Are you a submissive or passive?

@Shavkat (66939)
Philippines
January 15, 2013 8:54pm CST
In a relationship, would you consider yourself submissive or passive? What are the differences? As far as I could fathom the idea, it is not the right thing to make a person to be such. It shows like the person is a push-button person. The greatness of that person is violated when they are in a relationship like this.
5 people like this
21 responses
@julyteen (13259)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Jan 13
In a relationship their ideas or words won't work at all. To be more successful both would apply the "give and take" attitude. One thing I am sure, wife should submit herself to his husband. She should not dominate at home. She is a symbol of light not the foundation of the family. Both should considerate to each feelings
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
For a relationship to work out, as you've said the give and take principle is ideal for the couple.
@julyteen (13259)
• Davao, Philippines
18 Jan 13
It's really a vital to every relationship Those who are selfish by themselves, relationship won't last long
@Mavic123456 (16290)
• Thailand
16 Jan 13
hehehe I am neither both.. are they the same? should it be submissive and dominating? Passive and active?
@Mavic123456 (16290)
• Thailand
16 Jan 13
either way, it is what love can do to person. A dominating at work could be a submissive when it comes to love. A passive person can be active in love. Love is mysterious and it can do a lot of things to a person. It can open hidden personality that even the person doesn't know he/she possesses. Unraveling one philosophy and beliefs to another one's.. Yes that's the power of love. hmmmmm...
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I can sense love in the air of that epistle of yours my friend. Thanks for sharing
@Mavic123456 (16290)
• Thailand
16 Jan 13
how I wish... but no love in the air until now.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I thought they were basically the same thing? I guess the submissive is even more likely to be extra passive? I'm neither and don't care to be one or the other, just about right in the middle.
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I do agree, we need to balance things.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
17 Jan 13
There was this TV personality on a talk show who today just admitted she likes when her husband is in 'charge' as it makes her feel safe. I don't get that. Why would someone who might kind of boss you around (or make all the decisions, etc. make you feel safe? I want a relationship to be 50/50. I don't care how handsome her man is. It could lead to abuse some day, if it gets taken into a more extreme manner.
• Liechtenstein
18 Jan 13
I don't get that either. It's not like her husband can accompany her 24 hours right? When her husband is not around and she needs to do something immediately does she need her husband permission as well? Or what if she knows better than her husband? Come on, her husband is not her daddy or her grandpa. She should know that she herself is not a fragile brainless little girl (even some little girls are smarter than the adults) that needs "protection" from the cruel godforsaken world.
• India
16 Jan 13
Hi shavkat. Well I am neither of them ... However, my girlfriend does sometime gets a little submissive. Even I don't like it when she does that. But that is how she is. In fact I like it sometime when she stands up to me. So, sometimes I even encourage her to be a little aggressive when I do something wrong and tell me that I was wrong. Have a nice day!! SuperShames
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Good, so your an artist by nature who can react an participate on any instance in front of you. keep it up encourage more people just what your doing now to your girlfriend.
1 person likes this
• India
18 Jan 13
Hi teotimoponcerosacena First of all I just want to know what does that very long username of yours mean? And yes, I already do that. I just gave the example of my girlfriend as an example. I also help my friends and closed ones too.. Have a nice day !!
• United States
17 Jan 13
I enjoy playing the role of the submissive, but my partner knows that this is not me 100% of the time. We play out the dominant/submissive roles but we know that in reality we each have to have our say and control over our lives. I enjoy doing things for him and he enjoys doing things for me. We like to make each other happy.
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Wow, the most important is your in control and is happy of what you are doing.
@pahak627 (4246)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I want to participate in this discussion but honestly, I don't understand submissive or passive much. As far as I can understand, passive is that one has no choice but to accept whatever given to her and submissive is to submit everything to whoever. I guess, there are times that one can partly become submissive or passive not by choice but because there's really nothing to be done except to become submissive or passive. Now it becomes more complicated.
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Your on it actually it was well explained by you. Now to be or not to be is in your hand whatever you think is best for you then practice it or if not trained yourself to be both and learn to play on any occasion that may come.
@spicymary (558)
• Romania
16 Jan 13
I try to negotiate all the decisions. I wouldn't like to impose my ideas and also not to just accept his. We just discuss the things until somebody gives up or we find a middle solution (even if it's not such a great idea, neither of the two will be actually happy; i think it's better to take turns on decisions). Anyway... I think this attitude can vary depending on who loves the most. Usually it's not an inner characteric of somebody, to be submissive or passive. There were periods in my relationship when I felt I love him more than he does, and than I accepted more of his wishes. And there were also opposite periods, and I, without necesarry wanting, pushed more for what I wanted.
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I am into this kind of personality. There will always a disagreement between a couple, but the word compromise should always be in the middle of the relationship.
@sanjay91422 (2728)
• India
16 Jan 13
I think submissive is the one who take the others approach in everything and do not fight for even the right points. He will submit himself to what ever the other is saying. Passive is also somewhat similar, but it is a little good than the submissive. Passive means the person who do not act upon something. Passive behavior may also come from the submissive attitude. Not acting upon something do not means that you support the other but you are not actively protesting it. If you get it, please share your views too.
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
The worth of being human, we can be submissive and it jives to passive act. It could work in unison while interacting with the people attached to us.
@joliefille (3696)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I think it depends on the situation or the relationship type. With my introvert personality I am generally the passive type. I let others do the execution while I prefer to come up with the ideas.
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
It would be nice to be passive, but we have still the choice to refuse if it is not right.
@r0ck_r0ck (1953)
• India
16 Jan 13
Well im very submissive be it in a relationship or anywhere else. As my friends would say being submissive like me is not really a good thing.
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
For some instances, it is not good thing to be submissive. Though it is a sign of having utmost respect to your partner.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
A wife is expected to be submissive to his husband, as stated by the priest during their wedding. But being as such has its limitations. And what are these? When the things that are asked from you is no longer in sync with what is rightful to do.
@Shavkat (66939)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
It needs to give something to be left in oneself.
• Liechtenstein
18 Jan 13
Maybe I'm neither because I get irritated easily when being ask to do stuff when I'm in the middle of something. Also I tend not to listen. I'm not a very good listener if people want to talk to me about their problems that I'm simply not interested I don't last long. My mind will immediately fly to lala land. (Luckily not many people want to talk to me about their problems because I tend to answer in a flippant way as well but I do answer seriously sometimes) But I'm never been in a relationship because I'm simply not interested and I don't have time for that. If I am in a relationship or if I had a husband, he should expect not to be treated seriously all the time because I'm quite a teased.
@babyeve (1051)
• Seychelles
18 Jan 13
I find myself not passive nor submissive when it comes to relationship. I believe that in a relationship that both person should not be passive nor submissive as it will damage the relationship in due time. Being a push-button is dangerous thing and can cause great anger in silence and may be fatal if you cannot deal with the consequences after a while. We must be both open-minded and should always try to compromise with each other no matter what our differences may be.
• Mexico
17 Jan 13
Hi Shavkat: I can't say that I have just one of these roles. I try not to discuss so this could make me a submissive person. However, I know I have a limit and when someone surpass it I could get really angry. I try to have a peaceful life and not to discuss with people but these two parts of myself are present. ALVARO
• United States
17 Jan 13
I have a great relasionship, with my husband, we are twin souls. Many times both apply to ur relasionship, it depends on what is going on.
• United States
17 Jan 13
I'm not submissive, and passive just means that you don't want to deal with the real issue(s). Relationships are all different, work relationships, physical relationships, friendships, they all require give and take. You have to be willing to give more than you take or the other person will not feel valued if you don't. Submissive means that you will do anything you are told, passive means you don't do anything.
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
I think, I am both it depends on any occasions I am facing. I don't think so something is violated in a relation like that for it always depend on who is listening, reading and or doing the actions in other hand it depends also on the person, subject of violation for everything will just be hearsay if no one will pay attention to whatever is the topic.
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
17 Jan 13
not sure those would work for me... Have a great day here.....
@mikyung (2234)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I think, I have both traits. Because there are times when I need to answer back and stand on what i believe that is true and just. I remain calm and speechless when I need to, just to avoid heated arguements that could lead to something that is not supposed to be. But, sometimes, I overdo that, they say that anything in excess or lacking is bad. That's why, I clarify, if something is blurry. Thanks.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I have never really thought of myself as a weak and submissive person. There are times I have been paaive only if it made the situation more comfortable and brought less tension all around. I am a very opinionated person. Sometines I wish that I was not but then I would not be the person tht I am today.