TO ENTERTAIN or NOT TO ENTERTAIN???

Philippines
February 17, 2013 7:35pm CST
I have this old friend and I've known since college days. We were classmates since 2nd year until we graduated. He said that he likes me even before he knew me. He confessed that even we were in 1st year he took stolen shoots of me from afar and he wants to know my whereabouts. He courted me when we became classmates and we became good friends actually. He is one of the very few person that I share a lot with. He knowa most of my secrets. But then we didn't end up as COUPLES. He was courting me but then I said YES to another person. I like him but I can't see myself being with him. I feel very awkward. But, yeah we remain friends but not as close as before because my boyfriends gets jelous of him. After graduation, we seldom talk and there's a time that we don't communicate at all. Just last week when we accidentally bump into each other because my friend's boyfriend was his friend. So now, he told me that the feeling is still the same as before and he knows that I am in a relationship now. Is this friendship worth keeping??? What should I do????
8 responses
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Hi there dianon! =) i think it is okay just staying friends with him.. you know he has feelings for you, that is given and now that you have been in contact with him and still is committed to someone else you should just put a barrier between the two of you so he would not think that you are giving him wrong signals about the friendship you can offer him. Just be clear and just make sure that he will not have an idea that you are entertaining him. For me, it is just not worth losing a good friend who did nothing to hurt you, he was just attracted to you, but if he knows there is no chance for the both of you, then it should be okay, right?
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
YEAH, in fairness with him.... He has no plan on ruining what relationship I have right. He just always say that he likes me, or he wants me to be his girl, or my bf is lucky to have me,... etc... but he is not making foul moves, but sometimes it's just feel awkward knowing that your close friend is attracted to you.
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
hi dianon, I think you do know him, you are friends and you love your boyfriend. maybe since you both are friends, you can always tell him to just not tell you about his feelings especially that it is making you feel uncomfortable at times. i am sure he understands you and will respect your decisions on this. =) I know someone who has this same happening to him and they remained friends and are really completely platonic, their partners have not thought any malice about this. and both of them completely moved past this as well. =)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Not a problem with Dianon but the problem is the guy will continuously get hurt whereas when Dianon puts an end to his madnes and tell him they couldn't be friends maybe just maybe sometime later on he may gradually accept it and eventually find his way forward and forget his feelings with dianon and move on to someone he's meant to be with in the first place,,..
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
He knows that you are already committed. And if he wants you ti remain as his friend, he should respect your relationship to your boyfriend. No use in letting you know over and over again about his feelings. What does he want you to do if he still has feelings for you? Break up with your boyfriend? You still have a boyfriend, right?
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
YES I do and I don't have any plans to ruin what I have just for him.. but I want him as a friend,,, CONFUSING
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Nothing wrong in being with friends. Just lay out all your cards and emphasize that you just see him as a friend and nothing more than that. If he still insists in saying that he still likes you despite what you have told him, then I suggest that you just stay away from him to save your relationship with your boyfriend.
• China
18 Feb 13
If that guy really love you and know that you already have a boyfriend,then I think he have two choice,one is continue to chase you till you get marry,another is live far away from you and get over you so that can move on. I do not think that there is a pure friendship between boys and girls.
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
You think sooo... Can I object with that?? For me it is really possible.. But there are some instances that sometimes a guy or a woman can be confused with their feelings to their buddies if it's a platonic or a love that is enough for a relationship. It's NORMAL,,,, things happen that we are so vulnerable and the only person being there is your friend... BUT in case if BESTFRIENDS fell inlove with each other.. for me it's perfect because in time LOVE will fade and what will keep you together is the FRIENDSHIP that started all. =)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
DONT ENTERTAIN! you have a boyfriend. if you love him deeply then ignore your friend. still keep the friendship but you have to lay out to him the boundaries of acting like a friend.
@rhodzptc (1319)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
The friendship is worth keeping, but there must be a limitations for you because you may never know that one day you might fall for him too which may result to a much more complicated relationship between you, your boyfriend and your friend. We all both know and it would be possible for you to fall for him.
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
You know your limitations. If your feelings for him is just for a friend then continue being friends with him. Do not also give him false hopes. Tell him that there is no way for the both of you to become more than friends.
@Raine38 (9196)
• United States
18 Feb 13
In respecting my boyfriend's feelings, I will not encourage the friendship knowing that his feelings are still the same. Put yourself in the shoes of your boyfriend. How would you feel if he agrees to remain friends with a girl who confessed to him that she is in love with him and would want to remain friends with him despite the fact that he's in a relationship with you? I know that if it were e I will not like that. So it you think that if the situation is reversed and you will feel bad about it, chances are your boyfriend might feel the same.
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Hi there dianon! =) i think it is okay just staying friends with him.. you know he has feelings for you, that is given and now that you have been in contact with him and still is committed to someone else you should just put a barrier between the two of you so he would not think that you are giving him wrong signals about the friendship you can offer him. Just be clear and just make sure that he will not have an idea that you are entertaining him. For me, it is just not worth losing a good friend who did nothing to hurt you, he was just attracted to you, but if he knows there is no chance for the both of you, then it should be okay, right?