Boyfriend won't take charge

June 27, 2012 2:42pm CST
Ok...I've been with my boyfriend for five years and I feel sometimes like we are more brother sister than boyfriend girlfriend. I love him to death but I feel like I'm his mom sometimes and he isn't doing anything to keep the relationship alive. We live together and I cook clean, pick up his clothes...EVERYTHING. Recently I put together a date night and this weekend I surprised him with a night away at a hotel and a fun day at a water park. He has never surprised me with a date night. Him just cleaning ONE time would make me happy. How would you bring this topic up? I love him but I need more from him, something to show he cares.
7 responses
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
27 Jun 12
I'd just tell him that we needed to talk, and tell all your concerns... that you're exhausted, you don't really feel affection from him (if that's why you miss date nights and stuff), he should help in the household chores. That's all. You shouldn't be that freaked out by bringing up this topic, I'm pretty sure this won't be the last quarrell/fight you are going to have later. One thing is important, that you should do the talk when you're calm, not when you become angry eith him for a remark he makes and then explode :).
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
Hi Kmesser451, It's better if you talk things out much that you are already 5 years, but some men doesn't really into surprises, when we women really love surprises. Just wanted to give you advice that sort things out whilst you still can. My boyfriend and I broke up, we had 6 years and 7 months. It's hard but when you figure out things will not work as we wanted, it is much better to let go rather than clinging on to a relationship that it wasn't meant to be. So don't waste time, have time to talk to him. Have a nice day ahead.
@512771751 (1096)
• China
2 Jul 12
Hello Kmesser, I have the same feeling as you. I always talk to my bf, tell him what I want he does and what he should do as a man. Maybe it is better for you to talk to your bf sincerely about your true heart. Don't close your heart, I think he loves you and will do everything for you.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
That`s quite difficult for you dear !! But you know, nothing will be solved if you don`t say anything. But trust me, he would`nt mind at all. Maybe he just forgets his responsibility because he thinks that you are quite responsible. Guys feels good when the girl needs them. It just depends on you on how you will express it. Just open it up seriously and sweetly at the same time. I hope you can do it !! good luck !!
@ivade0000 (225)
• France
28 Jun 12
Hello there, I think you really should talk this out with him first. You have been together for 5 years and he has been behaving that way for so long time already. If ever he can't change, then I will advise you to reconsider this matter seriously. I think you can also give him some advice about the things that normally he should do as a boyfriend and so on.
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I think being in love would mean a two way street and both partner should know also the meaning of give and take (compromise). Since you are already living together as husband and wife I think your boyfriend should know the duties and responsibilities of being a husband. And the way you described your relationship he is not acting like one. You should talk to him what you like him to do, maybe he thought that you like the present arrangement you are having. Tell your boyfriend all the things that you want him to do for you, like what a loving husband is supposed to do, the soonest the better.
28 Jun 12
Hi, you have to tell him what's really on your mind including all your expectations. There is nothing wrong if you tell what you honestly feel about those matters. You are already living together like husband and wife and so things like that need to talk about. If you don't bring that up, probably your boyfriend is thinking that it's all fine with you doing all those things.