should I help my ex ?

@Mintlin (323)
China
March 1, 2013 8:19pm CST
My exboyfriend and I,we were college mate ,we had relationship for almost 3 years. we love each other much at that time,our only problem was we both had a bad temper and we never try to accept and bear each other.but i do not think it's the big problem,besides this ,we really had a fun time when we were togther. After we graduated from college,i thought we may consider get married. unfortunately,his dad died (cancer),his family suddenly lost the big bread winner,but i did not care this,i still wanted to get married with him. yet her mother was very superstitious,she met the fortune teller and that man said our marriage did not work out ,my ex boyfriend soon broken up with me that happened alreay 54 years ago. Last year,i met my mr.right and i got married,i have a very nice marriage life with my husband. my ex- visited my facebook page very often,once per week,yet he didnot leave any message.I think he miss me and care me. recently,i got from my friend that her mother suffers a very serious disease,my ex asks borrowing money from all his friend.his family used to treat me very well,i do not know should i give him money to help him or not,after all,we have been done and we never contact each other.
8 responses
• South Korea
2 Mar 13
Well I agree with the comments above, its not bad to help as long as your hubby knows it, and if he is cool with that then of course you could help. I think as a partner he should always be aware of whats bugging you anyway if you would not be able to send your help however, there are still a lot of ways to help aside financially, you can still pray for him and his family.^^
@Mintlin (323)
• China
2 Mar 13
hi,yes,whatever his mother done for me,i think i should help, i will talk to my husband and maybe i will ask my friend to forward my money for him
• South Korea
2 Mar 13
yes that will be better..
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
I think you should help, not for the reason that he is your ex bf, but for a humanitarian reason, it is noble to help people who is in need. Anyway i'm so amazed about the two of you, you didn't stop the communication after all what had happened in the past, but there is always reasons behind about the things that had happened in the past, there is always a purpose.
@Mintlin (323)
• China
2 Mar 13
actually i did not have any communication with him, i think i almost forgot him ! it's been 5 yrs ago. though we did not end good,but i still pray for him
@rockyk (160)
• India
2 Mar 13
It will be a very sweet gesture on your part if you do help him out with money. But this is a very vulnerable situation. He seems to have feelings for you still so if you carry out their interactions alone, one thing may lead to another. As you said, you love your husband and you would, of course, not want to do anything to hurt him. So, my suggestion would be to talk to your husband and then do what both of you decide. Just don't hide it from your husband. Don't meet your ex alone. Always meet him with your husband by your side.
@Mintlin (323)
• China
2 Mar 13
yes,well said,rockyk, thank you for your reminding. i will not see my ex alone. All decisions must be made by me and my husband
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
2 Mar 13
Mintlin I think it is sweet of you to want to help him after the relationship has changed. Whether or not to give him money in my opinion depends on several conditions..how badly does he need the money and can you afford to give him money. If you can give him some money without hurting your own situation, I would say do it. It would probably be a good idea to tell yur husband what you are doing too. Past boyfriends that you were close to are relationships that meant something to you at one time and I see no reason not to help him if you can afford to.
@Mintlin (323)
• China
2 Mar 13
Hello there,thank you. I see your point,yes,i think i should tell my husband first before i take next step,i love my husband much and i do not want to hurt him. For my ex boyfriend, i do not love him any more, the reason i would like to help him,i think it's just i want to thank him for beening nice to me in the old days
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
2 Mar 13
54 years? Wow, that's been so long. It's amazing that until now you manage to keep track of each others' whereabouts. Anyway, if you think that they badly in need of help and you can well afford to help a bit, then if he approached you, you can of course help him. It's all in the past and at least all's well that ends well for the both of you. I don't think it will be an issue anymore as to whoever the help comes from, I mean it's not as if you two are enemies right?
@Mintlin (323)
• China
2 Mar 13
I'm sorry for the typo,it's 5 years not 54 years
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
You did mention that his family treated you well and yes you have been separated already. You are now just a friend, and he is a friend as far as you are concerned. If you need to help him out because he needs the money for his mother's medical expenses, I say it is alright to help him out if you have got the extra money. There is no problem in that, that i see.
• India
2 Mar 13
don't let him loose his mother inspite of all the indifferences between you and him. you still are a human being, and it would be nice of you to help him. if you are not willing to help just because of the past then i think it is not a healthy decision. anyways it is up to you, choose whatever you feel is right and everything will work out for the best. have a great life ahead.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
It is actually up to you if you would want to extend help. After all, you ave been friends long before you became a couple, right? But it is not your obligation to give anything. Either way you decide, is fine.