I need to learn to relax...
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
July 20, 2012 4:52pm CST
A few weeks ago I started a discussion that my friend wasn't speaking to me anymore. She just stopped communicating, that's all. Now we're talking and stuff, still good friends, and it wasn't me that caused her not to talk to me, just her personal family life. So here I was freaking out because I'm so used to people rejecting me and as a result I closed in on myself and just stuck with people that my husband knew to be on the safe side. And even Hubby's friends - or acquatiances - blocked me on their facebook because I wasn't holy enough for them or something. So with my "track history" so to speak I just automatically assumed things were the same because it was happening to me all these years. She is a lovely person, and accepts me for me, and not one of Hubby's churchy acquatiences, so I'm trying to relax. Well, a few people that are Hubby's friends are genuine and accept me for me and to them I'm Izzy, not Hubby's wife, so that's pretty cool.
My social skills aren't up to par because of the way I was raised (the social worker got me out of that foster home to another more reasonable home) so that could be why I can't relax...so much going through my head.
2 people like this
7 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jul 12
Hey, that is what Shabbat is for, relaxing and refreshing ourselves..
You know, I can relate to those who delete you because they can't accept you. I have had many who deleted me because they don't understand me and yeah it hurts, but I wonder when it is all over, when the truth hits home, what will become of them? There is nothing we can do except move forward in Him..
You know, I can relate to those who delete you because they can't accept you. I have had many who deleted me because they don't understand me and yeah it hurts, but I wonder when it is all over, when the truth hits home, what will become of them? There is nothing we can do except move forward in Him..
@GardenGerty (157674)
• United States
20 Jul 12
Some people are just running in circles inside their heads all the time and it makes them appear compulsive and needy. I will admit, when I do not hear from some of my friends for a long time, then I get to thinking those old negative and insecure thoughts myself.
I am really glad that your friend has gotten back to you and that you understand it was not something personal, just something going on in her life.
We need to have people we trust and communicate with. On our own, not as someone's wife or daughter or mom, just as who we really are.
I am really glad that your friend has gotten back to you and that you understand it was not something personal, just something going on in her life. We need to have people we trust and communicate with. On our own, not as someone's wife or daughter or mom, just as who we really are.1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
20 Jul 12
Ya, it feels nice to have people that know me as Izzy, and she treats me like her equal and I know it doesn't seem much to most people but to me it's a huge deal. We do have a family friend, I actually grew up with him and known him since I was five and Hubby met him through me, and he kinda morphed into our family type thing, but there's time we don't hear from him for a month or so then we'd call each other and hook up for a picnic or a meal. So I guess that's one other person that I know that I didn't go through my husband...LOL now listen to me thinking out loud now, eh? Guess I'm realising how blessed I really am.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (215889)
• Chile
20 Jul 12
Hi friend,
I´m so glad that you found out that your friend was not mad at you or anything, although it is very sad that she has had problems. Don´t worry about being "Hubby´s wife" with his friends: it always happens. But think that your hubby is Izzy´s hubby to your friends
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
20 Jul 12
I have had the same problem when I have lost contact with friends. It was especially hard after I had my child, who is now 3. I had a hard time reconciling my new role as mommy with trying to maintain the same level of a social life.
I still see my old friends on occasion and it is nice to see them and catch up, but I have cultivated new friendships that are more kid friendly. I have made friends with other mommies, and have a group of "game night" friends who accept that games may have to take a 10 minute break to go break up fights between children, or to take a potty break.
I have learned that a good easy read book, your favorite beverage and a hot bath can do wonders to put those pesky thoughts in the back of your mind.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
20 Jul 12
I am glad your friend is back in your life again. I do the same thing. When someone does not talk to me for some reason I think I must have done something to upset them. I hate that feeling!
I am so happy for you that you have your friend and it was nothing you did.
@shaqziad (655)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 12
Good for you she still a friend of yours. treat her well. Not many people will accept you the way you are. Religions sometimes cause people to distrust each other, but remember it is not the religion's fault, but the followers that fanatically misinterpretating the religion. Relaxing do need some practice.
