people forcing me to "make friends" with them online
By cheerfulnuts
@cheerfulnuts (604)
Philippines
July 6, 2012 4:06am CST
A few years ago, I joined a Christian forum but hadn't participated much on it. After responding to a couple of posts, a guy sent me a message, asking me to give him my Facebook account. I checked his profile and he had no activities on that site. I ignored him.
Two years later, I went back to that forum to check if there's any interesting discussion to participate in. After I replied to a post, that same guy sent me a message again. Like what I did years ago, I didn't reply. Today, I received another message from him asking me to give him my Facebook.
Recently, I had joined a local forum. Not long after, a guy sent me a message and asked me my name. Since I wanted to be active on that site (in order to promote my blogs), I replied. I told him (in a nice way) that I prefer to stay anonymous. He got angry and threatened me. I asked him, "Did I do anything wrong? I want to stay anonymous. If you can't respect that, I dare you to post your real name with your real photo in the forum." He sort of apologized but still insisted in knowing my name. Anyway, since then, I have never replied to people that I do not know in the internet.
I really hate it when people don't respect my privacy and force me to make friends with them. Good thing I haven't posted my picture in these sites (or in any other site except Facebook LOL). Have you ever encountered such people on the net? If so, how did you handle it?
2 people like this
9 responses
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
You did the right thing. No one should not force you to do that, especially online, where we should all first think about our safety.
I did experience that kind of things too, but sometimes I do add them on my FB but I choose carefully who I want to befriend. Also, I have my FB account customized so I can group those people online apart from my personal informations. They can't view any post which I think is private.
I guess, you got yourself a persistent admirer online. LOL! ^___^ Which is actually scary most of the time! __
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Yes, I believe so too, Suni, but fortunately I haven't really encountered one but if i do encounter one I'll make sure I'll stand up to that person.
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
@niairen01, I don't think their my admirers LOL. I haven't uploaded my photo on those sites and I haven't revealed my age or anything that would me alluring. I know that sometimes, it's flattering when someone is interested in you even if it's just online. But I don't like that kind of attention because I'm very paranoid. I prefer dealing with real people. I do have some online friends though. They are bloggers that I've been following.:)
Good thing we can customize the privacy settings on our FB accounts. This way, we can add more friends without worrying about revealing too much about ourselves. Thanks for your response.:)
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
6 Jul 12
The best way..is you just ignore him, delete his msg immediately. I don't give my real name, my facebook ID to a person who i don't know. There are many scams on the internet so that i should know that person is good or not. if i sent YM id already and do chat but i feel that he/she is not nice, i may put their id in ignore list also...I really want to spend time with real friends only.
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Yeah, you're right. I ignored the first guy completely, and even if he still send me messages, I feel safe. I've replied to the second guy (because I wanted to promote my blogs). When he started to harass me, I said no and had stopped replying to him.
It's really nice to spend time with real people, though I do have a few online friends who are bloggers like I am. Thanks for your response.:)
@sjvg1976 (41132)
• Delhi, India
7 Jul 12
Hi cheerfulnuts,
I agree that its our wish with whom we want to have friendship and with whom we may not nobody is allowed to force us to do so.
You did a right thing i would have done the same thing if i were in your place.Sometimes it is harmful when you give your identity to a person online who you don't know. 
You did a right thing i would have done the same thing if i were in your place.Sometimes it is harmful when you give your identity to a person online who you don't know. @cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
Thanks sjvg1976.:) It's important to not reveal any info about ourselves on the internet. We never know what some people are capable of doing.
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
6 Jul 12
Yes, I've had to deal with that kind of thing. People do ask all kinds of personal questions. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Maybe he wanted you. Some guys don't know how to act and get frustrated maybe. Then it will come out in anger? I try not to let the few dicate everything because there are really nice guys out there too that aren't like that. Always though certainly they are your own rules and can decide what they are.
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
My guess is these guys don't have many friends in real life. They've been rejected so they try their luck online where they're anonymous. When people ignore them, they get more frustrated and react violently. Perhaps some people who make friends online are nice, but there's really no way to know. Those who are persistent tend to be stalkers.
@seriousnuts (508)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Hi cheerfulnuts. It's a good thing that these persistent people remain in the virtual world. They can only reach you online, which makes it easy for you to avoid them. What you did is right. Ignore, and nothing could happen to you. I have some experiences like that but I don't think they're as persistent as the guys you've mentioned.
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
Yeah, good thing they remain in the virtual world. Though it bothered me when I was threatened by the second guy. So yeah, I think it's better to never reply to these people so that nothing would happen. Thanks for your response seriousnuts.:)
@sherrybelle (707)
• United States
6 Jul 12
I don't respond to "pushy" or demanding people in person or online.
If I do reply to their messages....
I am honest and direct enough to tell them that. I know how to shut it down.
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
When I replied to the second guy and told him I can't give him my name, I got a few angry replies from him. It was my first time to be threatened online (I wasn't threatened by the first guy whom I haven't replied to). It didn't feel good and it bothered me for a while. I got paranoid that he would somehow find out my real identity (even if I didn't add any info to my profile). After that, I learned that ignoring such people is the best way in dealing with them. Thanks for your response.:)
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Just ignore those kind of people.
i also had same experience with one writing site.
This writing site has chat features but chatting won't give you earnings.
The chat feature is only to give members access to chat and know each other the easy way.
So, this one member keep asking my facebook account, but I told him I am not active on that site and that i am only keeping my facebook account for sharing my articles and views that gives me earnings.
Then this guy (not sure if he is a guy) says something that really annoys me.
Till then I keep offline from that writing site each time I check and submit my articles...
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Wow, I think the chat feature is pretty cool. Too bad that person misused it. I wonder if he harasses other writers too.
After my encounter with these people, I've become more careful about the things I post on the forums. I use a different email add on these sites so in case they try to stalk me, there's nothing in my profile that would lead them to my personal Facebook account.
Thanks for your response jaiho2009.:)
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
What I mean is that they're very persistent. They keep on sending me messages even if I've ignored them or have refused to give any info about myself. I've never added them on Facebook. Thanks for your response.:)
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
6 Jul 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this. Making friendship is our wish, no one have the ability to force us to make friendship with them, i too got a lot of unwanted requests in this sort, i simply ignore them, but till today no one threaten me like this. Just block him in that site, if you are friend with him
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
I'm not friends with them. Unlike in myLot, these sites don't allow you to add people as "friends". You just see the members' profiles and you can read their posts and send them private messages. I didn't put any detail on my profile that would reveal my real identity. I've even used a different email add. I did indicate that I'm a female on my profile, so maybe they tried their luck and wished that I'm a very attractive one. I didn't block them because the first guy had multiple accounts on the forum (and I don't even know what his other usernames are) and the second guy was a "guest" to that site.
Thanks for your response.:)
