My 2 1/2 year old doesn't realize she has other grandparents
By sedel1027
@sedel1027 (17846)
Cupertino, California
September 18, 2012 1:25am CST
I don't know how I feel about this or even what to do.
My parents call every week, we Skype all the time, they send gifts here & there. We see them at least once a year.
My husband isn't very close to his family. We haven't seen his Dad and Step Mom in over 2 years. A few weeks ago he got a text from his Dad, but they haven't actually talked in several months. We saw his Mom and Step-Dad briefly over Christmas, maybe twice. Every once and while they will call each other. He hasn't talked to her in about 2 months. They really make no effort at all.
Earlier today we were talking about family. My son told my daughter that she has 3 grandmothers. She said 'no I have 1 and 1 pawpaw and 4 cousins'.
I told me husband and all he did was shrug. I knew both my sets of grandparents, but I was a lot closer to my grandmother on my Mom's side. We were there a lot. My Dad is super close to his parents, but they lived 30 minutes away. We would see them once a month. My husband sort of knew 1 set of his grandparents, but his Dad was in the Navy when he was younger so they moved around often. His parents divorced when he was 10. So he didnt know his Dads parents at all. Really from how he was treated by his parents, he doesn't feel like they are family,
My son is super close to my parents. I live that my daughter is the same way. Honeslty I feel guilty that we don't live closer right now and that she won't have as great of memories as my son does.
I know my husbands Mom is hurt at least a little that the kids aren't closer to her, but I don't know what to do, I'm not particularly close to her. So I'm not comfortable calling her or anything like that. She tries to push the issue with my husband but he doesn't budge.
Should I just let things be how they are?
2 responses
@MelanieMay (102)
• Philippines
22 Sep 12
I think it depends upon how you feel about it. :) I think kids are pretty resilient, and though right now she doesn't seem to realize that she has other sets of grandparents, she will learn. It's just that your parents are the one only ones she sees often, so she can only identify with them. Since your husband grew up not really knowing his grandparents, he probably thinks that it's okay if your kids doesn't really bond with his parents too. But if you want your kids to know all of their grandparents, and it's important to you, maybe you can initiate the effort. You can help your husband realize the importance of this family bonding and he'll come around. :)
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
22 Sep 12
I'm sure one day she will realize tat she gets gifts from their people and will ask lol My family, my entire family, s super involved. I think if we moved back, nothing would nchange. Before we left my husband maybe saw his mom twice a year. We would see my family at least once a week.
Oh, it's really too late for all that with his family. The only one he likes at this point is his sister who totally changed her life around. His Dad and step-Mom are they'its our way or the highway' type. The only kid in their good graces s 1 of his younger sisters. So we dont get to see his 2 youngest sisters.his step-dad is a good intentioned guy. His mom is smart, but not reliable. His youngest brother is the same way. My husband is still mad that he volunteered to help us move from Texas to California after the military decided to force move us, we paid $700 for the tickets. Since he missed his flight all we could get was credits for the flights. He didn't pay us back AND used the airline credits to fly to Colorado for a camping trip. He has another sister who is currently living in Brazil who somewho still meddles in other people's business. just got engaged, getting married in Brazil and is mad he told her we can't come unless they wait several years. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
19 Sep 12
hi sedal, I am not sure how unusual that situtation os...I
thinl it probably happens a lot more than we realize..
But I think its ok,,,I am sure your mother in-in-law may be
a little hurt and you a little uncomfortable, but I would
actually leave it alone...Thing have a way of working themselves
especially if its meant to be...
Good luck, go one with your life and if its ot not that important
to your hubby, then don't you stress it..Just keep the lines
of communination open...
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
22 Sep 12
Thanks. You are right. I know I can't force the issue. I should be great full my kids have one set of grandparents who care. Many do not even have that.
