My friend problem bothering me

@Zhizho (1352)
Indonesia
July 9, 2012 1:06am CST
Hi. I know, every one need friends for share happyness and sadness. I can't imagine how life without friends. But, sometimes, some problem of my friends who like to share with me sometimes bothering me. They told about how heavy the problem, How pain her feeling etc, it make me uncomfortble and affect my mood. I try to help them by listening them, discuss looking for solution, etc, but there is someone of them who sent me masseges every time untill night when we have to sleep. Now, I was tired to listen her and stop to reply her messege. do you think, I am a bad friends for her? I don't want to be bad friend. but really now, I avoid her. i don't know for how long.
1 person likes this
7 responses
• India
9 Jul 12
Hello zhizho, You are surely not a bad friend at all. It is good that you listen to your friends and try to resolve their issues. But you have your personal life as well. Your friends also need to understand this. Well, you must talk to your friend and tell her that you do care for her, but she needs to give you some space.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 12
Hello indeer. Maybe you are right that i have to tell her that i need time without some problem included her problem. But I worry that she will uncomfortable with me. But now, I think she has knew because I did not reply her messege and live at my other house for a month. I really need time to relaks. Thanks for share your opinion.
@jricky1 (6809)
• China
9 Jul 12
Everybody may encounter this problem and i hope that can find the right way to just solve that.It is really normal to make that happen.So what needs is the understanding and trust.Good luck to you and your friend.Remember to treat someone good that really cares you.
1 person likes this
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 12
Hi jricky. Thanks for your support. For now, i really don't want involved to problems of my friends so far. Before, I try to be patience listening and accompany few friends who have hard problem untill they already get the solution. Thinking what step that they have to do even day by day and usually, they need a long time, thanks god, glad to know that their problem was happy ending. maybe they can be patient and me too. but now, I can't. feel weak and need me time.LOL
@davaome (1828)
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
Don't bring yourself down. You actually did a good job as a friend. You must remember that you have a life too, your life doesn't revolve around your friends and their problems alone, you have your own problems to worry as well. Like sleeping or for your example getting tired of hearing what she's saying. as her friend, you did your part but it seems it wasn't enough, because there are things that you cannot control, I think the problem is within herself. No one else can solve the problem for her except herself. You don't have to worry about it because you did what a good friend would have done. Just remember, you didn't do anything wrong except avoiding her. Don't avoid her if she really is your friend.
1 person likes this
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 12
Hi davaome. I like read your respond and it make a positif for me. Not because I think that I am right and she wrong. but I did what I have to and now I really need positif condition, positif aura and spirit. I am pregnance and maybe I can not hold my mood to always positif front if her but can not tell that I think enough for share. Honestly I really appreciate that some friends believe me to share their problen and told me that they need my opinion but once again maybe because I am in pregnance and a little weak and unmood for now. Tha.ks davaome.
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
friends share their stories to each other. and what truly defines a friend is someone who listens and lends a hand when one friend is in need. friends are open to each other. that's why i can imagine your friend telling you her problems and feelings because she knows that you will be there for her in these times of need. it may be difficult, but friendship is tested like this.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 12
Hi mensab. I have thinking about it so that is way I make it topic here and wait for your thought. But, not mean to self defense, maybe because she share day by day about same problem and I think she not be patient enough to face the solution. she have no doing maximal yet. only tell and tell. I appriciate before that she believe me to told her problem even her family does not know it. But I do nit want to involved so far. it's about she and her husband and she. And I pregnance now and neet positif condition.
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
I don't think you area bad friend. Sometimes we have to think of ourselves first before others. (although not always) Based on what you wrote,I think your friend's vibes and aura is starting to bring you down. It is important for our well-being to surround ourselves with happy people to keep sunny outlook in life.
1 person likes this
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 12
Hi khizzette. I like your respond. I need input and glad to know that I am not bad friend for her because I have trying to help her maybe because she share un finish problem although I have help her to looking for solution but she still feel good today and come tomorrow with same problem. Now, I want spirit and positif atmosphere. Thanks a lot
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
11 Jul 12
do you use blackberry for your facebook?? so when she send message for you midnight, it makes ring in your phone??
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
10 Jul 12
I agree with you. Life without good friends would be very difficult. It's nice to have someone that we can talk with and that will be there for us. Everyone has a life and we have to respect our friends life. So you aren't wrong she has to be reasonable in what she expects of you.