This is the real me!

October 15, 2012 8:10am CST
"WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER".. - we all know that. But why is that sometimes the people around me misunderstood the way i act?, and even they still don't know me, they easily make judgments about me, as if they knew me for a very long time.. I forgot to mention that I was already at my first year in college, and i was at the stage in looking for new friends, i mean for "NEW GOOD FRIENDS". I already have few friends, but, the BIG BUT is that even we are just getting to know each other's personality, still, conflicts cannot be avoided.. I was really a quite person specially when i was with those i still do not know that much and as what i have said, they misunderstood it. they thought i was an unfriendly person. and it's just because i was quite when i'm with them and i cannot join with their discussions..
2 people like this
6 responses
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
If you feel you have difficulties in looking for real friends, maybe you could adjust a little by relaying a positive attitude. Sometimes, a person that is quiet most of the time is misinterpreted as a snob. I was pretty similar like you when I was younger. What I did was to associate myself more with others and try to lessen the "quietness and solitude". Well, it helps! I didn't totally change, coz there are times that I am also just not in the mood to be around people. But if my friends are with me, I try to be more approachable to them.
26 Oct 12
actually I was really trying to avoid being so quite.. But It was so irritating that when there is a day that I was not quite, like I was becoming more talkative, they usually ask me "What's happening to you?".. I really don't know what should i do!!? TNX FOR YOUR COMMENT! :)
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I think you should just learn how to balance things. Maybe your are going to the extremes that is why your friends would give you that reaction when you are being more associative. Just take it slow and don't be too harsh on yourself.
27 Oct 12
definitely!!.. but it was just so easy for me to say that it was the right thing to do, but i cannot do it permanently.. like if i would say that i would do it, sometimes i would still forgot about it..
@jdalaqui (1074)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Sometimes people immediately associate something negative things to a person they just meet. How do people interpret the new person? By the way she or he talks, walk, smile, laugh or anything he/she does. For me, it is a kind of challenge when someone misinterprets my actions and then conclude that I am really what they think. So what should I do, I just need to keep quiet and show them that I am as unique as anybody else. Why should I be affected by what they say? As long as I am doing the right thing, my life will go normal as usual.
27 Oct 12
i remember someone from your comments , she also said it that way.. actually this girl i think was the most kind friend of me in school .. even just on the first day that we met, i really feel her kindness.. and i also told her about my problem and that's what exactly she said!! :) so thank you very much for your comment ! i appreciate it !
@estremms (324)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
There are really people like that, we always say that we are unique individuals but a lot of us can't respect a person's individuality. People talk behind our backs because we can't be what they want us to be. I guess it's how people are.
27 Oct 12
yeah . they easily make judgments about someone.. as what i was always thinking, "They should first look at themselves before they look at others "..
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
hello there! I guess you don't have to feel that bad after all. You don't need to try so hard just to get close to those people around you. No matter how quiet you are, if you can find good friends, I mean REAL FRIENDS, they'll make you speak up. There is no need for you to be someone else in their eyes just to simply "fit in". It's YOU, right. And there is nothing else you must to but to stay the same and to somehow make a little adjustment IF NEEDED. That is to avoid the CONFLICTS that may arise because of your silence. Friendship is a matter of trust and acceptance. Being a quiet type of person is the total opposite of someone being so tactless and talkative. No matter how openly they say what's in their minds, it is not a guarantee that all the people around them really like them. Stay Cool! Take time to get to know the people around you. You'll see you'll simply get along without so much effort on your part. Good Luck!
26 Oct 12
TNX FOR YOUR COMMENT! it really fits my situation! :) I was not the person which is "UNFRIENDLY" .. it's just so happen that i was choosing those people whom i would make friends, and i would like to know them first.. because if i'm gonna have my friends, i want that i would have them for long..
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
15 Oct 12
You already answered it--because all of us have different opinions. What's right for you might be nasty for them. But that alone shouldn't explain why a person becomes judgmental. We really can't help but encounter people who are narrow and closed-minded that anything out of their definition of ordinary is unacceptable. You are right in seeking better friends; we cannot change everyone for the better even though we try hard to. Sooner or later they will learn their lesson. But that doesn't mean you cannot enjoy your life now in the company of new friends who truly understand you.
16 Oct 12
i think i would agree with that.. if others don't want or do not understand us, we shouldn't be mad at them, instead we should just find those real friends who can accept on who are we.
• United States
15 Oct 12
When I am at work and certian people are there I am always quiet and in a reserved stare. often times people will mention how I am not talking to others. I find some topics out of order to talk about. I was also quiet in schol sometimes and people were not friendly and said I thought i was better than everyone else. that was not true about me at all. I figured it was not the best time for me and those were not the best people to be around.
16 Oct 12
it is so true that sometimes we think of it that some people around us are not the best to be with. but even we know that, it shouldn't be the reason for us to hate them just because they don't want the way they act.. we should still treat them as friends.. just what i was doing.. by the way thanks for your response!