Mummy I am in Love

@sriroshan (2586)
India
November 30, 2012 11:07pm CST
Daughter who is studying in the college, one day when she return home went to her mother and told her that "Mummy I think I am in Love". Hearing this mother got shocked, but she remain cool. She does not reacted back as she knew her daughter is grown up and this common thing that happen in teenager. We all knew as child grows, specially girl, they more close to their mother and share most of the things that happen in their life. So naturally she share this also with her mother. Mother just say to her, this is not the right time first concentrate on your studies and there is ample time in your life to do all such things. What you feel, what mother had said to her daughter was the right thing? Please do share your views in this regards.
2 people like this
14 responses
@rog0322 (2834)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
1 Dec 12
Hi, We all have to face it sooner or later, the very things we did to our parents a while back. How did they react, I really don't know. I can't discuss such things with my mother. Of course, daughters are different. To gain the confidence of our children is a good thing. They shall not be led astray by ill-intentioned characters out for a good time. One sure way to juvenile delinquency is the lack of parental guidance when the parents themselves stop to nurture the growing child and delegate the task to institutions which can only teach to a certain degree.
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
That's the main reason we always say "Experience Count in this world". So keeping in mind what we have might done to our parent it makes us get alert when our children too try the same thing. Falling in love at young age may be common thing as we knew it may be mere attraction which in young mind get develop, but as a parent we have to be cautious so that things does not moves in wrong direction
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
1 Dec 12
Parents always worry. Whether their daughter met the right guy, or whether they just have a moment of fling with some random guy. So, their concern is legit. When you become a parent, you should know that feeling too. So, if you really in love with some guy, you have the right to share with your parents, and also show them you are responsible, Don't forget about your education too.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
Yes you are right parent always have the worry in their mind and specially of their growing up daughter because there are so many incidence do happen where young girls get or being get cheated and as such spoil their life also. So parent have to be keep watch on their activities and the best way is to be like friends with their children, It is parent duty to guide properly to their child rather then just shout on them for small small things.
@nani4ajay (108)
• India
1 Dec 12
Mother did right thing, if she refuses to agree to her daughter than that will cause a lot of loss to their relationship. I suggest every parent should accept their children's honesty. And guide them in a right way.
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
Yes you are correct , the right action and right decision have made her to keep her daughter cool and save their relationship too
@valerievy (162)
• Guam
1 Dec 12
I think she is right. The daughter is still young, and she should focus on her studies. But at the same time, if the daughter is able to maintain a good relationship with someone while she is also able to do well in her studies, then I am all for her. She is smart enough to make her own decisions, but she should still heed her mother's warning. I am speaking from personal experience that it is possible to maintain a good healthy relationship and be able to balance it with college studies.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
The coolness the mother has shown in this case one has to appreciate. If she had shouted back on her daughter then she knew her daughter would have taken some other step and may have done what she feel like. It their relationship and openness with each other that makes her daughter to share her feeling with her mummy.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
My parents were strict and although they never told me, I know that they will be against my relationship if I had one at such an early age. But I did have my first boyfriend in high school. I kept it from them. Only my friends knew it. I remember the first time I ever told her that I had a boyfriend was when I was 19 years. I wasn't really planning of telling it to her yet although he knows the guy coz he has been dropping me off from school and practically comes to the house everyday. My nanny (yes, at 19 I still had a nanny coz she has lived with my grandparentssince she was 9 years old) sort of having a hint that the guy was my boyfriend. Then I felt that she was getting stricter- way stricter than my mom. She would be banging doors and cabinets, would tap just everything just to make a loud sound to show that she is irritated whenever the guy is at our house. This really made me mad. I have confronted her several times and each time she would threatened me of leaving the house and would say so many harsh things. Fearing that my nanny would make up stories that would eventually get my relationship in hot water, I admitted to my mom that the guy was already my boyfriend. I was so ready to hear her shout at me, but all she said was it was okay for as long as we will help inspire each other in our studies. But once I fail in any of my subjects, then that would be the end of my relationship. That was 22 years ago. Now, that guy is my husband.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
4 Dec 12
Good love journey as such. Your school mate/class mate to boy friend and even after opposition now he is your Husband. Not your mother every mother in this world will never like that her daughter has fallen in love at young age when actually it was the time to play and study rather then to do such things. But after all it natural as the age grows both boy and girl start attracting each other. There is no harm in sharing your feeling with mother, specially girls, as many time it is helpful for you in returns
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Thanks, sriroshan! Actually, I thought that 19 years old was old enough for me to be in a relationship and thought that it was just the right time for me to have such relationship. I may have had some stumbles with the person I was with but I am glad that I still ended up with him.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
15 Dec 12
That's nice things happen with you and I like everything was fine at the end and you are really happy with him now.
@ungu89 (2001)
• Malaysia
1 Dec 12
i don't think i can share it with my mum. i don't know why, for me, if i just fall in love to someone and he is the right one i will tell. but, until today, i just fall in love but still he is not the right one. i don't know why, it just so hard for me to share with her
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
This shows you are still under process of choosing the right life partner. Try to be open with your mother and sure you will feel relaxed when you share some of the incidence in your life with her. Not only this even she may guide you on certain things which you may not be knowing how to deal with
@ungu89 (2001)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 12
i know, sometime the certain thing it better to share with my mum, maybe not all that i have share. its just when i try to talk about it, sometime my mum trying to run from it, look like she cannot accept that her daughter already old enough to find a life partner i think. i'm already 23. of course i think i already want to plan about my future.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
2 Dec 12
I too feel that you are at the right age to find your life partner. But do you know for every mother their child is always as young as she was when born. But surely your mum must be searching for the right person for you as your life partner.
22 Dec 12
Hi I have gone through your this discussion. I like it too much. I think that when a boy and girl come i teen age it is necessary for every mother to become friend of her daughter and every father to become friend of his son. Every girl and boy should share every thing including the relation with their friends, affairs etc with their mother and father respectively and parents should support their children in their love affair. In fact parents should allow a daughter to invite her love mate in house. Allow them to talk giving privacy. So that the boyfriend of girls will cross limits. Looking their affection, and attaining age of marriage and and financial stability parents of both boy & girl should permit them to get married, without barrier of cast, Gotra.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
22 Dec 12
Nice reply and I agree with what you have mentioned. To tell you I am having one daughter and one son. If you see both me and my daughter you are just like friends discussing and sharing what to do and what not to do in life. Same way seeing my daughter being friendly, my son who is younger goes and sit with his daddy and he asked many question to him which obviously he reply them. We both then share with each other what our children had asked or want's to know.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
It's a normal thing for teenagers- to fall in love. Being a parent- I am here to guide and understand my kids. My kids are young teens and one day soon they will fall in love and start a relationship. I won't be a hindrance to their feelings- but I will try my best to give them advise and be with them always.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
4 Dec 12
That's what I have said but it is parent duty to guide their kids as you have said for which I fully agree. But when mother is free like a friend to her daughter it becomes esy for her to handle her under such circumstances
• United States
2 Dec 12
I think the mother should have taken more time to speak to the daughter about her feelings. of course she would like her to finish her schooling. but,the child has feelings she needs to talk about. I would think the daughter should go to someone who will pay more attention to her.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
2 Dec 12
Such quality all mother should have in them and if it is not their then they must understand their daughter feeling and must be always at her help when she asked for the solution. Such thing is possible only when mother talks with her daughter from her daughter child wood and try to create the confidence in her.
@atv818 (1988)
• United Arab Emirates
2 Dec 12
Your story triggered an emotion within me. I have an almost 16 year old daughter and your discussion made me think what will I do if she approach me with the same confession. I think I will say that it is good to be in love but she should focus on finishing her college degree. Use the love that she feels as an inspiration to do good in school. Children will grow up and this is a fact that all mothers has to be prepared to face. I will give them the freedom and pray that they do the right thing even when I'm not there with them.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
2 Dec 12
My friend this not my story as such but this the true incidence happen in case of my friend. Best solution or the best way to handle such situation if arises is to remain cool, instead out getting hot on the daughter. Tell your daughter "My dear it is fine to be in Love and at this age every one do fall in love. Keep in mind there is certain time for important things to do in life that too at particular age. Concentrate first on your studies and surely you can continue your love relationship.
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
1 Dec 12
My young son was suppose to go to college when he also said: 'Mommy I am in love, and I want to marry this girl..." I was shocked but also remained calm; explaining in a gentle way that he was an adult, but needed some more growing-up to do. He would not listen and six months latter married the lovely girl. The marriage lasted two years... Being an adult, or older than 18yrs does not always mean that we 'know' all the answers. Many a time True Wisdom lack and then it is good to listen to older people...
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
That what as mother one has to play a major role with calmness and not getting hot on the child hearing such news. When with calmness you tackle the situation its always work fine. Good ways you have manage to tell your son and he too understand what exactly the life is for him since he is not grown up to do all such things
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
1 Dec 12
the girl is kinda young.. wish shed finish her studies first. I know here, many girls fall in love then quit school. ^ months later bf leaves and they have no school or bf.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
You are correct and many times they repent later for the mistake they have done for selecting the wrong person as life partner or when she is being cheated by that boy after enjoying everything with her.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
1 Dec 12
I can relate into that. When I was still a teenager I always shared who is my crush with my mom. I was very open with her in terms of heart talks. She also shared their moments with my father. My mother is always advising me to guard my heart and to know first the guy a lot before I'll accept his love. Be smart in choosing and let not love ruin my life.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
That's what many young girls do and they like to share with their mom, like you, what has happen. And while doing so automatically both come so close that they forget the relationship of mother and daughter and they start behaving like friends. Not only this I am sure as elderly person you must have got lots of guidelines from your mother.
@betty1989 (752)
• China
1 Dec 12
this situation is most college students in. at this age, girls easily have crush on guys. i am so glad that girl is brave enough to tell her mother that she in in love. I do not think what this mother tell is the right thing although what she did is for her daughter's good. in the college, students may have the ability to balance love and study. this time, mother should encourage to love and tell study is also very important.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
1 Dec 12
Yes this is very much correct, and child can tell everything openly to their mother only when mother is open to her. As mother ladies must take their girl in confidence and must tell her what is bad and what is good in their life, specially when they are growing up. In life other than everything like friends, lover etc. the more important is study and career. If you do the good career then everything you can do it later in life, as study have the limited time in our life and if it goes then it will be difficult to get it back.