Home is not house

Thailand
January 3, 2013 6:46am CST
Have you heard the song composed by Burt Bacharach, The House is not a Home. It is a nice song, "And a house is not a home. When there's no one there to hold you tight, And no one there you can kiss good night." but of course if it is from Bacharach it must be a good old love song. One time I sang this song to one of "our free time day" at school. Well I am not shy to sing regardless of how i sound" Maybe I sang it so well, when one "naughty" student begun crying... at first just tears then as I continue singing, he started to cry and cry and cry. I was struck, I thought it was his "naughty" move, (he is a boy that can really make our hair turned gray, grrrrr!) but then I continued my singing because my other students were listening. He did not stop, until he really burst into tears. After I sang the song, I approached him, and gently touched his back. He looked at me still in tears. noooo he was not playing on me. he was not doing one of his pranks. he was really crying. I gave him my tissue box and he started composing himself again, then after that, he has been quiet for the entire "our day period"... what have i done, as i kept on looking at him from time to time to check what he was doing. Then the period was over, he returned my tissue box. (opsies this time he threw all the tissues he had used in the trash can), Apologized. Again I was struck by this act. and asked him. why was he crying. He told me that, his parents just separated and the children were divided. Older children goes with father, and younger with mother. He is staying with his mother, but their big house now so quiet no more fighting from other siblings, no jokes no running around the house. We understood finally his behavior it was from he witness at home, fighting parents and finally separation. that's why he was touched with the lines of the song. Whew... now we understood him, he still pranks but we are more accommodating and understanding with him. Happy New year everyone.... Let us make our house a home
1 person likes this
9 responses
@deazil (4556)
• United States
3 Jan 13
Mavic, that is a beautiful story. At first I thought of a joke to make about the boy crying and your singing, but now I don't want to joke. The beauty of the story almost made me cry, for the boy, how sad his life had become. You have put together a very good discussion and the topic is so relevant to everyone. Yes, every house should be a home. But many are not.
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Yes, miss Deazil, it was disturbing at first......thinking, that he was just mocking me, you know a naughty boy VS a naughty teacher. Hmmm... Home is hard to build now a days.
@deazil (4556)
• United States
3 Jan 13
Naughty teacher. Hard to build and if you get it built hard to keep.
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Ohhh yes, miss Deazil. But I am opti mistic of second chance.
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
3 Jan 13
Sad yet inspiring at the same time. As what I keep on saying, there's always reason behind someone's actions. I understand how that boy felt, I myself is lonely sometimes whenever I think of my family. Although I am very happy with my husband, it's just the feeling I got used to everytime I'm with my family. I hope this kid will somehow behave now that everyone knows what he's going through.
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Why do you all focused on the song and boy and not my voice? Don't you think that my voice was so moving too hahaha just joking... Joke the first two lines, because it is you Verna, I can joke that way... Peace and happy new year friend. Back to discussion: we'll based on your experience I am sure you are making your house now a real home... Sometimes experience is teaching us the hardway so that we will never forget what we lessons have we learned from it. What I heard was the boy is still the same, seeking so much attention but he often consult the guidance counselor now and some teachers give him the best understanding ever.
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Correction: Well, not we'll. Argh
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
4 Jan 13
I won't be surprised anymore about your voice to be too good since in the first place the boy cried, he would be laughing and won't feel the message of the song if you sound like a duck..just like me. Last sunday I was in a friend's house and singing, my husband was laughing so hard because I sound like a duck..
@Mintlin (326)
• China
4 Jan 13
happy new year Mavic! I agree Home is not house.As long as i stay with my love one,any place could be my home. But here in my country,home is defined as a house. young people they do not get married if they do not have a house.they think they will be happy and stable if they have their own house. So they borrow money from others just to buy a house. some of my friends ,they are nearly 35 yrs but no married just because they can not afford to buy a house (apartment).
• Thailand
4 Jan 13
Ohhhh....they. Have a point to think that owning a house is a basic foundation family.
• United States
4 Jan 13
That is just wonderful that he was able to share his pain with you. I am sure going to hope and pray they get over the pain and get back to being loving parents those kids need.
• Thailand
4 Jan 13
Yes sometimes, it is just like that, we touch people accidentally without intention.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
it must be very devastating for the poor child to witness the break up and the separation. his being naughty might be his only way to cope with that sad situation. i hope that everybody will not give him a bad time and help him out to cope.
• Thailand
4 Jan 13
Yes, we never knew...but the boy's heart is just like a dam, full of water and in one time, the barriers break... So he cant hold any,ore and give out what he was feeling that time
• United States
4 Jan 13
Yes, you are so very right a home is the people in the house. That is so sad I dont know why parents argue in front of their children. I understand ever relationship goes through things. My husband and I certainly at one time we were going to seperate but we worked things out and stayed together and very happy now this year in may will be 12 year. But even through that rough spot we never yelled or screamed or fought in front of our kids. Parents fighting and separations can have a very big impact on children no matter how young or old they are as a teacher I see and deal with the effects it has on children all the time. I hope that all parents will try to do better about not fighting in front of the kids and indeed making a house into a home families need to stick together through the good and bad.
• Thailand
4 Jan 13
That's. The bottom line no fighting and yelling and blaming in front of the children. I am glad you fought for the relationship ...see just a matter of understanding and patienc, things can still work out.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
3 Jan 13
great post, love his music. I once saw him at a las vegas casino.. loved it. Have a great day there. See you here soon.
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Glad you liked it.
@dodoazo (17833)
• Philippines
3 Jan 13
It was indeed a touchy song, especially its tune. I like that song too. It was popularized by Luther Vandross. The title of that song is "A House Is Not A Home."
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Hey Einstein yes, its melody, tune and lyrics really touch even hard hearts.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
3 Jan 13
It is a beautiful song but I don't feel like my little apartment is a home since I live alone and seldom get company. When one of my kids come over I try to make it feel like a home and hope it does to them. I put all kinds of 'homey' things around trying to make it feel like a home.
• Thailand
3 Jan 13
Yes, in deed... Even a small room can be a great home, depends on how welcoming the person living in there. I am sure Miss Ctryhnny, you have such a wonderful home, small and yet big in love and understanding specially for your kids, that's the reason why they keep on going to your small apartment, it has a big space for understanding and welcoming