Does it bother you if you classmates get married earlier than you ?

By Ami
@ami2007 (221)
China
January 5, 2013 5:49am CST
I'm a 23-year old, single, working female who is enjoying her time here on mylot. Then a text came in, announcing that a wedding of one of my classmates back in college is coming soon. My good mood for the evening wss ruined. I'm really bothered. Girls around me seem to be racing in a contest called "who get married first". The ones who made it seem to have crowns on her head. Those who haven't are supposed to be losers. I'm not picky. I stay single because I want to be with a guy I have feelings for ,not to make do with a person who is just ok. I'm sad because I haven't met the one . What about you? What do you think about this?
11 responses
• Philippines
5 Jan 13
I will not be bothered by someone who's getting married earlier than me. You are only 23 and that is too young. As for me, I would love to enjoy things first before facing the altar with someone. There are a lot of married people who wishes they hadn't married yet so don't fret. I actually should be the one who's bothered because my sister already got his first boyfriend and she's three years younger than me.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
5 Jan 13
Hey, you've got a point here. Perhaps some of the early-married do regret and long for single, fabulous life. Your response reminded me of Sx and the City. Nice TV drama.
• Philippines
5 Jan 13
Two Thumbs Up!!! My mother didn't want me watching it though. LOL. But yes... just keep facing forward. Not being married at the age of 23 doesn't mean your a loser. Just wait for the right man will come. Say, if you force yourself to get married today and then one day you meet this truly nice guy who makes your heart beat like crazy. Wouldn't you have any regrets?
1 person likes this
@yugocean (8839)
• India
5 Jan 13
You are in marriageable age and now you should also get married, but this should not be done under any competition like who get married first. You should look for your soulmate, he might be looking for you.
1 person likes this
@ami2007 (221)
• China
5 Jan 13
What I'm looking for is a soulmate. Your words are very comforting, and enlightening. Thank you!
• India
6 Jan 13
Hi friend, sad to hear about your stage, but bothering about our friends marriage is not a solution for this problem. As you mentioned you don't find the guy till today as well as not interested in having relationship without any feelings, so search for the guy and find out him. Don't get jealous on others, just wait for your perfect match. Wish you to get him soon.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
6 Jan 13
Thanks for sharing your idea. I feel under pressure, but not jealous. If my loved ones won't nagging me about it ,I will have no problem here. I'm happy about my present life. Just, it's like me and my peers are sitting for an exam. When the bell rings, we are supposed to turn in the papers. I'm focusing on my performance while some of us turn in the paper in advance. This makes me panic.
• China
6 Jan 13
As a boy I would like to say this will not bother me at all and actually more than half of my classmates had get married. And as for you,23 years old still very young,pls don't worry and take your time,your Mr right will come to you very soon.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
6 Jan 13
Thanks for your comforting.
6 Jan 13
not at all, as long as your enjoying your life. Do not get pressured by the others, you might find someone that is not for you and limit yourself to explore. He might be somewhere from your same interest or career ;)
@ami2007 (221)
• China
6 Jan 13
You certainly offered a cool, rational answer to my question~ Thanks!
• China
5 Jan 13
I do not care who gets married first.The only thing I care about is who is living the happiest live now.The one who is the first to get married may not the happiest.What if she just wants to win the crown?So do not mind,marries do not have to too worry.Just keep on looking for your Mr. right,good luck.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
6 Jan 13
hey, glad to meet someone from the same country! thanks for your advice~
@Archie0 (4669)
5 Jan 13
Yes i do feel a bit sad. Because now my classmates have been married since years and even have 2 kids each, their lives are happy. Many of them are settled outside my current company earning well leading a happy life. This though hurts everyday
@ami2007 (221)
• China
5 Jan 13
I assume you must have made achievements in other fields instead of being a devoted wife and mom. Finally, there are someone in the same shoe!
@pahak627 (4198)
• Philippines
5 Jan 13
That is a normal feeling for you to be bothered because you have a sort of a contest as to who will marry first. Normally, if there's no contest, there's nothing to be bothered about when a classmate marries.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
5 Jan 13
thanks for your response.
• Philippines
5 Jan 13
no i will never be bothered by things like that. and why should i be sad if i haven't met yet the one i love? why should i care if my classamtes get married ahead of me? and how can you say that those who haven't got married are "losers"?. i think you got the wrong idea here about marriage and that is what i am worried about.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
5 Jan 13
You might not be a girl. You probably have no idea how it is like to be asked "have you got a boyfriend? Why haven't you?" by dozens of people around you all the time.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
5 Jan 13
No, of course not. I just prayed that she will be happy with the life she has been chosen. We are in the same shoe. Actually , my best friend will be getting married in May and so I felt quite sad because her time with me and for our bonding will be lessen because she needs to focus on her family life already but I am happy with her because I know she is now ready and happy with her upcoming wedding. Just don't be worried that you are single. Right man will come at the right time and at the right moment of your life. You are still very young.
@ami2007 (221)
• China
5 Jan 13
well. Seeing people around you to get married one by one while You are still left isn's comfortable for me. I just don't get it. Why do so many people rush into marriage? If I don't follow the majority, I seem to be the weird one. Under a lot of pressure .
@noodleboy (222)
• China
8 May 13
It's very normal. I think somebody married earlier, somebody married later.