Just how do we help a person get over someone?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
September 14, 2012 12:49pm CST
I feel for a friend who has been really "hooked" or in love with this guy. They were together when they were in school. It has been 4 years since they were no longer a couple but she remains hooked with him and is really showing signs that she has no intentions of moving on even if it clearly shows that the guy is just playing with her feelings, and time, and emotions in general. I am able to say this because this guy would remember to call her whenever he does not have a date with other women, or when he does not have any gathering to attend to on weekends... My friend would alamost always be the last option, and he knows she would accept the invitation... and it bothers me to think that she allows herself to be in such a position that this guy is already making it even harder for her. I know she's to be blamed because she allows himself to be treated as a doormat! But sometimes this guy treates her really well, sends her sweet messages to keep her hopes up. All i know is that she is to be in the losing end in this situation - I just can't seem to find the best words to say to heer to make her realize she is worth more than what this guy is giving her. =( Can you all tell me, or give me words, nor advise that i could use with her so she will realize her worth? Im lost for options!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@celticeagle (159105)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
So this guy is basically using your friend and preying on her emotions. It sounds like your freind is dysfunctional as far as her boundaries go. She needs to move on. If I was her freind I would find every opportunity to take her to other eventws and keep her as busy as possible. That way she may be able to move on and atleast not be so available to him. He is going to use her as long as it is good for him and she could get very much more hurt than she is already unless she gets out there and lives alittle and maybe finds someone else.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
the truth is she has not found the way yet... to totally get over this guy and move on completely and know how she can move on without even thinking of getting together with this guy. i feel she is not listening to me because she still hopes and she still thinks there is no other guy for her. =(
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159105)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Sep 12
And that does take some time. I would just keep inviting her out and try to get her to not dwell on him so much. If she is out and about more she may meet someone or atleast not dwell on him.
@fatlex06 (895)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
Tsk tsk. I think what you just have to do is to tell her and advice her TO HELP HERSELF. You can't help her if her mind is closed. What you can just do is to stay by her side and always be there for her. But when it comes to decisions on how to get over this guy, it will be hers not really yours. Tell her to be strong and don't waste her life for that guy. Maybe the guy moved on so she must moved on too. Tell fix herself and be prepared for her real prince charming will be arriving soon. But she must really help herself. All of this will be useless if she wants to keep herself in that way.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
she is really one stubborn woman. oh yeah i have told her countless times and have even told her that she is starting to annoy me already with the repetitive whines she is telling me about this love of hers, she has to have this start with her life!!! ah i don't really know anymore how to reach the bottom of her mind!!! just so i could drill it down to her.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I don't think there is anything that you can do for this individual. Getting over an ex or getting away from someone that is bad for you is all in the mind of that person. There is nothing you can say or do to make them do otherwise, even if that is the best for them. I know I know, because there wasn't a thing anyone could tell me about my children's father when I was with him, no matter how much he cheated on me. In fact it took him leaving me to break us up. And I bet if you think about it hard enough, when you were with your cheating boyfriend there wasn't a thing that anyone could tell you to break up with him until you were ready.
All I'm saying is, even though its been 4 years, your friend won't come out of it until she is ready. And the best you can do is be a good friend and her support when she needs it.
