how do you get people to like you?

Philippines
February 25, 2013 8:23pm CST
hi mylotters, i just want to ask if what do you do to get people to like you? i am a silent type of person and sometimes i boost all of my time online rather than sharing stories with my officemates. i am 3 months in my work now and still have no friend to call here. i dont know why. share your experience to have ideas. thank you!!
1 person likes this
13 responses
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
26 Feb 13
Just be yourself. Observe your colleagues and the things that they like and dislike. So, when you are with them just listen and understand them better. Don't do the things that they don't like. Be a good listener and if you have something good to say, you may share once in awhile. I believe as time passed they will noticed that you are a nice colleague to have with them. Let things come naturally . All the best!
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thank you iriene88! hoping for positive outcome...
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
26 Feb 13
wow! takes so much work to get people to like you. is it worth it. not to say i want people not to like me, on the other hand.
@kourdapya (926)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
That's a tough question, because like you, I'm a silent type, shy and introvert too. I have very few friends and I'm socially awkward. I guess the trick is be yourself. People don't want to be with pretenders. You have to be the real you. Just be kind and respect people always, and I'm sure they'll be kind to you and respect you as well. We can't please everyone but at least we showed them respect.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
we almost same attitude, im afraid also of what will be their response if i get along to them i feel that im always out on their place everytime i tried to get along with them and ended up being alone.
@savire (204)
• Indonesia
26 Feb 13
I'm an Introvert type but I could make some friends offline. The key is not to be picky and starts with originally you. Do not try to please them to gain their attention because that's just rude for some peoples. The basic is acknowledging that you are a shy type of person. After that you can start by sharing what you do best. Start with your hobby and looks if any of them share the same interest as you are. Invites them to movies or doing a karaoke session would be good. While I was working on a company before my top level manager always had a recreational hour and he invites the whole team members to a karaoke or simply to a restaurant to have dinner together. We can chat with others there. So I think there's no use of trying to please other, just be your self and show that you had any value they can appreciates.
@cmania (207)
• Portugal
27 Feb 13
I have some problems with that too because I´m like a scarecrow I don´t talk and I think I´m a bit wierd o.O lol. The only way to get peopel to like you it´s no way ... or they like or they don´t it feels kinda lonely this way but we cna´t force someoen to like us or we can´t force us to be diferent so they start to like us :) even if some people do it unfortunately or not :D
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
thanks for the response cmania! :)
@Porcospino (16435)
• Denmark
26 Feb 13
I can relate to things you wrote about being silent because I used to be the same way. In your situation I would observe my co-workers and try to find out if some of them are silent as well. As a silent person I found it easier to initiate a conversation with people who were silent instead of the very outgoing people who talk a lot. I understand that you want you co-workers to like you, but I think that it is important that don't try to please them and say the "right" things, because if you do that it will difficult for them to find who you really are and it will be difficult to find people who share your interests, beliefs etc. They will probably respect and like you more if you are honest and don't try to please them.
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
thanks for the advice porcospino! :)
• Greece
26 Feb 13
In my personal opinion you don't need to try getting other people to like you. All you need to do is simply be yourself. And if there are people with similar personalities to yours, those people will eventually like you. If you try to make them like you, you will probably end up pretending you are someone else. However, some good gestures and an honest smile always help!
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
thanks for the advice mageutiko! :)
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
I don't exert too much effort in making myself be loved or liked by people around me. I just let them see who I really am. I do try to reach out to them coz it could be really unhappy to be alone most of the time. Try approaching them and find ways on how you can communicate with them like finding out where they came from, what was the job they had or from what school did they graduate from.
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
thanks for your response jenny! :)
@miryanag (348)
• Bulgaria
26 Feb 13
I am introvert as well. I keep it to myself most of the time , but this never stoped me from haveing friends. If someone starts a conversation I respond with a smile. I am always willing to help.When I am in a new place with new people I am the quiet one I just observe the behavior of others I make one step at a time and I get closer to strangers slowly so I can feel comfortable at the end people like me because of who I am and they respect that I m not a babbler.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thanks for the response miryanag! :)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
FRIENDSHIP earn by engaging your life to be socially responding to a smile. If you think youre not friendly because of your shyness, it doesnt mean so. Maybe your shyness comes from your being lonely, aloft, experiencing something like having phobia, that you think someone is gossiping about you, saying something about you, feeling uncomfortable with your new environment... it will last ,it takes time ...be patient enough someone will approaches you to be their friend. You dont have to boost about yourself ,you can have your privacy close. Work and School are topics that most discussed. Try to compliment yourself how you do at school, the good and the bad side, your working experience, dont say negative about others, but be gentle to compliment others, even when they dont deserve it, but anyhow the positive vibration keep wanting your friendly visit with them. SMILE is the best weapon at the right place and time. Always wear them, they will come to you at anytime because they know you are a good person.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thanks for the response mkrijos_reds! :)
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
26 Feb 13
i don't know what to tell you, because i don't have many friends and i am not in the habit of making any. i would say to just keep to yourself. especially in the work place. there is no bigger mess cause than by having friends at work. you are much more safer the way you are.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thanks for the response moongypsy! :)
@Raine38 (9050)
• United States
26 Feb 13
Just be yourself, and smile more often. A smile can go a long way. Say hi or hello from time to time whenever you pass by your co-workers along the hallway or when you see them when you arrive. Then if you are feeling more confident and more at ease on their reception whenever you say hi or smile at them, try to ask if you can join them for lunch or share a table during breaks. The worse that they can do is say no.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thank you for the response raine38! :)
@momalisa65 (1744)
• United States
26 Feb 13
I would say just be nice to everyone. Don't talk too much about yourself and the great things you have done. Be interested in what they have to say, and make them feel good about themselves by complimenting them. Try to find things you have in common with them by asking them questions, but don't be too nosy in their personal business.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thank you momalisa65 for your response! i dont know when and where to start, maybe i should have a plan to get along with them i will try during our lunch break.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
26 Feb 13
danix1982 I don't think you need to share stories to get friends. Most people like to talk about themselves and tell their stories. Be interested in what others say, ask questions, ask for advice but don't go overboard in praising the answers. Good listeners are hard to find. When you show interest in others they often mistake that for your being a good converstaionalist.. Wishing you all the best
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
thank you for your response stary1! i will try this option, yes good listeners are really hard to find.
• United States
26 Feb 13
I just be myself and that is all I need to do. for starters I am very open and funny so people around me always have a great time. they laugh their heads off and I like to invite people to spend the day with me and often times they will crash on my sofa.
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
i agree of being yourself is the best to people to like you, i want to be open and funny also but i dont know how to start a conversation with them thats why i ended up silent and alone.