complicated heart

@tipay26 (867)
Philippines
February 28, 2013 5:20am CST
Have you been in a complicated relationship?I mean you were in a relationship but there are a number of issues and intrigues that comes your way.I must admit I have an on the rocks relationship with my ex live in partner.Yes you are reading it right I have an ex live in partner and I am having a hard time fixing our relationship since we are far apart from each other.I went home to our house because we have some domestic problems we can't fix when we were living together.I don't know maybe because of his young age of 21 and I am 31. :( My family specially my mother doesn't approve of our relationship and him as well.So I have to choose to whether whom to leave and whom to be with.I love them both but I am having a hard time making two ends meet and understand each other.I need some enlightenment from my fellow lotters here..
9 responses
@machatago (385)
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
That is a very complicated relationship, I can also tell you are having a hard time since your avatar is looking so said over there. Well, I think you need to talk to your mom more about how happy you are with him even if you two have that age gap. I think you can't blame your mom too since she's just worried about you that you would end up being hurt because the guy is very young and it can't be avoided that he may do some little bit of cheating here and there. You can't deny at that age, they are still boys and act like one, I'm not saying all, but some, so just be careful. I think you should just concentrate on your home for now with your mom and when everything gets fixed, you can move in with him later on. Just think about this, it can be a test to your relationship on how strong you two are. If he will remain faithful to you, then he has proven that he really loves you. That situation can be a blessing too, just hold on and be strong, you can make it.
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
28 Feb 13
l agree with you but she should communicate her decision to both ends clearly before leaving and departing from one. happy my lotting.
@miryanag (346)
• Bulgaria
28 Feb 13
I have been in your shoes. My father didn't aprove of my ex. It was because of his ethnic group. It was very hard time for me. We broke up not because of my father disaproval but because we couldnt live toghether we had scandals every day and the guy started to abuse me mentaly.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
Relationships are mostly complicated because parents wants the best for her child . They were the first to be in that swing , so they knew very well how it feels to be there and they don't like that their child can experienced same , they wanted nothing but best to the kids. That is why often they are misinterpreted and this starts the flame . No parents who don't want there child to have a bright future , that is why they always interfere with married life of some children.
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
This a hard and tough thing, i'm just lucky to have a very understanding family, i still remember when i was young, my father told us that when i comes to love, they will not interfere, we are responsible with our choosing the person whom to be our partner for rest of our life. There are things that i don't other about this kind of situation. Why those people that around you and the first persons to support and understands about your happiness, are those people who disagree or don't want you to be happy? why is that? if the both of you loved each other, then the both of you must make a decision,if your parents and relatives really loved you, then they should accept your decision. Good Luck to you.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
Hi Tipay, since you have asked us about our opinions. Coming from a relationship that was also opposed by my mother I think your b parents are just concerned about you. I felt torn too before and my ex was only for years younger than I. It did not lasted more than four years for us because my mother was correct after all. I can only tell you to decide on the matter according to what you b feel and see with him. If it doesn't work out, then what are the probable reasons why it might not work out anymore I feel though that I can only tell you that you should always decide on what you b think is right for you. It v is complicated but a decision you make can make all the difference. I hope you would be able to clear your head and know b what to do. Always ask for God's guidance. V
• South Korea
2 Mar 13
we cannot always get what we want, although its hard for you to let go, when you are done moving on just think about of the lesson you learned. Honestly I think its not a wise decision to continue the relationship, because of the age gap, no offense but its like taking care of a baby, (well you can say he is mentally matured, but still we cannot erase the fact how people see your situation) I am not judging you but I am just being real. sometimes when your really in love you became blind.. Anyway there is no need to choose if they love you im sure they dont want to see you in despair if you really want to stay with both of them.. you and your boyfriend have to prove it to your family. On the other side if your boyfriend failed to show these, just think about that family will always be there for you whatever happened, its up to you if you will follow them. If you choose to be with your boyfriend im sure time will pass by and your family will also accept you with open arms. I just think that they dont want to see suffer or get hurt.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
So, you mean, your mother is against your relationship that caused strain into your relationship? You are old enough to know what is right and wrong. And if you feel that your guy is someone that you really believe is the one for keeps, then go on with the relationship. Talk to your mom about it. I am sure that if the guy was really no good for you, you would have forgotten about him long time ago.
@jalucia (1431)
• United States
28 Feb 13
I think it was a wise choice to separate. sometimes you need to leave a complicated situation in order for it to sort itself outv
@choconut (297)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
been there, also have a boyfriend whom my family don't approve of. And I rebelled since I love this guy and I think I can be independent and all. But in the end I regret it, because that guy cheated on me. Yeah! He cheated on me. So I told myself, mother knows best and even though i lost a love life i never lost my family. So when the next guy comes I only entered the relationship when i know my family likes/approves the guy. Lesson learned.
• United States
1 Mar 13
Well, I have to admit that there is a big age difference. I would think that could get in your way since because of his age, he mah be too immature for you. Maybe you should have a talk with him and discuss your difference in life if you have any. I think it is a good idea for hyou to move away from him because it will give you some time to think about your problems.