The sadness is coming back again
By courtknee525
@courtknee525 (3742)
United States
November 13, 2012 4:04pm CST
As some of you may know, my boyfriend is in the army and currently in Korea. He's been gone a month already and I've been doing a lot better since he left.
I get to talk to him everyday and I think that really helps. During the day I either work or do schoolwork at home so my mind is always busy somehow when I'm not able to talk to him. Every once in a while though I do get a little sad when it hits me that he's so far away.
I was skyping with him last night and things were going really well but then I just got to thinking of how badly I wanted to be with him in person instead of always in pictures or skype. I just couldn't help but cry for a few minutes. I hate doing that in front of him because I try so hard to stay strong and not let him see what him being away does to me. I know he felt bad that I was crying and he did his best to try and cheer me up and make me feel better.
I'm a bit better today but I'm still kind of sad just thinking about him and how I can't be with him for his birthday next week. I did send out a package last week so hopefully he'll be getting it soon and I'll be happy when I watch him open it.
I'm not trying to whine or complain, but it just helps me feel a little better when I can share how I'm feeling with someone. Hearing other peoples' stories makes me feel like I'm not alone and that other people have gone through what I'm going through now.
I miss him so much and the next month and a half will be extremely tough without him. I'm going to try my best to not get too sad and I'm trying to look forward to when he comes to see me on my birthday
4 people like this
10 responses
@deazil (4723)
• United States
15 Nov 12
It's tough to be away from the one you love. If you feel like crying, go ahead. It's good therapy. As long as you don't cry all day long! Another thing you can do that will help, if you have the time. Walking, running or jogging. These are all good ways to get rid of stress. And you'll feel good. You also might fall asleep faster at night, thus lessening the amount of time I think you must lay there thinking sad and lonely thoughts. Do you know anyone else in your situation? Someone in your town that you could become friends with? I've heard of service men's wives/girlfriends getting together for mutual support and friendship. Keep yourself busy and 6 months will be up before you know it. And you know you can always come to mylot for fun, friendship understanding and sympathy. And we know you're not whining or complaining.
You just miss him. Plan for the day he comes home and you're together again. I bet you've already done that!
Whenever your birthday is I hope it's a happy one. And remember - absence makes the heart grow fonder.
You just miss him. Plan for the day he comes home and you're together again. I bet you've already done that! Whenever your birthday is I hope it's a happy one. And remember - absence makes the heart grow fonder.@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
15 Nov 12
Lol no, I don't cry all day long. For the most part I'm fine, but about once a week or so everything just gets to me and I cry for a little before I feel better.
I actually have a really good friend who has a fiance in the army so whenever we're sad we always talk to each other and we get together every once in a while and I feel better for a little bit.
Whenever I start getting sad or lonely I do come on myLot and post about when I miss him. I try not to do it to often because I don't want to annoy everyone here lol! But even when I'm not sad myLot is a good place to come and it keeps me busy for a little while.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
16 Nov 12
Thank you :) For the most part I do keep things in control...at least as best as I can. We talk and skype just about everyday, I have my good friend, I have mylot to come to, and I also go to school and have a job. Keeping my mind busy helps. Even when it seems like there's nothing to do I'll find something for myself by either coming to mylot or watching tv shows on the computer.
I think I'm going to look more into that movie you mentioned. I really enjoy shows and movies that have some sort military aspect. I typically watch newer stuff, but that's because it's all I've known. If that movie isn't too sad, I might give it a try :) I would like to watch Army Wives but I don't think that it would be too good for me to see something like that because it would hit really close to home.
@deazil (4723)
• United States
16 Nov 12
You have to let it out once in a while. It sounds to me like you have everything under control.
Yeah, mylot is good for a lot of people for a lot of stuff. I'm glad you have a friend that you can relate to. I'm sure you're a comfort to each other. That's important. I saw a good movie once about a group of military wives who rented a house together. It was a serio-comic kind of movie. Mostly serious. I wish I could remember the name of it. But I think it may have been an old movie - pre 1950 - because that's mostly what I watch. I like the really old stuff. Partly because I'm really old stuff.
So you may not be interested in it anyway. Although military wives/girlfriends have gone through some of the same things be it 1940 or 2012. Love is love and sad is sad no matter what era it takes place in. Thanks for commenting and keep your chin up. :-)
Yeah, mylot is good for a lot of people for a lot of stuff. I'm glad you have a friend that you can relate to. I'm sure you're a comfort to each other. That's important. I saw a good movie once about a group of military wives who rented a house together. It was a serio-comic kind of movie. Mostly serious. I wish I could remember the name of it. But I think it may have been an old movie - pre 1950 - because that's mostly what I watch. I like the really old stuff. Partly because I'm really old stuff. So you may not be interested in it anyway. Although military wives/girlfriends have gone through some of the same things be it 1940 or 2012. Love is love and sad is sad no matter what era it takes place in. Thanks for commenting and keep your chin up. :-)
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
13 Nov 12
Just be glad you talk all the time. My brothers girlfriend is in another country for the mexican navy... they are lucky to be able to speak every 15 days to each other. You are lucky.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
13 Nov 12
Yes, I'm really glad I get to talk to him every day. That's what keeps me from going insane. I always feel so much better whenever we get to talk.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
14 Nov 12
Just think of it this way, you can with your boyfriend here but he does not have a job or he stay in Korea for the meantime to work and hopefully save up for your marriage in the future. We don't want people to be away from us, that I understand. But if it is the best, then we should be happy with that. Don't go crying every time. It's a good thing there is the internet that you can rely on when you want to talk to him or see him, even if it only via Skype. Just imagine how hard it was for people back then with their long distance relationship. They write letters that often take weeks before it reaches their loved ones. Cheer up!
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
14 Nov 12
He's in the u.s. army and he got sent to Korea for a year. It's already been a month since he left and I won't get to see him again for another 6 months until he comes back to visit. He's my best friend and I miss him a lot. For the most part I handle things pretty well but every once in a while the sadness builds up and I just can't help but cry.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
14 Nov 12
I am sorry. I am sure it has to be really hard for you to be so far away... Your very strong to be able to handle it as well as you do!
My husband worked out of town for over 2 years at one point and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through with him. Being homeless with him was NOTHING compared to that. At least when we were homeless we were together!
My husband is about to go out of town again for work and I have to be strong for our children which is REALLY tough for me. =( I know he has to go because we really need the money now but it is really hard.
I hope you can be with the one you love soon hun! 
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
14 Nov 12
It really is hard to be without them sometimes. And I understand what you mean when you say being homeless with him was easier than having him work away. I would be the same way because I'd rather be with him and struggle than have him be away, even though I know that it's what is best for us.
If you keep yourself busy while he's away the time will go by a lot faster. Don't think of how he's not there. Just do things to keep yourself busy and even watch tv shows or movies to pass the time. He'll be back before you know it :)
I keep telling myself that too about my boyfriend. I have 6 more months to go before I can see him again.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
13 Nov 12
I'm glad you get to Skype with him CourtKnee. I know it is hard, and I'm sure there are people here who can share their experiences with you. My SIL's sister's husband is a Lt. Colonel (not sure if I spelled that right). His tours of duty were Iraq and Afghanistan. He got sick a lot from the food. He felt they were trying to poison him sometimes. He had to live and mingle with the afghanis. His daughter was born and he could only see pictures for so long. His first daughter was also born without him. It was hard.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
13 Nov 12
Wow, whenever I hear of people who have to do tours in Iraq and Afghanistan I feel lucky that right now my boyfriend is relatively safe in Korea. I definitely appreciate the fact that I don't constantly have to worry about his safety like the other families do who have family in Afghanistan. I'm also glad that we're still young and we don't yet have a family. It would be a lot harder if we were married or had kids.
Talking to him definitely helps me a lot. Hearing his voice or getting to skype with him makes my day a whole lot better and I don't worry about anything while I talk to him. But then there are times when I just can't help but let the sad thoughts creep in and take over. The thoughts of sadness are always there, but I usually have to work hard to keep them back. Sometimes if I'm tired I let my guard down just a little and the thoughts come flooding through.
@farisyaemylia (12)
• United States
14 Nov 12
Hey there!
I am also having this LDR (long distance relationship).
I'm at New York to further my studies and he is in Malaysia.
The distance is indeed thousands miles away.
Sometimes, It touched me when I saw sweet couples in front of me. I wished he could be near me now.
I have to wait another 2 years in order to see him at Malaysia. I wished time could fly fast.
Be strong dear :)
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
15 Nov 12
Our situations are very similar :) I see couples together all the time and it always makes me miss him even more and wish he was with me so I could just hold his hand.
He's in Korea for one year while I'm in Florida but he'll be in the army for another 3 years. I wish all the time that time would fly by so the 3 years would just pass already.
You stay strong too :)
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
14 Nov 12
Oh, instead of being sad, just try to excite yourself. Just think of your birthday. Prepare for it. Make it very special for both of you. Just think that days are going by so fast and after a few days, he'll be back soon. Be stronger. You have to deal with your situation. You should do your best to get rid of your sadness. Don't let your emotions control you. Men sometimes like tough women. You should show him that you're tough.That you can bear all trials that will come in your way.Hope you'll feel better.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
13 Nov 12
Thank you. I usually do pretty well but every once in a while all the sadness sort of builds up and I end up just having to let the tears out. School will keep me busy for the next month and after that I can really focus on working and saving up my money.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
14 Nov 12
Missing is normal in a relationship. In all kinds of relationships. So try to divert your attention to something, a hobby perhaps so you won't be thinking of him at all times. YOu wouldn't know before you knew it he is just there beside you. Happy birthday, i am sure he is very eager to see you too but he has to work. and you must understand him.
@SuperShames (780)
• India
14 Nov 12
Hi courtknee.
Well your situation so much resembles mine. Even I am having a long distance relationship with my partner. Though we live in the same country but because we both are studying it has been very difficult for both of us to meet. And it has been eight months now. She always says to me about how much she misses me and how she wants to get together with me. Even I feel bad that I am not able to get a time out from my studies to actually go and meet her in person. But I am lucky that she has been very supportive. And I hope that in future, all this pain that we are going through will pay off and will only end in increasing our love and respect for each other. I hope you get to meet your brother very soon. Anyways have a nice day and be strong... That is what I always say to my girlfriend..
-SuperShames-
