Desperate for Children vs. Finding Mr. Right

September 30, 2012 8:05pm CST
Today I was at a wedding and it got me wondering. Lately, I have been starting to experience what people call "my biological clock ticking." For some reason, I feel that now would be a great time to reproduce. However, I am boyfriendless and need more financial stability before I can ever make such an endeavor. However, a few months ago, I had a relative who got married. She wanted children so badly that everyone suspected that the only reason why she married this man (who is not the greatest husband in the world) was so that she could have children. Basically, that she was so desperate that she was using him because he was easy to get married to (he had already had a child from a previous marriage). Do you think this is true? Can a woman's biological clock have enough influence on her where she puts having children before marrying Mr. Right?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Traycee (34)
• United States
6 Oct 12
Maybe, but, it takes a man to reproduce...usually. But, think about this, wouldn't you rather your child grow up with a mom AND a dad? It might be unfair to the child to not have a dad. It would also be kind of selfish. You know the answer, you said it at the begining of your question "boyfriendless and financial stability". You're a smart girl!! Women these days are having babies in their 40's. Be prepared for a child before you have one!! Good Luck!
• Canada
5 Oct 12
It wouldn't be fair to the husband especially for the child..I've never heard such thing but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen..Marriage is supposed to be a sacred union from God and you want to spend the rest of your life with that person because you love each other .It's insulting to God to use marriage for the wrong reason and giving marriage a bad name..Marriage is hard work and we need to be honest with ourselves and to the other person .If she is truly being dishonest,then that's not a very good way to bring a child into this world..
@riyauro (6431)
• India
1 Oct 12
it is wrong i think. Because I have never heard of biological clock in my life and I have not heard anyone getting married because they want a child. For me the thought of it looks crazy. One must be in love first to get married. One can have child without getting married as well, if they are so desperate. ..Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@GemmaR (8527)
1 Oct 12
I think you need to remember that if you have a child, you owe it to that child to find somebody who you get on well with so that you would be able to raise the child between you very well. If you marry somebody who is not right for you then you wouldn't be able to give your child the kind of life that they deserved. You should forget about your biological clock for the moment and just try to get out there and meet people. We normally meet people when we least expect it, so it is well worth getting out there and meeting new people.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
1 Oct 12
If she did for that reason... that's selfish isn't? There are people that even put a stranger man before their already born children so there are all sorts of people. I hope she didn't put that before because if we don't find the right guy the kids might suffer and it's unfair to bring them if we are not at least 51%sure the guy is a good guy.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
1 Oct 12
Yes 'the notion of a woman having a 'biological clock' can influence the timing of a marriage, and the motive for marrying a man. Given the reality that marriage does not equate to love, then anyone can get married for whatever the reason available. In addition, divorces can be had at anytime; if the legal arrangement (that marriage entails) does not suite the individuals in the marriage. Therefore getting Mr. Right can be placed on the 'back burner' of the hierachy of choice, when marriage is concerned.., and that is a fact.
@Raine38 (9036)
• United States
1 Oct 12
We always get these kind of talks. When you reach your twenties, people say you should get married. After getting married, people say you should start having kids. I say it's not up to society's standards or "schedule" that we should follow, but whatever is our heart's desire. We know our own minds, bodies, and capabilities and we know what's good for us. If we start letting this dictate us, we will never truly know ourselves or be happy.
@violann (437)
• United States
1 Oct 12
I think marrying someone other than for love of that person is wrong. As far as having a child because you think you biological clock is ticking is also wrong. Having a child is a lifetime commitment not something you do because you think you should. A child is a lot of responsibility and requires a lot of love and patience's. So before someone marries, have children it needs to be for the right reasons and not a passing fling or because you feel you need to.