Giving Freely Verse Being Asked

@MoonGypsy (4613)
United States
September 9, 2012 5:27pm CST
it's one thing to give to people and family members of your own free will. it's another thing to be asked. take me for example, i came to the conclusion that i would rather give freely than be asked. if i see a homeless person on the street, i would rather give because i want to. it feels totally different when they ask me for it. at that point, whether i give or not is irrelevant. it is not coming from the same giving spirit. if i see a family member in need and want to help that it one thing. for some reason, if they ask me for help it is not the same. at that point it feels like an obligation. it feels like i am being pressured to submit to that obligation. i wonder if that is a flaw in my personality. i think i resent people asking things of me. maybe because i have come to resent it. people have asked so much of me and what little i have had in the past. it come with enormous, overwhelming pressure. people asking things of me feels like i am being, "called". this is supposed to feel good, but it doesn't. it just triggers the words, pressure, burden. how do you feel when something is being asked of you verses you giving freely?
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