Just a mom...

United States
January 16, 2013 4:19pm CST
I remember my glory days when I was energetic and free. When I felt beautiful and fun. But now that im married with kids I feel like all I am is a mom. a boring, so-so short order cook, maid, and nothing else. I miss my hobbies and fun. Dont get me wrong I love my kids with all my heart but I also miss myself too. Sometimes I just feel so worthless and expendable. Im always trying so hard to be the perfect mom and wife but I never really think about what would make me happy. Right now, a bubble bath would be awesome...but theres just not the same motivation too do something for myself like there is too please someone else. Im a classic "people pleaser" and I hate it. I wish I could be like, "oh well, Im important too!" but thats never going too happen. Anyone else feel like this sometimes?
1 person likes this
8 responses
Jenny1015
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
All my life, i have just this person who is fine being at home all day. So being at home with kids was just like being with my old life. But I would also sometimes think of wanting to go out and be free to go to wherever I want to go and be with my friends. But then, reality hits me and tells me that being a mother takes a lot of sacrifices. But maybe if we ask our husband to let us enjoy to be with friends sometimes, that would give color to our lives.
Jenny1015
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
Oh! I can just see how really unhappy you are sometimes....so, maybe you could ask hubby to come over your friends' house once in a while....I would also feel like going crazy if i just stay home for a long time. The good thing is, there are two malls who just happen to be a stone's throw away. So , I ask my sister in law to come with me and do some window shopping or just have coffee at any cafe. Well, I can go out if I am ALWAYS with my SIL, no questions ask. But if it were my friends that I am going with, well, that's a different story.
clv1984
@clv1984 (59)
• United States
17 Jan 13
It does get lonly sometimes, All my friends live in the town I moved away from, my family too. I think thats what makes it even harder. I dont mind staying at home, but I do miss doing things other then changing diapers and cleaning.
Aminul Islam
@aminul842700 (861)
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
18 Jan 13
This is our life cycle. In this way, we are coming, growing, educating, working and getting old and once we depart from this world. This is reality. Thanks for sharing such a nice post.
clv1984
@clv1984 (59)
• United States
18 Jan 13
looking forward too depart with this world then
jalucia
@jalucia (1431)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Yeah. I totally get you. I think your feelings are normal. What also bothers me is that my life is devote to being a mom, but I'm not perfect at it. I don't know how good I am at it. I am mom 24/7 but it saddens me that I can't be superwoman... or supermom.
clv1984
@clv1984 (59)
• United States
17 Jan 13
yeah same here, I see all these other moms and wish I could be as good as they are.
lelin1123
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
16 Jan 13
I raised two daughters and did everything for them plus held down a full time job. However, I did find time for myself whether it was just a manicure and pedicure, or just watching my favorites TV shows at the time. I would plan different vacations where one is with the kids and then one without,or just a weekend away. You need to find the things you love to do, whatever your hobbies and take the time to enjoy them again. You are not fulfilling your happiness for yourself. You are doing for everyone making them happy but you also need to do things for yourself to be happy and fulfilled. If you don't you will regret it later in life.
clv1984
@clv1984 (59)
• United States
17 Jan 13
Im just afraid people will think Im being selfish and a bad mom. It also doesnt help that my inlaws tell me, "we never went anywhere without the kids, if the kids couldnt go, we didnt go, thats what parenting is."
jagjit273
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
19 Jan 13
Well every role in life has its importance and one should enjoy it. You should also enjoy this one with your kids as they teach us many things. Don't get yourself bored. Just enjoy their company.
yolanda2012
@yolanda2012 (6)
• China
17 Jan 13
I'm married and I have a family.Although I'm not mom,I feel like this sometimes.My husband's mom hastened that we have a child ,so we live with a lot of pressure.Even we often quarrel.Now I desire for a quiet life very much.I love my husband with my heart,and I hope he love me too! I believe that all will be better! Fighting!
Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
16 Jan 13
I think all of us mothers feel this way at times. It is completely normal. You saying this here sounds just the way I think sometimes. Lol. And I will tell you something that I have learned after 7 years of being a mom, I do count and you do too! If we are not happy, no one's going to be truly happy in the house. There is nothing wrong with finding some ME time now and then... You work hard, all mothers do so why shouldn't we make us happy too?
mariaperalta
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
16 Jan 13
I get the same way sometimes as well. I guess all us moms are alike...