when your friend doesn't seem to care anymore
@valorieesquilona (442)
Philippines
December 5, 2012 7:15pm CST
i have this guy friend and i've known him for 5 years now. i met him in college and we became so close to each other. we used to hangout a lot, sit on the grass while talking during vacant hours, watch soccer and volleyball games, eat street food and some other stuffs like that. i remember when we would talk about history, philosophy and nonsense things like "how does your mother brush her teeth?" or "why is that girl wear full makeup like that". he is so nice and intelligent and i treat him as my brother. but one day he acted so different and i felt he's avoiding me so i asked him why he was acting that way and he told me that i'm so insensitive because i didn't know that he's in love with me. i cannot lose him because i love him so much as a friend and he's so important to me, but now he decided to not talk to me anymore. it's so sad because i'm missing him so much.
13 responses
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
10 Dec 12
hmmm so the problem is he is avoiding you because he fell in love with you and she feels you are not sensitive to him. You miss him now? what if you are in love with him? you may not realize it
if you do not fall in love with him then try to explain to him that you consider him as a brother, he would probably understand why you can not be his girlfriend.
if you do not fall in love with him then try to explain to him that you consider him as a brother, he would probably understand why you can not be his girlfriend.
@rivakwa (56)
•
9 Dec 12
There are two possible reasons.First you did not tell,whether this guy express his love for you.If he had perhaps you refused and he is sulking.Secondly if he is acting that way,then he is not matured.In relationship or intimacy seeking there could be a No or Yes.If it is a No,heaven should not fall,you can remain good friends.It does not call for him not talking to you,that is childish.On your part if you feel any thing for him,go to him and tell him to make his intentions known to you.Where he refuses to see reason,you do not need to worry,you have just been rid of a baby and you should go on with your life.Relationship is not by force.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
It might be really hard on his part not being able to be accepted. I mean, he must have made efforts to show you that he has feelings for you, but since you just see him as a brother, you never realized that he sees you differently. He is hurt. And probably ashamed at the same time. Just allow some time for him to get over it. I am sure that in due time, you'd bring back your closeness again.
@mhaiXCs10s (619)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
He is inlove with you and that's the reason he is avoiding you. You only like him as a friend just as what I comprehend in your story and you are now missing him as a friend. Why don't you let it be for now? Sooner or later your friend will get over with you and he will be back as your friend. Let him mend his heart now. He is just being true to himself and I understand his decision to put distances with you. A friendship you are having is good and one day he will realize that...
@swetify620 (302)
• Australia
7 Dec 12
what a great story but i feel sorry,because he is not talking to you anymore,he tried to avoid you because he fall in love to you.maybe he think that you are right person to him because the way you used to be,hangout and ect..you two are good to each other,but you treat him as a close freind or a brother.maybe thats why he is avoiding you because he can't accept that only freind you treat him not bf.let Him go for a while,and let Him think whats the best.If he is a real freind of you He will come back as soon as possible.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
7 Dec 12
His feelings for you are different from your feelings for him. Men don't make friends with women very often. Women appreciate friendship and can consider a man to be a friend. But, that is not how men view it. You need to understand men better and to accept how men view a man/woman relationship. He is backing off because he doesn't want the relationship to stay at only a friendship relationship. He loves you too much for that. So, it is now either a love relationship or no relationship at all. He decided for himself and now, you have to make that decision. The choice is no longer a friendship relationship. So, your choice - either love him or miss him. A love relationship is when both people really care and are sensitive to each others feelings. Do you want that with this man?
@suzzy3 (8342)
•
6 Dec 12
Is there a chance you did not give him enough space.Maybe you should ring him up and talk to him.Explain how you feel and maybe just meet up once a week instead of all the time.My friend used to live on my doorstep and although I loved her she crowded me out so much.We managed to sort things out and now we meet once a week and really get on well.We look forward to seeing one another apart from our families it is really nice to have somone different to talk to.
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
That is quite sad.. it is hard to lose a friend like that, especially since you have known and liked him for years already. what do you feel about him? If you love him too, i guess it is good, but if you don't you should just tell it to him and save your friendship..
@hyden06 (87)
• Indonesia
6 Dec 12
In relationship was your build is very nice, but what your reason about why you can't take his love. If you can't take his love but you want still braid on friendship, this is will always be hurting for his heart, because, if the heart is hurt there is nothing the medicine. Will need much more time to be forget this experience.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
6 Dec 12
This story just breaks my heart. It is sad when friends come and go and most do. The friends we make in high school, go to college, write some and then eventually drift away. We meet new friends, make new memories, but then to we switch jobs, get laid off, and leave those friends behind. We move away and lose contact with people we felt fortunate to have in our lives at one time. I won't try to soften the blow with "everything happens for a reason" because sometimes that is just not what we want to hear. I wish I could offer you some advice, some sort of comfort or soothing words, but all I can say is "I am sorry your friend has behaved this way towards you and one day he will realize what a great friend you were."
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
This happened to me but just the other way around but he didn't left , he is always there for me , he is the one managing the friendship because i don't know how to control. He sets limits. He don't want to lose relationship either.
You don't worry he will be back if you are really meant for each other. call him or text him , he is just waiting.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
6 Dec 12
I have a guy bestfriend too but we didn't end up falling to each other, he actuallly married his crush in elementary and I found my own dream guy. People thought we were bf and gf because were always together, we even sleep together. He even call my mom his mom, just like plain brothers and sisters. Eventually we grow apart, he went to college, I went to work and have different friends but we still hang out sometimes.
For your friend, he could be your soon true love or he could be your bestfriend in life, time will tell. As of now, let yourselves realize where your relationship should go and respect each other's decision.
