My niece has a trauma. What to do?
December 13, 2012 6:03am CST
Hi there again. I have a 7 year old niece and I notice that she has a trauma. I remember her crying so loud before because she saw her mom and dad fighting intensely. There are times that I was at home but there are times that I wasn't. She cries everytime she sees a person talking with their loud voice or even just one person talking loudly over the phone. I would just like to ask if what shall we do remove this kind of fear in her? What kind of actions do we have to take to remove her trauma? Will she take this as she grows old? Thank you for the response in advance.
13 Dec 12
You need to be a mediator. If the parents continued to fight in front of their child, then it would create a big dilemma. We don't need to wait for other people concern to call for an assistance.
13 Dec 12
Firstly, loud voice or loud sounds is inevitable she must really outgrow that. However, you can not force her to not to feel that way. I have a few suggestions that you may want to dwell on. 1. Assure the child that fighting (since this may be the root of all fears) is normal if two people disagree in something. but it doesn't mean that the parents don't love her anymore. Assure her that there will be no more fighting. (and no more fighting really so she will build her trust and security again). 2. Always be with the child, she needs and longs for security. 3. Understand her feelings. 4. Bring her to the doctor, example ear doctor. She might have problem with her ears just to make sure. I have seen almost same case in one of the episodes of House M.D. (although this may be beyond the situation but just in case). A teenager was hearing things, in particular his younger brother who passed several years ago. They have used and thought of all the possibilities until they thought that the boy was having schizophrenia. to make the whole episode short. they found out that there was a bee stuck in the boy's ear. This was an episode and made up story,but who knows, there might be something wrong with the child's ear. She's 7 years old, she might have stuck something inside you just didn't know. better be sure. and lastly. just take it easy... always, talk to the child. always ask her how she feels at the moment. Talking may help her release all the stressed she felt and she witnessed. the best people who can do this are her parents. Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending. Virginia Satir http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/parents.html
14 Dec 12
it is the behavior of the parents that has to be changed and all will fall in place. once she lives in a peaceful environment she will be fine. She is too small for all this fights and violence around her. It starts from home and if the parents really want a good future for the child they should understand how to bring up a child first rather than just giving birth. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.