i apologized in behalf of my husband

@SIMPLYD (73008)
Philippines
November 21, 2012 10:58pm CST
Last night, while husband was assisting the nurse who was were trying to put a new catheter to my bedridden father-in-law, which proved to be defective, my mother –in-law had a heated argument with my husband with regards to exchanging the defective one into a new one, using the receipt. However, my husband said he didn’t ask a receipt and would instead buy a new one using his own money. They had a heated argument and to my dismay, husband raised his voice to his mother. I can understand that he is so tired from whole day work and now he is being reprimanded for having not asked for the receipt. But, in my opinion, he shouldn’t have shouted to his mother and had a shouting match with her, no matter what. Before going to sleep, I talked with my husband about him and asked him that he does not have to have a shouting match with his mother. He reasoned out that he got pissed off for her being so nagging. The next day I apologized to my mother-in-law in behalf of my husband because I know my husband wouldn’t. She understands my husband’s quick to anger attitude, but she was disappointed that he shouted at her. However, as a mother she can only take him as he is.
4 people like this
10 responses
@jaiho2009 (39084)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
So sad, and I know how it hurts. I am having a problem with my second son's behavior, but later I get use to it and ignoring him is the best way. But of course, it's really hurtful to hear that a son shout back to his mom...:xx
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Yes, it is so hurtful for a mother to be shouted back by her child. No matter how hurtful would what a mother says to her child, we can answer back, but not by raising our voice. That's why i have to apologize in behalf of my husband, because my husband never apologizes verbally. His apology is by means of some kind works he does for them, like buying the pandesal very early in the morning.
@jaiho2009 (39084)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
That's exactly what my son also did after we argue. He will do the cooking or clean the surroundings - and other homeworks..but never say sorry duh!
• Indonesia
22 Nov 12
thats the greet son, he say sorry by doing homework, he is very sweet.. i never see that a boy do some homework for his mom..
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
22 Nov 12
hi SimplyD mothers are that way. They dont expect much and take their children as they are. Though it was a bit uncalled for, and your hubby should not have got excited, but then, situations are different at different times and as he revealed, he was upset already. But then, he should feel that it is his dad, mom's hubby and she is just being caring for her hubby, just as he would be caring for you... He should have rendered his apology the next morning to pacify things and undo the hurt caused to his mom and you, and let go off the ego for once. good now that the matter is over. hope the health of your father in law improves soon. happy thanksgiving
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I know my husband very much sids, so much so , that i know he regretted having done that. In fact, he denied that he shouted, when her mother accosted her. And my husband never apologizes in words, but in actions. The next day very early he went out to buy the breads for breakfast. He also washed the dishes after we finished breakfast. It's his way of showing remorse for what he has done. Nevertheless, i still apologized to his mother in his behalf. Though, he doesn't know about it, which i know he would not agree that i should do. So much ego tripping of my husband.
• Indonesia
22 Nov 12
but, you said that my husband never apologizes in words, but in action. The gentlemans always doing something whenever they want something
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
It's hard for my husband to say the words of apology. Thus, he compensates by his action.
@jeztrose (1406)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
There are instances in life that sometimes we can't control our feelings and can make something that is not really good.I also did such things to my mother but just when i realized that i was wrong, i don't just really apologize at all,i just try to make up by being sweet with her and from that she directly forgets about it.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Well, my husband doesn't apologize at all when he does something wrong. He makes up for it by doing tasks at home. Thus, the next day, he woke up early and bought pandesal and wash the dishes afterwards.
@jeztrose (1406)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Though he does not apologize vocally but the way he simply do those things is his way on making it up with her. :)
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Oh such event or situations do happen.. i have my own share of it. But probably due to stress they did not mean for that to happen but since that happened, i believe you did the right thing. I would also have did that too.. i would have apologized in behalf of my husband and talk to both sides.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Actually my husband has just arrived from work and is tired, while my mother-in-law is still brewing in anger towards the lazy caregiver. Thus, they clashed. I have to repair the damage done to both parties. I guess, that's what wives are for - arbiter.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Oh and i know how stressful it is for you too.. like you are caught in the middle of it and you know you must do something about it..
@squallming (1778)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
We are emotional beings. It is normal for us to have emotional change especially after a day of work or no so pleasant incident. I can understand why your husband would get into anger. He might have felt guilt and bad that he did not asked for the receipt and he expect his mother to understand that and not question or nag about it anymore. I think things would be fine after a few days.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
That's very true my friend. I know he felt a guilt of not having asked a receipt for the catheters, he could have really exchanged it for a new one without having to pay again. But the mother keeps telling him about it that he lost his cool. They are okay now. They know that it is bound to happen sometimes.
• United States
22 Nov 12
It's sad to hear something like that. While I commend you on your manners, your husband should be the one to apologize to his mother, regardless of the situation. Time and life is short, and the relationship between a mother and a son is precious. It's a catheter, it can be replaced. People can't.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
It's really sad that my husband wasn't able to contain his temper. He cannot contain his temper anymore because of the continuous insistence of my mother-in-law on her opinion. But they are okay now. They after all know that these things happens sometimes.
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
22 Nov 12
Sorry to hear that your husband shouted at his mother. Glad to hear though that you apologized to her on his behalf. That was really nice. When things like that are happening everyone is stressed out. I'm sure that your husband felt like his mother shouldn't have been arguing with him as well.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I know my husband doesn't want to do that. However, he lost control of his temper, because of the constant nagging of her mother that time. Sometimes, my mother-in-law can really be irritating, but we must be patient to her because she's after all aging already.
@mariaperalta (19097)
• Mexico
22 Nov 12
I hate to hear your problems there.. hope all is well now. take care there. Happy thanksgiving to you all.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Actually, after the shouting match , they cooled down after that. But of course the damage is done, i am sure my mother-in-law was hurt , so i have to apologized in my husband's behalf the next day. They were okay already .
• India
22 Nov 12
Sorry to hear this His mother knows him well, i am sure they will be okey soon, you did the right thing by begging apology on his behalf, difference in opinion do occur, please wait, every thing will be ok
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
Yes, that's true professor, his mother knows him too well, specially his temper. Even i, knows how to tame his temper. I joke about it, and he suddenly stops and laugh. Actually, after that they are okay again.
@yanzalong (5812)
• Indonesia
22 Nov 12
I wouldn't do such a thing to my mom. Thank God I never do. I am probably a type of a guy who can control anger. I have been over 10 years living with my wife. I hardly ever fly off the handle and get mad at her. You could give your husband some advice how his mother could have been hurt.
@SIMPLYD (73008)
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
You are a very good man, yan . Keep it up! Your parents must be so proud of you, my friend.