Got the call but it didn't make me feel the way I expected...

After a month without talking to him, my boyfriend was finally allowed to call. He talked to his mom first and then called me. Throughout the day I thought of so many things I wanted to say or ask but once I got the call things were so different. My boyfriend went on and on about everything they've done and I barely got to talk. He asked me what I've been up to and that he thinks about me a lot and misses me. I started to tear up a little on the phone and he asked why I was crying and if was happy or sad. I told him it was both and he asked why I was said and I told him that it's sad he's not here. That phone call didn't help me at all. His voice sounded deeper and different, he said he gained 15 pounds of muscle, and I just don't know how to feel. I think I'm just scared that since everything's so different now, that I'm worried he'll be different too. He said next week he'll get about an hour of phone time. Yesterday I only got to talk to him for 5 minutes and it made me feel worse than I did without a phone call. There's so much I wanted to say and ask and I didn't get to say any of it. Even he said he thought of things to say to me but once he was on the phone he froze up. It's been so long without talking that I really hope things haven't changed. He seemed to be the same, he talked on and on, but about everything he's done. I just wish I had more time to say what I had wanted to say. Maybe next week I'll be able to