying he needs more blood test. I don't worry and I don't freak out till the doctor says hey you have this and this is what is wrong with you other wise I don't freak about it at all. He does this every time we go to the doctor even if its for me. I tell him all of the time things are fine if they are not we will get it fixed just relax. Because the more relaxed you are the faster things go the less stress it as on you and everyone else around you. I don't need stress right now after the baby comes sure thing add more stress. I can deal with some stress now but not to the freak out he is doing. Of course I told him to shut up because he was irritated me and when I get irritated then our 16 month old gets irritated which then makes me more angry because she is upset about nothing.
@PoppaDave (438)
• United States
1 Jun 12
I feel for your husband. I too hate the tests and the repeats and the repeats some more, to find out I am getting closer to my end. I would rather live and not worry, but what can you do. He is probably affraid like I am.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
1 Jun 12
He did test like these when it was about his gallbladder and that was fixed. He is just being a baby over a few more blood test. Its not that much at all. I tell him not as bad as having a baby. I've had more test done in the last 1 then he has and I took like a champ not a worry in the world over what ever the blood test where for. He is baby when it comes to seeing the doctor and getting test done. He feels its the end of his life and then its nothing.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
I have never been scared to get any test done and I've had lots of test done when I'm sick and not sick. I've been pregnant twice now and they do a tone of blood testing, ultrasounds some of it need, not need never been scared or even nervous about passing them or them turning out good or bad. I don't worry over silly things like that till there is bad news or something is really wrong.
@ForSouls1234 (720)
• United States
2 Jun 12
We all get scared when we need to have tests done. I had a swollen lymph node in my neck and I had to have an M.R.I. or cat scan, I don't remember which but it was in this huge tube. I was literally shaking. I literally did think it was the end of my life because I didn't know what it was. And they never even called me to tell me I was fine, they didn't think it was necessary. I had to call them.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
1 Jun 12
Hi shybear, I had my gallbladder removed and fortunately have not
had any problems with that since then...however i have not had
problems with my liver so that my make different I am sure..
But I definately can understand your complaint...Not ALL men but
an awful lot of them are as you said are worst than women when it
come to issues like doctors and meds...etc...I don't know why
those issues will certainly bring those egos down..
Good luck to your husband and his up coming test...Hope everything
is ok....we must say extra prayer at times like this....
Good luck!!!!
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
1 Jun 12
Everyone is different after having to organs removed from your body. Some people they are fine the whole time after words and others aren't. All of his issues with his gallbladder as soon as it was out of him he was much better of course. He does from time to time like the doctor says you'll get some diarrhea because everything is moving slower through your body when processing food so some times you'll get a little bug that has work out of your body.
I don't pray I don't think it does anything at least not in my experiences of life. He is being baby and he knows it and I made it clear to him that I'm not taking it today. Mommy has enough of her plate for the day. With his gallbladder he was doing the same thing blowing it out of water more then what it was. Of course then he was in a lot more pain then he is now. He isn't really physcially hurting just doesn't feel good.
@ForSouls1234 (720)
• United States
2 Jun 12
Maybe this is just the thing he needs to wake up and see what he is doing to himself right? Having a baby on the way and he has already had two major organs removed and now he has a fatty liver? Ask him if he wants to see his children grow up ya know?
Where is his mothers brain buying him a fryer? I don't consider my husband his own boss when it comes to more common sense than men in some departments. I decide what we eat, if I didn't take charge years ago his blood pressure would still be through the roof. He has lost 40 pounds because of my - take none of his toddler food cravings - nonsense.
My mother in law, at 60, has the exact same problem with her new husband. They were just married a few years ago and he already has diabetes, a bypass and many problems related to his diet. She says if she doesn't buy it he will, I said let him buy it, then throw it out. Maybe he should be scared this time, it might be the scare he needs to revamp his diet.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
I don't have to say anything to him. He knows better I'm not his mommy. He did change his diet in October when he has his them removed which we knew nothing was wrong till you actually open someone up and look at them to see if something is wrong. He didn't know anything was wrong with liver either till that same time either. If he has know sooner he would have stopped years ago and acutally men are more likely then women and it doesn't mean your not eating healthy it just means your body isn't able to do or hand this kind of food. All people have fat in there liver and stuff it's just how much is too much. So it can happen to anyone even the healthiest person in the world.
Yes his mom bought him a frier she know she has been wanting one since college but we never have the money for it so she got it for him. Which is okay but of course he got frier happy since his birthday wasn't that long ago.
I'm not my husband's mother or his keeper. I'm his wife but I can't make him eat what ever it is I make. If I make and he don't want then he don't have to eat you can either starve or fix something else that is my house rule and it doesn't help that my husband grandparents spoil and make food that he can't have and of course my husband as a dummy doesn't have the heart to tell them he can't eat when they make it we have to remind them all of the time. But we don't know if its his diet that is doing it or if it's something else only more test will tell you if that is the case. Everyone has medical issues. even I do I'm not 100% healthy either. It doesn't help that I and my daughter we do need that stuff that he can't have because we are smaller people and have issues keeping up our weight and with my bring a pregnant again I need the extra protein. Since his blood test the first one we haven't done the second one yet probably won't for another 2 weeks when I go in for my next appointment he is doing better. I've gone back to making his lunch in the morning, normally I sleep in because I need the extra sleep but my daughter has picked that she wants to get up now at 7am before my husband has to leave to work so I make sure he actual food for work and not vending match off the cart food that he can get at work. Good thing is that he drinks plenty of water and milk which is good for him in a health food drinks and he doesn't drink which makes liver and processing foods that his gallbladder and appendix where used for. So the liver is doing more work know for the organs that are gone.
His gallbladder would work and stop working doctors don't know why this happen but it happens men a lot. Other wise then his liver being on the bad size he every healthy for age way healthier then I am.
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
1 Jun 12
It is so good that your husband can rely on your soothing and compassion to comfort him during his times of stress. I cannot imagine how he must feel knowing the kind of comfort and concern you have for his worries, even if they don't seem like worries to you. I imagine that you have trouble truly defining the measure of your love for him.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
1 Jun 12
No I don't have trouble with defining my love for my husband. He knows how much I love him even when he is crazy driving me crazy. I'm not worried about his health because at the moment there isn't anything to worry about. His doctor has said anything is really wrong with him or not. So I'm not going to make a big deal about a few test. I'm pregnant so the person that I'm worried about is my unborn son. My husband knows what he says or does some times irritates me and he doesn't think before saying them. He tends to be negative about a lot of things and I'm not. When he was sick in for 3 months getting test after test done. I didn't worry I went through all of his freaks out even on the day he had surgery. He is a baby at times which just makes him, him. I don't freak out easily about things when I don't know enough about what is going on to freak out about. I see it as if these test were that important the would do them like today not in what ever time frame that works for our family.
He knows he hit my hot button today. I even told him I won't hold back when something or someone is bugging me not even my own 16 month old daughter and being pregnant.
@RaiRaiRae (93)
• Philippines
2 Jun 12
well, men sometimes are so hard to read. why not talk to him and tell him everything. that way, he will know that you're dying to wring his neck sometimes.
@ShyBear88 (59285)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jun 12
NO he knows how I feel I'm every upfront with people about my feelings I don't hide that I make it every clear. If your pissing me off your the first person to know before anyone else. I told him before I even wrote this discussions. Anything I talk about on here I've done already.
