My brother.....my problem!

@jsae29 (1120)
Philippines
June 21, 2012 7:45pm CST
I'm really losing my cool with this brother of mine. He has long been our family's problem. He's always getting into trouble. He just couldn't do things right. And worst, he would always blame us for his failure. He'd always say that our parents are always favoring us. But that's not true! Our parents provided him with everything, and he got more than what we got. Now that we're all grown-up, and with families of our own...he's still the same. He had 2 wives already, the first one left for obvious reasons. His 2nd wife is a saint. She endures all his nagging, blaming and sometimes beating. I talked to him a lot of times before but he's not listening. He's so stubborn. What should I do with my brother?
2 people like this
7 responses
• India
22 Jun 12
Life is full of lessons and certain circumstances will make every one of us to learn something. I think he will learn everything by himself from his life. As a brother for you, you cannot force him or you cannot compel him and the the only thing his just point out those mistakes to him.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jun 12
all you can do with or for your brother jsae29 is love him...we can not change other people, we can only change our reaction and perspective toward him...he is your brother after all, and if you did not have your brother any more you would feel sad and regretful...maybe try to think of how you would feel in his position..what if you were the "family's problem", how would you want people to treat you! there is always hope, try to show love and help to your brother and try to convince other family members to do the same...it may make a difference and the family will be happy that they did...
1 person likes this
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
You're right, the only thing we can do is to love him and accept him for what he is. But sometimes he's just too annoying.
27 Jun 12
you really need to take charge and sit him down and tell him he really needs to stop and his wife needs to speak up too or leave him she shouldnt have to go through that. give him a wakeup call :(
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jun 12
It sounds to me as if maybe something in your brother's childhood had never really be resolved in him and he still feels the need to be the "upper" and get things "better" in his opinon. Maybe counseling would help? I am not sure. I know that this is all awful for you, and especially his wife. Of course asking him to go to counseling is a whole other subject.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jun 12
Hey someCowgirl, You are right. May the counselling will help him to be the best. I think your brother has little unwanted thinking in his mind and this was started from in his little ages and a counselor can get what are the problems in his mind and hope he can correct him.
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8517)
22 Jun 12
It is horrible when our siblings behave like this, and this is a stage that I went through with my own brother at one point. He just wouldn't behave, and he would go out and get drunk on a regular basis even though he cannot legally drink yet. I know that he is growing up a little bit now, but that doesn't make it any easier at the time. You should talk to him about the way that he's being, but at the end of the day he has to want to change for himself rather than for anybody else, and that is the only way that he is going to be able to make a difference.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41131)
• Delhi, India
22 Jun 12
It seems your parents are responsible for it.They are responsible to make him stubborn. Had they controlled him in childhood by love or scoldings may be he would have been a normal person like others.Or he became stubborn because he got whatever he demanded from parents. You can't do anything with him except counselling him. Or may be the time will come when he will understand it himself.
1 person likes this
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
I guess you're right, may parents are partly to be blamed for his behaviour. But I cannot blame my parents, growing up my brother was very sickly. So my parents would give in to anything he wants so as not to make him more sick.
@dansazz (1058)
• United States
22 Jun 12
Take him out to the woodshed and beat the hell out of him. Nobody should hit a woman over any circumstance.
1 person likes this
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
Funny! But I might consider you suggestion. No one has the right to hit anyone specially a woman.
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
8 Jul 12
Dear "colleague". Oh, how your costume looks like mine! Really! Read my discussion on the topic of my brother, and only then you will understand!