Do we really move on from something/someone completely?

@chiyosan (29383)
Philippines
September 14, 2012 1:52pm CST
Just another discussion brought about by my own experience, or feelings. I know and i feel that we can move on from something or someone... but to say that we have completely moved on is another thing. Like, a perfect example is that when we hear a song that you and your ex loved before... even if you have "moved" on from him... you still smile, or feel some pain, or perhaps sadness and think of your memories back then. Does this feeling that comes to you from the past mean that you have not fully moved on from this person, or experience? I think it is one sign that you have not forgotten it yet, but rather you have only had it set aside in your heart. It is really hard to explain, but i hope that you can all relate to what i was trying to say in here. perhaps if you have experienced this, you would know where i am coming from.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@oyomesan (115)
• Netherlands
16 Sep 12
I think, when you really go for someone/something, you give it your everything. Your heart, your soul, your mind, your emotions, your thoughts... with this in mind, I think it's unlikely to be able to move on from someone or something. Because if you could just move on, did it really mean that much to you then? Or you're blocking your feelings, which is possible of course. But it doesn't mean no memories will affect your anymore.
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@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
hi oyomesan, wow i think that is a good way to look at it, well that is true when you said if we are able to move on from something or someone easily then it did not mean as much to us. i guess that is probably right, the more we are sucked into someone the more it is harder to pull back from it. :D
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Well I've heard a statement from a friend of mine. He said that "We don't really or actually move on to something/someone. Because its really impossible to easily forget something/someone who used to be important in our life." :)
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
oh i guess we really do not move one completely.. if we do not forget.. maybe we cannot really forget something that has made an impact in our lives... but perhaps if we do not dwell on these things, we are still able to move forward and live our lives?
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Hi chiyosan, this is a really good discussion and I would like to share my two cents about it. In my opinion, moving on is completely different from forgetting. One person can moved on without completely forgetting. Moving on is more about acceptance. I have moved on from my previous relationship because I have accepted the fact that my ex-boyfriend and I can never be together. However, I have not forgotten about our memories, especially the good ones. Yes, sometimes, these memories can make me happy or sad. But I choose not to forget those because it's part of my life, it's part of who I am today. And I am not ashamed to admit that I still have those memories because it wouldn't make me less of a person that I am. I have moved on in terms of accepting that despite the fact that the person who used to make me happy can never make me happy anymore, there is still a big possibility that someday, someone will come along to make me happy. I think that is moving on.
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@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
You have quite made a good point in here lady. Yes, that is true we can and we are all moving on from something, and someone and yet we do not forget.. everything that goes along with that person and dream... you said it well that moving on comes with acceptance. I guess when one tries to move on, we should reach that part where we accept the things that happened and accept that it can no longer be the same and so it is the essential part that would make us go ahead and move forward. Perhaps that is the best explanation to it, when you accept - you move on. If you still dwell on that something and is still trying to hold on to it - then you are not moving on but rather holding on...
@narnia007 (1051)
• India
15 Sep 12
Yes,I agree with you.I could not completely move from my ex-girlfriend.We were in love for 3 years and after which we broke for reason that would be too much to explain here.It is been 2 years from my break up,initially I had trouble sleeping and all the sad nights,then I began to overcome it and I started to live my life happily.But still at some days,when I go to the place where we first met,her thoughts come to me and even more worse is that I am unble to see one romantic film,because after I see it,that night will be another sleepless night with thoughts of her.In the past the thoughts were very sad as she had left,but now the thoughts are like only the happy moments with her and I smile to myself,when the sad thought starts,I quickly come out of it and start to enjoy what is around me.I don't know if it is because of my first love,I am still unable to move on completely.Anyone experienced more than 2 breakups will be able to tell.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
hi there narnia... i think what you have experienced was really painful. sometimes the thought that we have lost someone we so greatly love and has build our world around that person has made everything a bit more magnified and so we still live in that world where we could not move on completely. i am assured though that even if i have and can relate to your situation as i have had such a break up too.. when you hang on to the idea that you have and will find that person meant for you - you will be happy and would just think of the other person as part of your life that has made you who you are - and only the good times will remain in your mind.
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
15 Sep 12
I have moved on completely from my ex girlfriends... I have a daughter & I feel lucky to have her... But i haven't thought about my ex or when something reminds me of her, I don't feel anything, no anger or sadness or even happiness that we broke up... At this point, she means no more to me than a stranger walking down the street... Don't get wrong, I don't hate her or anything, like I said, I don't really feel anything towards her... I care about her as I do any other human being... When I see a random car accident, I do hope everyone involved in it were ok... But there's no personal connection... That's how I feel about my exes...
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@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
that is actually the best thing to ever happen with our exes, is for us to completely move on from them. i think we do need to be able to have this feeling that they do not matter anymore and even if we see them, we do not care at all. for me, that is the best moving on "case closed".
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@kemak28 (738)
• United States
14 Sep 12
I agree, I don't think we ever completely move on because those events or people helped shape the person we are today. I have moved on from an old boyfriend and am happily married now with a family but that doesn't mean that I don't think of that person from time to time or am reminded of them from a song, place or food even.
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@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
hi there kemak. thank you so much for your response to the discussion. the thing is that you are right, i guess and that i somehow what i felt... not sure though because sometimes i know and feel i have moved on completely.. but then over a time i would remember things or memories... more like remembering the person and not the feeling - i forgot how it felt.. was it close to not moving on??
@kongno (431)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
in my own experience,... maybe because of the reason that it was my fault that our relation did not work i still regret my decision to end up our relationship with my ex even though that was already 17 yrs ago,...
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
sorry to hear about that kongno. no matter what happened, i think it is bound to happen anyway. we can only do move on right now and face our life, and look forward to what it can give us. the thing that we probably are not 100% happy because there is the regret we feel. wrong decisions, happen but let us just try to face and learn from it.
@kongno (431)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
the lesson i learned is the only consolation i have now, so with that i am now more careful in making decisions, after all that was the only decision i made that i have regret in my whole life,...
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
thankyou kongno for sharing this with us, and it is an honor that we are reading your reply.. i guess this also will help us be more careful and think of what we might be faced with if we decide on something.